Is it possible to change cheating habits?
Once a cheater, always a cheater? Do you agree with this statement? Do you think people can truly change?
Any leopard can change their spots --- but they must first truly want to change and be disciplined to make those changes. One CAN change themselves!
I guess you can but you need tremendous will-power and determination because habits are hard to break. A cheat should not be always a cheat but he/she must be willing to change.
Very interesting question. If you meant cheating in a relationship, I know few cases where people really changed. If you like to read the testimonies of people who really changed, read my hub about this.
http://emdi.hubpages.com/hub/How-to-sav … infidelity
I believe people can change, if they want to. Life is all about second chances, right? if you're in a relationship with someone who did cheat, or you cheated yourself, isn't it right to have the second chance? I believe in redemption.
I've heard that if you do something for a month it'll become a habit. So i guess if the person persists from his/hers bad habits for month the new habits will gradually take
It does not matter what the adage is......
It matters only if the offender , " cheater", wishes to change.
If they so desire, then they can..........if they do not truly wish to change, there IS an adage to hide behind....
A leopard can not change his spots.
Is the 'cheater', a leopard?
Of course, people change. The habit of cheating will not remain in somebody's system when he is willing to quit or get rid of it from his system.
Once a cheater always a cheater. This is a tough one because its hard to say. I think that it takes a very strong person to change and go from being a cheater to not being a cheater. The reason I say this is because cheaters dont tend to tell themselves NO and there are no boundaries so to go from cheating to being faithful and tell oneself NO will take some serious discipline. I dont see it as being impossible but I feel that cheaters will always feel they are missing out on something because the reason people cheat mainly is the thrill and having something they never had. It will take a major event to change a cheater in my opinion because the nature of a cheater is to cheat until they get caught. I have female friends that cheat on their spouses and they are so smooth with cheating they have never been caught and they dont plan on stopping because they have never felt the consequences of their actions so until they are caught I believe that all cheaters will continue to cheat because its in them to cheat. I was told by my aunt that cheating and being with more than one person is in my blood and if I found myself fighting against myself to fight this off then that was my issue. I found myself struggling with this for awhile but I think that if a person truly wants to change and control it change is always possible but not easily attainable.
People CAN change, but they never actually do. If you're talking about someone who cheated once, perhaps if there were unique circumstances that contributed to the slip that are unlikely to be repeated, it's possible that they won't repeat the offense. But if you're talking about someone who cheated as a matter of course, I'm very skeptical. It's possible, but extremely unlikely, and in my opinion, not worth trying. If you're the wronged party, you deserve better.
I wrote a hub on a similar topic, that brings up some related issues. Feel free to check it out: http://jgoul.hubpages.com/hub/If-You-Ch … nt-Confess
I wasn't going to answer but I will.......I agree with one good women. People have these catch phrases or come up with them and start living and believing them instead of "Living" and "Believing" what's possible. Then again at the end of the day I guess these phrases aka adage's are great for those that always need an excuse
change is possible. no matter what the tendency may be. There is always an opposite options to choice either or. cheating is NOT an addiction. people say "ONCE A CHEATer ALWAYS A CHEATer" I don't believe in this by any means. There are many reason people tend to cheat and it's almost never about having multiple partner. Yet, almsot always about that person not knowing themselves enough. subcounsiouly the cheater searching for things they claim they are not reciveing from the mate unaware the searching can only be gotten from within. it's based upon growing,knowing exactly who you are and what you want.
Does a cheater really want to change? I think, it depends on what he's going to lose.
Once a cheater, always a cheater? Once a smoker always a smoker? once a drinker always a drinker? once a liar always a liar, once over-weight always over-weight, once a shop lifter always a shop lifter - Of course not!
All human beings have the capcity to change (if they desire to).
People who say "once a blank always a blank" probably don't believe it either but they want to simply things. Having hard fast rules makes it easy for people to avoid drama in their life. They don't want to have look deeper into a situation. As tough as it may be to apologize for some people it's even harder for others to forgive.
Having said that each of is entitled to live our life according to our own rules!
For most folks, emotional and sexual cheating is like taking an addictive drug most often without even knowing it! I call it taking the "affair pill".
Over half of all married men and woman cheat sexually, despite significantly increased conservative values to the contrary. If fact, marital infidelity rates have more than doubled over the last 40 years.
As I've always told my clients, the best way to avoid cheating is to simply define it properly. Like crack cocaine there are short term pay offs for the user. The brain chemistry is actually very similar between cheating and using crack.
I've written a detailed and highly popular Hub recently, called: Why Defining an Affair is Its Best Definition.
For serious offending partners I would add that they take a relapse prevention approach to stopping their cheating behavior. For example, identifying high risk situations for cheating (online, at work etc in keeping with recent relationship science).
I advise that most couples need to develop a safety plan for what they will do instead, how they will cope with their high risk situations and as I said in my Hub - getting to their real partner fast instead of the affair partner, at those times.
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