Do you know of any "emotionally divorced" married couples?

1. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   Do you know of any "emotionally divorced" married couples?
   
   Maybe they've been "married" for many years but they're more like roommates with the same last name. They may even sleep in separate rooms with no romance. I know of a couple that lives in different homes. The husband is at the lake home and the wife stays in the city. On paper they've been married for 40 years however they've lived apart for 15 and show up together for family and company events. We tend to measure success of marriages by how long they last. Is staying married "no matter what" (cheating/abuse/living apart/no longer "in love"...etc) marital success in your eyes? Would you stay?
   
   

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2. 79

   Jeremy Gillposted 10 years ago

   Hi, dashingscorpio. Yes, I know some "emotionally divorced" couples. One of my best friend's parents live under the same roof, but in separate bedrooms. They honestly are little more than acquaintances at this point, and hold almost no feelings for each other. Still, it's not our place to judge others' positions. I wouldn't be happy with the lack of love in their marriage, and I would probably leave, believing true love to be out there somewhere. But I respect that they are grown adults who can make their own choices.

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   1. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      No judgment. A radio host asked her 85 year old grandmother what her secret was for having a 60 year marriage. The old woman replied: "Baby we just stayed together."
      Having no "deal breakers" may make a marriage (last) but it's probably not happy

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3. 63

   Junegirl58posted 10 years ago

   A couple very close to us that have been married for almost 30 yrs has, over the last eight years had been under so much stress that they feel as though they're not just mentally drained but as you say mentally divorced.  They confided that they had financial problems and husband was out of work for almost a year.
   
   There are times my husband and I feel the same, the love is there and occasionally we do sleep separate but only because we both snore and keep each other up during the night.  I couldn't imagine being without him even though it has crossed my mind with a couple stressors we've had over the course of the last three yrs or so.  Arguments are a part of a marriage...a part of life, but we can't let it get the best of us and just up and leave!  Couples need to talk things out and not yell and berate their partner.  We sometimes will chill out from each other for half hour or so and things do come around and get better.

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   1. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Chilling out from each other for a half hour or so is far better than being emotionally checked out of the marriage and living separate lives as if you were single.

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      Junegirl58posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yes I do know that.  Today was the second  or third time in all the years we've been married that I felt very alone from him, he just can be so mean when he's stressed out!

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4. 46

   DDEposted 10 years ago

   I know of a couple who were married for 30 years and I would place them as the emotionally divorced couple. They lived separate lives and with same last names.  It was painful to have spent so many years with one partner and finally divorce to move on.

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   1. 72

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I'm sure some couples stay together only because they've been together. From my point of view leaving after 30 years is better than leaving after 31 years or 40 years! Time is the most valuable commodity on earth. You don't want to waste it.

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