Emotional Baggage: Do you acknowledge your own or just tell others about theirs?
These days everyone seems to play "couch therapist". This is especially true in troubled relationships. I believe real change comes from within when an individual is unhappy with (their) life. Have you ever been involved with someone who felt it was their duty to point out your flaws or baggage without acknowledging they had their own? Do you believe a couple should attempt to (fix) each other or simply determine if they can (accept) one another as is?
I'm the first one to admit my own because in acknowledging it existed, I was able to heal from it. I also find talking about it helps others through difficult times.
My mother is a classic example of mrs fix it. As a child, I longed for her attention and approval which I never got. So, when I sought a mate, I married one just like my mother. It ended badly because all he ever did was exactly as you describe here, pointed out the flaws in my self instead of looking at his own first.
My ex attempted on many occasions to "fix" me. I grew resentful toward him. As he did I. Once I gained confidence in going back and re-examining my own life, I realized it wasn't going to work out ever. The final straw was when we disagreed on the way I cooked potatoes. I stuck a fork in them to see if they were done...
I accept him for the person who he is, but it wasn't an enduring relationship or one that would ever last. We are better off now. He is living his dream in the big city, and I am merry homemaker to my family and husband. Both of us couldn't be happier.
We were both of the example, you can't fix what isn't broken. Neither one of us thought we were broken.
CraftytotheCore, I've reached the conclusion that when a mate tells you about (your) flaws over and over again they're basically saying, "You're not the one for me." Glad to hear you found someone who loves and appreciates you for who you are!
It is vital that we remember that we are imperfect as well. When we look at ourselves first and foremost, then we can help others with their relationship problems. #We are imperfect.
Nobody is perfect and talking abut emotional baggage should work both ways helping others with such issues can be a way of solving the issue.One can only get things right if spoken about.
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