This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
jump to last post 1-4 of 4 discussions (10 posts)

Does reality hit married couples of being married anymore, or is it just all a d

  1. kljones86 profile image81
    kljones86posted 3 years ago

    Does reality hit married couples of being married anymore, or is it just all a dream the individual?

  2. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 3 years ago

    Ideally "reality" hits a couple long before they say; "I do" if you referring to them knowing each other's "authentic self".
    Hopefully they've seen each other during stressful and unhappy times as well as witness the ranges of their temperament.
    It's also important to make sure one has selected a mate who shares their same values, wants the same things for the marriage, naturally agree on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
    Anyone who expects their marriage to resemble a "fairytale" is likely to be very disappointed after they return home from their honeymoon.
    The two leading causes for divorce is a) Selecting the "wrong mate" for oneself. b) Getting married for the "wrong reasons".
    The first happens when one has not figured out (who they are), what they want and need in a mate for life BEFORE they pursue relationships with others. They're likely to let impulsive connections and happenstance dictate their relationship choices. After saying "I do" they attempt to change their mate into the person they (really) want.
    There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.
    The second happens when people allow (circumstances) to influence their decision to marry. Examples include having reached an "age goal", being given an ultimatum, there was an unplanned pregnancy, all of their friends had gotten married, or someone joined the military and was about to be shipped out and they wanted to know there would be someone waiting...etc
    A marriage based upon circumstances rather than love is likely to fail.
    A third cause is some people get married before they have their ducks in a row. They have not completed their education, do not have an established career path, they're drowning in debt and still elect to have to have children with the belief "somehow" things will work itself out.
    He who fails to plan is planning to fail. The wedding is just one day.

    1. kljones86 profile image81
      kljones86posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      yes, but sometimes you can't plan for the stubbornness or denial of ones own perception to things. Regardless of everyone's own option, and we all are different , but is marriage more so an fantasy than a reality to one or the other, or both?

    2. Lori P. profile image86
      Lori P.posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      True, kljones86, but if you make your own reality a ridiculously happy one, that feeling is contagious.

    3. dashingscorpio profile image88
      dashingscorpioposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Yes! Marriage is a reality. However "living together happily ever after" is on case by case situation. Not everyone selects the "right mate" for them self and people sometimes do "grow apart". And yet most people want to be married at some point.

  3. kljones86 profile image81
    kljones86posted 3 years ago

    It seems it is more as an check in the box, an obligation of maturity, but not acknowledging the maturation, responsibility, or accountable. Its more of face off more so these days it seems.

    1. DDE profile image26
      DDEposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      When two people decide to marry they want to spend their rest of their lives together. ''Till death do us part''  What most couples don't realize is  marriage is teamwork and that they have to compromise.  The honeymoon stage does not always go away.

    2. kljones86 profile image81
      kljones86posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks DDE, I agree!

  4. Lori P. profile image86
    Lori P.posted 3 years ago

    It's different for all marriages. It is unrealistic to think a couple will sustain all the highs of falling in love as they set off to live everyday life with each other. There will be bills to pay, laundry to wash, colds and sicknesses to endure. But if you were ever truly in love, that love will carry you through the duller days of existence. I don't really think of everyday life as dull. It's nice to feel contentment, to have those soft lulls in life. We have had too many crises to face together. It's been on roller-coaster ride.

    But if you can look into each other's eyes and still the person you fell in love with, you can relive the headiness of falling in love all over again. We always said we wanted to grow old together, meaning we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Well, growing old isn't so fun sometimes! But it is so nice to be with each other to share all the pains and triumphs.

    If you find the shine of your marriage beginning to fade, remind each other of the person you were when you fell in love. Remember that you're still that same person. Feel young again. Lavish each other with the same loving attention. After nearly 29 years of marriage, my husband still tells me he loves me dozens of times each day, covers my face and hands with kisses, and asks what he can do to make me happy. And I do the same. My heart throbs with so much love for him.

    1. kljones86 profile image81
      kljones86posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much Lori!

 
working