How should one deal with a partner that takes them for granted and is too pridef

1. 60

   ThoseSweetMilesposted 10 years ago

   How should one deal with a partner that takes them for granted and is too prideful to admit it?
   
   I've been dating this guy for about 4 months. We care a lot about each other, but it seems like all we do is argue and he always has to be right, no matter how small the issue is.
   Everyone tells me I should leave him because he doesn't treat me as well as I treat him and I'm constantly down because of this.
   However when we're one on one things are okay, usually.
   I'd rather not call it quits just yet, but he's starting to push me to the breaking point.
   Any tips on how to possibly make things easier on myself and my emotions?
   
   

   replyreport
2. 65

   JP Banksposted 10 years ago

   I hate to say it, but you need to evaluate your situation. If you feel like you are being undervalued, then you believe you have value. If your current partner is not giving you what you need, you might need an 'upgrade.' However, sometimes, the problem could be just a lack of communication, or a different way of seeing things. You need to bring up the subject in a serious manner, not during an argument and not with tears. Be serious, and be firm: If you want to be with me, then.......Make it an ultimatum, and if they don't comply, then find a new fish in the sea!

   replyreport
   1. 60

      ThoseSweetMilesposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, that's very true. I guess things just get really sticky when their whole family adores you, because then it's not just leaving the person it's leaving the family. But I guess that's just life, right?

      replyreport
3. 60

   duffsmomposted 10 years ago

   You have to realize one thing; who he is and who he has been for the past 4 months is not going to change. He isn't suddenly going to become the boyfriend of your dreams.  Move on now because if you stay, you will likely get more of the same.  The problem is not you - it is him. Is this how you want to spend your life?  I hope not.

   replyreport
   1. 60

      ThoseSweetMilesposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, definitely do not want to spend my life like this. There's only so much a person can take.

      replyreport
4. 59

   tuteramandaposted 10 years ago

   that's interesting ,just like my pre girlfriend,she just think about what i give to her never thinnk of the what she offer to me ,and when we break up ,she set black mail to me that if i want to break up i need pay her some money,i think you boyfriend may better than my girl friend

   replyreport
5. 68

   Nationetteposted 10 years ago

   First i must admit, i did not read the description below the question  and i mean no disrespect by this its just that knew the answer, regardless of the situation, after only reading the question. ANSWER: You should NOT 'deal with' or have to 'deal with' anyone taking you for granted ever. Im not promoting my stuff but i do have an article about how to keep your mind off a break up if you need ideas how to get through the first week or two... but get out now.  You must act on what is real and in front of you and that is a vacuum relationship that sucks what you have out of you and gives nothing back. go and do you and appreciate and love yourself enough for you and the next guy. this is not to say that this guy might be the one and your destined to be together someday, but guess what destined means?! IF IT IS MEANT TO BE, IT WILL BE... who knows, maybe losing you will drive him insane to find himself and realize you were the best thing he's ever had and out of the blue in the future he will reappear and make it so clear he is a grown up now who is ready to enjoy and appreciate you, that you wont even have a second guess as to where you will step from there.. but end of the day, the answer is... you dont.

   replyreport
6. 81

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   Most relationships are still in the "infatuation phase" during the first 6 months!
   If "everyone" is telling you to leave him because (he doesn't treat you right) then maybe you should evaluate this relationship. It's possible you're trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
   You say, "I'd rather not call it quits just yet..." Why not? Do you feel this the best you can do? or Do you subscribe to the belief that "any" man is better than no man?
   Know yourself, Love yourself, and Trust yourself!
   If something doesn't feel right to you then it's probably not right for you.
   Life is too short to be trying to figure out a way to get someone else to change. The only person you can control is (yourself). You are responsible for your own happiness and if being in this relationship does not make you happy then move on.
   There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.
   If there is this much drama after only 4 months that is a major red flag. Too often people stay in a toxic relationship for so long that they con themselves into using the amount of (time) they've "invested" into the relationship as their reason to stay in it.
   Don't let 4 months turn into 4 years.

   replyreport
7. 73

   lburmasterposted 10 years ago

   If he cannot come to the terms that he might be wrong in a situation, there is something wrong with his pride. So much so, it's a hastle being around him. His negativity about discussions just drags you down and that is not what you should be getting out of a close relationship. If he cares more about his reputation than your feelings in public, he doesn't care about you. He's too self-centered to care about you.

   replyreport
8. 60

   Sabrina Tells Allposted 10 years ago

   The struggle between the heart and the mind can be very much like a puzzle.  Our mind knows that our heart loves so passionately and yet the mind understands the warning signs.  Which increment should win in this tug-of-war?  If the heart wins, we will love and live in the moment always longing for change.  If the mind wins, the heart will ache but eventually will heal.  The mind is very wise because it can detect even the smallest change leading us to danger.  It may be subtle at first, but then grows ever stronger.  We have no control over someone else, and as women we are taught to love and nurture.  Relationships are about boundaries and growth.  Boundaries because you must decide what you can or cannot live with.  If you ignore the signals that your mind is sending you, then you are ignoring your boundaries.  If you ignore them, then why should he listen?  When a relationship is stuck within this mode, there is no room for mutal growth and the relationship will last only as long as one person continues to ignore the signals from the mind.  In essence, this leads to a one sided relationship.  Would you rather go through your life with someone that loves you and appreciates you, or someone that always makes you feel wrong and less than he?  Only you can decide, will it be your mind or your heart?  History is a strong indicator, the name may be different, the environment may be different, but it always seems to end the same.   - Sabrina Tells All -

   replyreport