A combination of anger, pain from being hurt, and the bad memory or memories of what occurred makes it hard to forgive.
To forgive essentially means "letting go".
In other words a person has decided not to let the issue dwell in their minds or consume their thoughts any longer.
One of the reasons some people have a difficult time with forgiving is they believe if they do it's the same as giving a person a "free pass".
Another reason people have trouble forgiving is they assume it means you have to maintain a relationship with the person you forgive which is not the case.
Once you know the truth about someone it's on you to make the adjustment. "Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me!" If someone "forgives a debt" it means they've decided to no longer pursue payment. It does not mean they'll extend you another loan.
Lastly some people believe that "forgiving means forgetting". Anyone in my opinion who chooses to ignore "hurtful lessons" is likely to experience them again. One should always learn from their mistakes whether involves examining their criteria for selecting friends or mates. Ultimately we (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. We have to examine why we chose to put ourselves in a vulnerable position with that individual or put our trust in them.
Some people simply don't want to move on! They believe by harboring toxic feelings and thoughts that they are punishing the other person. However they are imprisoning their own minds.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself! It's freeing your mind to concentrate on other matters in your life.
It's a decision to move on with your life!
Saying sorry and forgiving others are complementary traits that seldom find place in someone's heart. Forgiving someone is something great. It reflects a pure and God fearing heart. To forgive someone depends on certain things. What is the benefit of forgiving? What if someone is not forgiven? Is there any authority whose fear can be a driving force to forgive? Is there any fear of punishment if others were not forgiven? If you think on these lines the questions will pop up in mind. To make it a simpler thing think that your Creator likes your attitude. For His sake one has to have a broad mind and a big heart.
Honestly speaking it is very easy to forgive provided the person requests to be pardoned. But the most difficult part is to forget. The mistake becomes a bias for future. A thousand rights will never correct one wrong is the principle that mind follows.
For example a person may have been good to you then you may forget the good the person did. But you will never forget an insult by the same person, a slap by the person or a cheating by the same person.
Thus in principle if a person requests to be forgiven we will do so wholeheartedly but we will never forget.
That is why wise men always request not just to forgive but to forget as well.
by funnydbzchick 8 years ago
Do you think revenge is bliss or is it better to forgive and forget if the situation is bad enough?
by deergha 5 years ago
Forget or forgive - which is easier for you and why ?
by Smikle 7 years ago
how hard is it to truly forgive and forget what someone who you love hurts you? forgiveness iseasy,when we jus say am sorry without affection or meaning it, doing this the hurt still lingers and it becomes hard for you to move away from the hurt that youv'e been cause by that person. so how do we...
by pgrundy 9 years ago
I'm always kinda shocked by how aggressive and nasty the forums can get, especially the religion ones. Some people who post here (no names but I bet you know who you are) seem to come here just to rude and aggressive, it doesn't even matter what the topic is.Do you think people would act this way...
by Lori Dudley 2 years ago
Why is it so hard to forgive?Out of all of the qualities of a person, the hardest thing to do seems to be to forgive. A person may have said or done something to us that seems so unforgivable and we choose to keep this view even though it eats us alive from the inside out. Why is that? How can we...
by maestrowhit 10 years ago
If you were God, and had the power to forgive or condemn whomever you chose, would you let people go to Hell? Would there be a single person you would not forgive?If your answer is yes, then who would that be? and why?
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