Is finding a true "friend" possible nowadays?

  1. Instgtr profile image59
    Instgtrposted 5 years ago

    Is finding a true "friend" possible nowadays?

    I'm very happily married to my wife and she is definitely my best friend - but I often wish there was someone else, a "buddy" I could talk with, someone I could go to when I'm down, someone to bounce things off of, open up and tell my problems to...

    I have relatives I'm close to and have a few friends (mostly from work), but I've never found anyone I'd call a life long "true" friend.

    Have people changed so much over the last 20-30 years that they don't have the time or have become so "unfriendly" that friendships don't mean what they used to?

    Is it just me?  Does anyone else feel this way ?

  2. Benjimester profile image92
    Benjimesterposted 5 years ago

    I know one thing for sure, making a lifelong friend takes active striving.  You won't stumble into it.  As a man, I think men are more activity driven than relationally driven.  If you have a hobby, or are thinking about a hobby you might like to start, it'll probably be easier to find someone to spend time with that's interested in the same hobby.  If I were in your situation, that's probably how I would approach it.  I have a very good friend whom I share many common interests.  We both like to read philosophy and poetry, go on hikes, exercise, and play the same sports.  It's awesome to be able to do so many different things with the same person.

  3. dashingscorpio profile image86
    dashingscorpioposted 5 years ago

    In order to have life long friendships both people have to "nurture" the friendship. In past generations it was common for people to grow up in a town and remain there for the rest of their lives. Their children went to the same schools that they did and most likely had some of the same teachers, family run businesses remained in the neigborhood and just about everyone who got married married someone who also grew up in the area.
    Today people move around a lot more. Even if you made a friend at work during the age of 50 it's not likely you would (feel) as though they were a "life long" friend if their backgrounds are very different from your own. Not many people today are best friends with someone they have known since the first grade.
    Men for the most part don't "emotionally invest" into friendships the way women do. I have never cried in front of my male friends or sought comforting words or a hug to get me through a rough moment. And yet I would say my two best friends over the past 35 years are like siblings to me. Although because we're 2000 miles away we rarely see one another. Men tend to save the emotional part of their lives for their wives or significant other. Maybe that's why studies indicate we live longer when we are married. :-)
    At any rate very few people have those Hollywood "best friends" that are portrayed in the movies.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)