How much is too much?
How many times can a friend or acquaintance make the same mistakes in a desperate attempt for attention before they've had their last chance and you just can't take anymore?
I generally invoke the three-strike rule. If the offender is a mere acquaintance, then the third strike seals the deal. That's it. I've no more time for them.
A friend got to be a friend and more than a mere acquaintance for a reason(s). I may come down hard on a friend for his/her behavior, I may even call them every name in the book and, if necessary, invent a few new names. But I never completely turn my back on a friend.
Final thought: Any fool shallow enough to engage in "desperate attempt(s) for attention" never would make it to friend status with me in the first place. All my friends know that if they need my attention, all they need do is ask.
When it poses a physical threat to your life as it did with me.
I would die for someone I love, but not if they feel justified in killing me. Stepping into traffic is romantic, but fatal attraction is oh so incredibly passe'.
My departure had nothing to do with not loving her, in fact, I really wanted to work it out. Never the less, some of us need space and time to heal from earlier life incidences. I had to learn to accept that.
She is and was so beautiful!!! So very amazing in her capacity, but had things she needed to see, learn, experience etc. In the end, I was not enough. I forgive her, but enough was enough when and only when I felt threatened. She had some things that needed to be worked out. Me too, but not to that extent.
Now, if she came back, if I were single I would say to her -- fantastic!!!! Let's try again.
So, it may be a matter of instinct, intuition and common sense depending, but to this day, I still love her and would like very much to hear her say -- "I understand now." A fairy tale ending, but people come with parts, chapters and vices that we just don't discover up front. I am so proud of her to this day!!! We are not together for the aforementioned reasons... REASONS... but time and space could prove to be the fruit of design that brings us to a consensus, compromise and a convivial togetherness that beforehand, was not possible.
She is the only female Genius I have ever dated. I have known others however, and to be honest, I think that has something to do with our battling egos. Having said that, I think that she still loves me. Never the less, it would require shared apologies to determine whether the last chance was something either of us wants.
WIthout shared values, no relationship can stand, no matter how forgiving any of us are. We always have to work together with the understanding that our perspectives can align. Ours did to a point... to make matters worse -- she was a visual artist, and so was I. Nothing could be more volatile that differences of opinion over aesthetics. And my, how aesthetically pleasing she was, is and always will be.
Love -- the drug I would take over and over and over again if only I could afford it. Did I mention that it all took place abroad?
MMMMMMM... such a good substance!!!
I think it just depends on who the person is and how much they mean to me. I have a lot of tolerance and I try to understand why certain people act the way that they do. Sometimes someone has deep emotional issues that cause them to seek attention.
Often times these issues can be traced back to childhood and the attention seeking is motivated by a need to obtain parental approval. The main goal that drives people like this is to re-create a once wished-for parental response.
I believe that if I care enough about someone then I will do what I have to do to deal with and maybe even help them through their problems. I do agree however that constant attention seeking can get very tiresome to deal with and unless it is someone I care about who is acting this way then I won't tolerate it for long. Because I do understand it though, I am always willing to try to talk to someone and offer them help or advice before I write them off completely.
I give everyone a few tries. I don't keep a count in my head but the more they mean to me the more tries I give them. But with that said, I'm not afraid to end a friendship. My tolerance level is only so high and I value my own sanity more than someone else's. A friend that pushes their limits with me will find themselves friendless if they don't make major changes. I'm not passive aggressive and I let my feelings known. Been there, done that. And I'm a much happier and drama free person for knowing when to let go.
It's not a matter of how many times your friend behaves badly, It's weather you've decided their behavious makes you want to disassociate with them. It's when you can no longer tolerate being around them any more. When you can't see the friendship continuing. It's your call.
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