Do we need to first settle down before getting married?

1. 38

   Josh Makaveliposted 10 years ago

   Do we need to first settle down before getting married?
   
   what does settling down mean? is it financial settlement like having a permanent job or mental settlement i.e. one needs to be mature enough?

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2. 57

   CBStarrposted 10 years ago

   I don't think there is necessarily any order to it.  For example, you might have a permanent job and be financially stable but want to go out and "party" every night. That's not settling down. You might be in a mature relationship with someone yet still crave spontaneity and do irresponsible things which is not settling down.
   In my opinion settling down happens when you put the needs of others ahead of your own needs or wants. When you get married you are theoretically supposed to do that but often times you go about the same routines and practices you've always done, which is fine if your spouse is on board.  Personally I didn't settle down until I had kids. Don't get me wrong; my husband and I go out and "unsettle" any chance we get but once we had kids relying on us for everything we were doomed.

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   1. 38

      Josh Makaveliposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      so you are basically saying that when we are able to handle responsibilities of our own and also from others then we are settled?

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   2. 57

      CBStarrposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, I think when you are able to handle responsibility and choose to do so instead of doing something that you might rather do with your time, money, etc. then, yes, that is settling down.

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   3. 38

      Josh Makaveliposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks so much CGStarr

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3. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   Settling essentially means reaching a final decision.
   Assume someone has done a lot of dating, car shopping, changing their major in college, or whatever it is. Once they finally (choose a path) to "stick with" or (focus) on that's basically settling down. They're no longer going to be indecisively bouncing around
   Prior to marriage it is best to know yourself, know what you want and need in a mate for life, and have a sound plan for your future.

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   1. 38

      Josh Makaveliposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      but you know life is always bouncing around and we can never say that our lives are stable. Life is always a bouncing pitch

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   2. 71

      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yes life will always throw you curves nevertheless a person has to at least have an idea of what direction (they want) to go into bearing in mind they may have to make adjustments along the way. Decision and intention are needed at the origin.

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   3. 38

      Josh Makaveliposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      You are right dear and thanks for coming by

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4. 46

   DDEposted 10 years ago

   You are settled when you know how to handle situations about your future marriage.  When you know how to take in your full responsibility for being with your partner.

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   1. 38

      Josh Makaveliposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      so knowing the responsibility will solve the problem
      thanks

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