How do you know when a friendship is beyond saving?
Have any of you ever called it quits on a friendship? If so, what was the final straw that made you walk away? On the opposite side, what was someone's reasons when they choose to walk away from you?
Sadly, it happens. Two things I've seen are irreconcilable mutual incomprehension - we just can't get on the same page, and, after forgiveness and a renewal, failure to keep the new agreement, destroying trust, say, a third time.
I've never ever had a "breakup" with a friend. Generally speaking the friendships of my past died without any conflict. The most common reasons are our interests changed, one or both peope relocated, serious relationships/marriage or family take up more time. Some friends are with us for a season and others are with us for life.
Having said that I suspect women rely on their friends more for "emotional support" than men. Guys tend to rely on their girlfriends/wives for emotional support. I have not seen my two best friends in 5 years and haven't spoken to them all that much via phone or email since I moved from California to Chicago. However I not only still consider us to be best friends but brothers with different mothers! Speaking of which I haven't actually seen my own brothers in almost 6 years and yet they remain my brothers!
Friendships are a state of mind.
I believe "friendship breakups" are more common among women especially those under the age of 40. Younger people to get into each other's "personal lives" in such way that it leads to "drama". The older one becomes the more (selective) they are about what they share. A true friend wants you to be happy and vice versa.
"Friends are the family we choose."
One man's opinion! :-)
I have had experience with calling it quits on a friendship. Just as in relationships with a boy/girl friend or spouse, it has to be give and take on the part of both friends. When one person puts forth the effort to maintain a friendship and the other doesn't, it results in a one-sided relationship that is best to walk away from. It's difficult and sad to have to make this decision.
A very good friend and I went separate ways after she was always asking me to drive an hour to visit her, initiating phone calls to her, dropping everything to be there for her when she became quite sick, staying with her when her husband was gone because she was deathly afraid to stay alone. But I soon realized that it was me doing all the work and putting forth all the effort into the friendship. And sadly, I began to let go. When it wasn't about her, I didn't matter. It was an extremely difficult decision to walk away from the friendship, but I felt it was in my best interest.
It's time to walk away when you find out someone is a compulsive lier. I can't stand liers.
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