How do you handle a "friend" who delights in contradicting your every thought an

1. 79

   Brett Winnposted 12 years ago

   How do you handle a "friend" who delights in contradicting your every thought and opinion?

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2. 81

   homesteadboundposted 12 years ago

   I would have to consider whether they really were my friend or not. I think it would be difficult to be friends with someone who you appear to have nothing in common with and who appears to want to control how you think and feel.

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3. 79

   Brett Winnposted 12 years ago

   it's more like this friend seems to want to both compete and contradict me in everything I do and say. I think you said a lot in your first sentence ... makes me sad, though.

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4. 72

   pjpittsposted 12 years ago

   I agree with homesteadbound about the "friend" actually being a real friend or not.  This person sounds like someone who feels better about themselves by putting other people down, like a power trip. This type of thing has happened to me and it is draining and confusing, not to mention hurtful!  If this person is someone important you could ask them why they are acting that way or if something is bothering them and see if they will level with you, if they won't do that, then  I would consider putting some distance between myself and the "friend."  Good luck!!

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5. 60

   duffsmomposted 12 years ago

   I would change them from being a friend to an acquaintance.  Someone like that is so hard to be around.  If you can't talk to them and get them to stop - and that is unlikely if that is who they are - I would spend less time with the person.

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6. 38

   alisha4uposted 12 years ago

   Keep mum....wait for them to finish up contradiciting... Give a pleasant smile...
   Reply only when you have a strong point (in a group of friends)... and 'Sew their Mouth' !!

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7. 92

   MsDoraposted 12 years ago

   Find out the reason for your friend's behavior.  Need for control?  Looking for recognition?  Have inferiority complex?  Help him/her deal with the issue if he/she needs help?  Otherwise, change the relationship if it bothers you enough.

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8. 61

   JayDeckposted 12 years ago

   You excise them from your circle of friends. You know, they could be asking the question, "What do you do with a friend that is always on the wrong side of every issue?"

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9. 64

   Mercia Collinsposted 12 years ago

   It depends why they are doing it. Young males often do this. It could be immaturity, jealousy, mind games.
   
   However, do bear in mind that a true friend does not always agree with you. A true friend tells you in private when he or she believes that you are wrong about something and this is especially important when your friend believes that your thoughts or opinions could lead you into danger or harm.
   
   You should ask your friend why he or she feels the need to contradict you, privately, not in front of others.
   
   Friends do not always have exactly the same thoughts and opinions about every single thing and sometimes it is very important that they do not.

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10. 57

    feenixposted 12 years ago

    If I had a "friend" who obviously "delights" in contradicting all of my thoughts and opinions, I would cease to have a friendship with that person.
    
    Every time his/her name would show up on my caller I.D., I would not answer the call, and I would avoid being at the same place at the same time he/she is there.

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11. 59

    Beege215eposted 12 years ago

    I don't think I would want to "handle" a "friend" like this.  I cannot change the people around me. I can only "handle" myself.  And I would take my handle and walk away.  Should that person come back to me later I would quietly and as gently as possible tell them why I walked away.  And I would walk away again to give them time to consider my response. If they would then choose to come back to me again, I would give them a second chance (we all need them sometimes).
    And now comes the "but".  But should they violate my personal rules again, we are done.

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12. 77

    Beata Stasakposted 12 years ago

    I have married him and now I am working on my verbal skills in myriad of discussions and negotiations every day...let just say I like to be challenged..it is part of learning and growing...

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13. 80

    Peter Allisonposted 12 years ago

    Marry her/him? LOL That's what I did. The joy is in the dialog and in the journey.

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14. 75

    Silva Hayesposted 12 years ago

    I would place some distance between myself and that "friend."  You probably can't change their behavior, and you should give some thought as to whether the friendship is benefitting you or damaging you.

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