let the relationship evolve on its own, so that the two people invovled know weather or not this is something that might have long term legs,.... so many times, when children are introduced to early, people get attatched to the kids and sudenly your making descisions about your relationship that arent really based on the person your dating,... i cant tell you how many times ive heard women AND MEN say,... "i loved the kids, god i loved the kids,.. it hurt so bad to loose kids that i loved like my own,.. i held on for the kids"..... but eventauly the strain is too great and resentment builds,..... MAKE SURE your have a relationship that is first and formost built upon two peole who will want to spend the rest of thier lives together.... it may sound harsh,.. but two people sometimes have to survive thier kids! lol!... even when they are both the biological parents of ALL thier kids,.. marriage/relationships are tough,.... raising kids is hard on a relationship some times,... make sure your tough enough for it.
time frame for introducing kids to the equation? thats VERY individual,.. perhaps a month or two, perhaps 6 months,... but do this introduction with the confidence that your not just constantly introducing your kids or (someone elses kids) to just the next person in a string of people to get attatched to and then loose.... obviously your kids and/or someone elses have ALREADY experinced loss,... dont compound the hurt if you can help it.
i might also add that generaly, when two people meet that already have kids, the childrens ages need to figure into your choice of when to introduce a partner to them,.... do you have teens? they might handle the introduction in passing well,... or not,... smaller children tend to "latch on" and attatch themselves to parent figures and you DEFFINATELY want to be sure your not setting up little ones for another loss later,... AND lets not forget that biological parents may well still be in the picture,... they have to be delt with as well.
It bears saying that the relationship that two single parents build together will out last the home/children structure,.... so in putting together a "brady bunch" scenario, you do so in 3 phases,... phase 1 being the delicate dating and courtship, family/children introductions etc,.... phase 2 is the time, when after making the descision to work it together rather than alone, you are all in it together, raising your kids and building a family from broken pieces,... you become a team of sorts,..... but always remember phase 3,... all parents are left behind by thier children and become the empty nest couple,.... and for parents in a "brady bunch" scenario, it will be the FIRST time theyve had the house to themselves to just be each other,...
just so many variable in the equation,.... each situation is different and unique.... but its a great question and thank you for giving me the chance to answer it.
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