Interesting typo MEN -> MEAN.
Perhaps an indicator or your emotions on this.
People in general cheat for a variety of reasons. The most common is uncertainty about the relationship they're in; specifically, not knowing whether they want to continue it.
It's often a perfect storm of not feeling satisfied in a relationship, the partner not meeting certain expectations, and the opportunity to cheat presenting itself. If you have an unhappy, unstable relationship and an interested third party shows up... well, some people jump on the opportunity. To some people it presents itself as an easy fix, they can explore other options without making any big decisions regarding their relationship. Unfortunately it's only a fix for them and it's only temporary. More often than not it just further complicates things and hurts the person being cheated on MUCH more than an honest conversation would have.
People cheat because they don't want to breakup or get divorced. Most cheaters aren't looking to replace one relationship with another.
The goal of any cheater is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side.
Instead of being content with the 80/20 rule where one acknowledges their mate can't give them "everything" they want; a cheater attempts get the remainder on the side. There are 3 basic types of cheaters.
1. The Incessant Cheater - (Most likely has never been faithful long-term) Their motto is "Variety is the spice of life!" They become bored easily, love to flirt and use sexual innuendo with strangers. Oftentimes they're charming, good looking, smooth talking, and clamor to be the center of attention. They love "new adventures".
2. The Unbelievable Opportunity Cheater - Unlike the incessant cheater this guy is not on the look out for a "new thrill". Instead he may have a crush on someone and was content to "lust in his heart". However an opportunity arose where this individual made them self available or she was considered "out of league" but tonight she's flirting with him. This might occur on a business trip. Odds are high his mate/spouse will never find out. Of the 3 types of cheaters this is the one who may end up confessing weeks, months, or years later if they have a wonderful woman. The guilt eats at them overtime.
3. The Discontented Cheater - He has justified his cheating actions based upon his mate/spouse's behavior or treatment of him. Maybe she stopped having sex as much or no longer does certain things in the bedroom he likes, she nags and complains but never compliments him, she takes him for granted, she let her body go and stopped trying to look nice...etc
It doesn't take much for stranger to put a smile on the face and in the heart of an unhappy person. Some compliments or flirtation behavior is likely to make this guy want to be with her more.
However at the end of the day "Why" is never really important. In fact it's simply a "reflex" or "rhetorical" question a betrayed person asks.
In their mind there is NO reason he could give that would "justify" him cheating! Essentially people don't really care about "why". It's not as if someone is going to say; "Oh, I see why you did that now. Thanks for explaining it to me."
Each of us is entitled to have our own "deal breakers". If cheating is one of yours then you get out. It isn't you learn to look the other way I suppose.
They won't admit it, but most times it stems from insecurity, either in the relationship they have or in themselves! Most times they try to justify it with some kind of nonsense excuse but any man who is secure will either exit the relationship which makes them unhappy or will have the integrity to stay faithful!!!
the1dannyd, You'd be surprised how many men stay in unhappy marriages for financial reasons. A man looks at the cost of divorce, being a weekend dad, paying alimony/child support VS cheating & keeping everything! He doesn't think he'll be caught!
by optimus grimlock 8 years ago
If your with someone and dont want to be with them then dont. That simple dont cheat on them it makes things worse!!!
by swilliams 4 years ago
The Definition of Unattractive is: as follows: plain, ugly, unappealing, unpleasant, hideous, unlovely, unprepossessing, unsightly, ghastly, revolting, repellent, repulsive, repugnant.However, can this description describe the personality of women who knowingly cheat with married men?
by whisperingxwords 6 years ago
What is your opinion on cheating? Is it right or wrong to tell someone you've cheated on them?I'm watching Dr.Drew's Life Changers and it is a very interesting question.
by Lisa 5 years ago
Have you ever cheated on someone?I've never cheated but I've been cheated on (twice) and I was wondering, for those who are willing to share, why did you cheat? Or, if you were the one cheated on, do you know why they did it?
by maddot 15 months ago
Why do Christians feel the need to tell us about their religious beliefs?I don't have a problem with Christianity or any religion for that matter, but I view religion/spirituality as a personal and privvate matter and feel that it's best kept that way unless one is specifically asked to expand on...
by Carolee Samuda 2 years ago
How do you fix a relationship whose trust has been broken by infidelity?
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