Why does she feel threatened by his female friend?

1. 45

   DDEposted 10 years ago

   Why does she feel threatened by his female friend?
   
   She  does not like it when her husband talks to his female friend.  He feels pressured by her performances. Often when he speaks to his female friend she,  the wife,  comes along  looks  insecurely. Why does she feel this way? Does she  not trust her husband with his female friend?

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2. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   She may not trust his female friend.
   Possibly she suspects that his female friend has a crush on him! Women have been known to spot other women who had ulterior motives while their men were too blind to see it!
   There are both women and men who really don't like the fact that their mate or  spouse has friends of the opposite sex. Everyone is entitled to have their own preferences. However if his having a female friend was a "deal breaker" then she should not have married him! Maybe she thought overtime he'd dump his friend. It happens frequently.
   I suspect if she didn't like it while they were dating she may have also thought she could "adjust to the idea" over time for the sake of loving him and (keeping him happy). She may have even attempted to befriend this woman herself. Nevertheless it's against her true nature and she resents their friendship.
   This is not about the husband being right for having a female friend or the wife being wrong because she wishes he didn't. It's about agree versus disagree. Unfortunately for this woman she (chose) to marry a man who did not agree with her idea that (men and women can't be platonic friends).
   She should have been (true to herself) and chose a man who thought like her. There is nothing wrong with him or her. They just may be wrong for each other if this becomes a major problem.

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      DDEposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      You have  a broader  knowledge of relationships  and so  glad you have shared such a great answer. Thank you.

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      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      You're welcome!

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3. 63

   Lisa HWposted 10 years ago

   He (or "whoever") should be careful not to automatically assume that "looking insecurely" means she doesn't trust the husband and/or friend as far as any "affair type of stuff" goes...   She may not be happy about whatever she is seeing when he and his friend are together, but that doesn't necessarily mean she feels that her own relationship with him is threatened by the friend.
   
   Of course, there can be cultural differences with this type of situation; but generally, people choose their friends because they can relate to them in some way.  Whether or not they can relate to their spouse the same way can be a whole other thing.
   
   The husband (and again, "whoever else") should be careful not to do the demeaning thing of assuming that the wife is insecure about her own relationship with the husband.
   
   If it's only that she "looks insecurely" when it comes to that one friend (rather than when it comes to all women and/or co-workers), the husband ought to ask his wife if, in fact, she feels insecure when he's with the friend (and in the meantime, not run the risk of flattering himself by assuming the "insecure look" is about "potential affair-type concerns").
   
   If they have a decent relationship she'll be honest if she does feel insecure AND if she doesn't (and why) - and he'll respect whatever her reply to the question is and act accordingly.
   
   It's often said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  I tend to think something else that paves the road to"hell" is making up  what or how people think by making guesses about how they appear to be "looking" or acting.
   
   Also, though, she could well feel/be insecure if, say, the friend is also a co-worker in the same field as he; and while the last person he or the friend may ever be interested in may be the other there's the chance the wife feels insecure about, say, having little to contribute to the conversation.
   
   In other words, even if she really is insecure it may well be more about something completely unrelated to her feeling threatened by the friend and/or her husband's relationship with that friend (at least as far as "romantic jealousy" is concerned).

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      DDEposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting answer and informative. Threatened or jealousy is part of this problem thank you  for   sharing your thoughts here.

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   peachpurpleposted 10 years ago

   jealousy, maybe the female friend is prettier, younger or she looks as if trying to seduce her hubby. Many possibilities

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      DDEposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Very interesting many possibilities. Thank you.

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