What's the ideal attitude towards a person who considers you a fool for being go

Jump to Last Post 1-5 of 5 discussions (10 posts)
  1. Donald Ogba profile image75
    Donald Ogbaposted 4 years ago

    What's the ideal attitude towards a person who considers you a fool for being good to him or her?

    If you encounter a person, who for one reason or the other, live with life long battered self-esteem, gravely look down on him or herself, to the extent that, if you have reasons to appreciate, love or treat such person better than he or she thinks is deserved and responds by making you feel very much like a fool for doing that, what's the best way of dealing with such person? So, that you don't hurt them or yourself.

  2. Express10 profile image87
    Express10posted 4 years ago

    Distance my friend. Distance. If one doesn't hold themselves in reasonably high esteem, it's possible they will not do so for others until they work on themselves. To do that requires action from them, not you. Don't take it personally, be polite, but I would distance myself from them if at all possible. Life is too short to be good to those who cannot muster a sincere thanks for a good deed or multiple ones. I would be happy that I was able to do something nice for another person and would continue doing so for others who can at least give a smile or a genuine thanks.

    1. Donald Ogba profile image75
      Donald Ogbaposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      In my opinion, the essence of 'community' is all about helping others. So, I want to go further by knowing how to steer others towards working on themselves for the better. Even when they can't smile at you or say thanks. Or am I asking for too much?

    2. Express10 profile image87
      Express10posted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Unfortunately, you just may be asking for too much. A fair number of people are not open minded or open to any new ideas or pursuits yet dislike the way their lives are going. Often, it is best to not offer help unless asked.

  3. favored profile image34
    favoredposted 4 years ago

    It's easy to be kind to a nice person, but there is no reward in that.  "Be kind one to another" isn't a suggestion from God, but a command.  We aren't responsible for someone else's actions, but our own.  You are not a fool for being kind.  There is a reason (cause behind their behavior) why they feel the way they do about themselves.  Until that root is dug up the person will always respond the same way.

    On the other hand because your actions are making them uncomfortable they are trying to get you to react negatively so you'll back off.  You can be kind to a person without getting too close emotionally.  Instead of being direct you may want to use a third neutral party as a mediator.

    1. Donald Ogba profile image75
      Donald Ogbaposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I bet being kind is ideal. But, how do you help them dig up the root of why they feel the way they do? I do agree with the idea of no emotional involvement. So, its the how for a person you aren't emotionally close to, yet, want to show kindness to.

  4. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 4 years ago

    Move on!
    "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
    - Oscar Wilde
    Clearly if someone berates you by calling you a "fool" for loving them they don't think you are anyone "special".
    You have to love (yourself) enough to find someone who will appreciate what you have to offer. By staying with someone who doesn't is proof that on some level you don't believe (you) deserved to be loved and cherished!
    Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
    There are over 7 Billion people on the planet. You have to figure out why you (chose) this person to give your heart to.
    You are responsible for your own happiness! You do that by being aware of the (chooses) and decisions you make for your life.

  5. arksys profile image90
    arksysposted 4 years ago

    1. tell them you've stood in their position before and know how it feels.
    2. let them think you are a fool. do the good and let them go ... they will realize the truth one day.

    1. Donald Ogba profile image75
      Donald Ogbaposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      More like how to do as opposed to don't do!

    2. arksys profile image90
      arksysposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Depends on the situation and personality type. Too hard to comment otherwise.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)