How can you handle it when you stay in the moment and your partner talks about tomorrow/next week?
I know many couples who become very stressed when one person wants to live in the moment most of the time. It appears to be a "brain issue." If a person is good at multitasking, they have a hard time being in the moment. Their minds are always moving. The other person sometimes can't handle that thought process.
This is all part of our task of learning tolerance, I expect. I can identify with this because I'm the 'endearour to stay in the moment person' (as in meditation) my wife is the multi-tasker who is foreover planning ahead and never able to abide even a modicum of silence. The radio is switched on by her as soon as she gets up. If it isn't the radio, it's the television. It doesn't matter if if it's not being listened to or watched. My wife, I'm convinced, cannot abide silence.
I never tell my wife things like 'being in the Now.' I doubt she would understand. However, she does tolerate - and has done for over twenty-six years - my going into my study twice daily to meditate.
I'm of the belief that we are both learning - albeit without realizing, in most instances - certain qualities such as patience, tolerance, listening skills etc and this is how it is meant to be.
Our egos don't like this sort of analysis, of course. To our egos, it is always the other person who is the cause of our troubles, not our reactive minds and negative emotions.
I guess that once this problem no longer seems to occur (and therefore we no longer notice it) we've reached the required level of wisdom to no longer need annoyance's prompting.
Between me and my husband, I am the dreamer who savor my every moment experience and he is the planner who wants to see to it that everything should be done according to plans...schedules and venues and the likes. I enjoy it anyway...knowing that those things I cannot do, he can and we reciprocate...I am not at all annoyed or bothered. I am in fact amazed on his "genius", at least for me...I am awed that he can organize the future now...whereas for me, I am more relaxed and just "go with the flow" because I know that the current will lead me towards the fulfillment of my dreams...it's always been like this in my life ever since so I had actually developed the faith that really works wonders in my life.
I suppose it depends on what the discussion entails.
Some people claim they are "staying in the moment" but really they are trying to bury their heads in the sand while hoping some miracle will rescue them from pending issues. Others can't enjoy the present because they are overly concerned about the future. It's healthy to have a mix. Without vision the people will perish. Tomorrow is promised to no man.
I think it's human nature when we are young to only live in the moment and when we become older we take a long-term view. The squirrel plays during the spring and summer and yet it makes time to store nuts for the fall and the winter. Balance is key.
"He who fails to plan is planning to fail" …Winston Churchill
"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow it empties today of its strength" - Corrie Ten Boom
I do not take life seriously nor do I plan for the future either. I believe in living now and let tomorrow take care of itself. Luckily, my husband is somewhat alike with me along the lines of that thinking although he is a little more pragmatic and a little more sensible in "LIFE's "realities. This is never an issue between him and me as we both know and have experienced an inner knowing of a higher being looking over us. Realizing that is enough to calm and quell the nerves of worrying about the future in this life. You cannot take none of it with you to the grave anyway, so what's the fuss?
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