To those from small families who married or entered into a committal relationshi

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   gmwilliamsposted 12 years ago

   To those from small families who married or entered into a committal relationship with those
   
   from large and very large families, which one is the more openminded, liberal, accepting, and adventurous of the two of you?  Usually, small families are more liberal while large families are more conservative in terms of ideology and belief systems. There is more of an equal parity in small families than it is in large and very large families where there is more of a hierarchical relationships.Parents in small families are more democratic  and warm while in large and very large families, they are more authoritarian and harsh.
   
   

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   RealityTalkposted 12 years ago

   I am not quite sure I understand the question.  But I will try to answer as if I do.  I was born into a large family; 2 parents & 4 brothers & 2 sisters.  I agree there was a pecking order from older to younger.  There also seemed to be a grouping off of sexes at nearer ages.  I was third child/third boy followed by 2 girls then 13 years later 2 more boys.  I was the forgotten one; just another boy followed 1-year later by the first girl.  My parents did nothing with me individually.  I was always part of a group and lost in the center of that group; not the oldest, not the youngest; not the oldest or youngest boy.
   
   My own family consists of myself, my wife & our son & our 2 daughters.  Not only are there many group activities and interactions there are many one one one interactions between myself & each child and my wife & each child.  It may just be my wife & I.  It may just be our personalities and our love for our children.  Or maybe it has something to do with the size of our family.  I try to give each of my children individual time with me as well as group time amongst us all. 
   
   If I had to decide, I would say it is easier to build close relationships with each child if the family is smaller.

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      gmwilliamsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You have SAID it, totally concur.  At least you're honest regarding your family of origin situation. MOST people from large families ARE NOT, they are IN DENIAL regarding how unhappy their childhoods were but put on a 'HAPPY' face for the world.

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   lburmasterposted 12 years ago

   There are exceptions to every rule and my husband seems to be one of them. An only child, his childhood was more harsh than mine. A mother who worked full-time and couldn't be there for him. A father who abused him. One parent authoritarian, the other democratic. Both of our families are conservative. Another family that comes to mind is one I grew up with. 12 children and the house was constant havoc. The mother couldn't handle it and the system was entirely hierarchial based on birth. Yes, they were conservative but in no way authoriarian and harsh.
   Can you please include the study where you found the information that large families are more authoritarian and harsh while small families are more democratic and warm? I am interested in family dynamics.

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      gmwilliamsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I read a book not so long ago stating that because of the large # of children, parents of large families tend to employ harsher means to control their children.Large families are not warm/interactive as small families are.

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      lburmasterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I'd love the name of the book for entertainment reading.

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      gmwilliamsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I  cannot recall the name of the book, so sorry.  I read it 3 decades ago.

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      lburmasterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Considering the revolution in child obsession, I suggest a current study. Children are thought of as more special now than they were then. It would be interesting to see if that has changed.

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