I have always wondered how people cope with their significant other remaining very good friends with one of their exes? Thoughts?
You're so good! I really like your questions! Well, I'm a type of person that does not keep a grudge, meaning that after a while I will eventually talk to you and perhaps thing won't be the same as they were before, but deep don't you can't just stop loving someone from one minute to the other just because there's a divorce paper between you. I still care for him, we have dinner at my home with our kids but that's all! You can't just throw all those years away. In fact, we get along better now that we don't share the bedroom anymore!! Keep up the good work!
There is nothing wrong with friendship spec. if they have kids together. Let your partner know that it bothers you though!
I think one should be a little threatned by an ex, or one might be too comfortable in the relationship. I love my wife in sickeness and in health, but I do not ever want to be taken for granted (or for her to feel taken for granted).
I think it depends on the personality type of the person, really. For those who are more jealous or protective, it will be difficult to accept that one's significant other is good friends with their ex.
I think it also depends upon the level of trust which has been developed in the relationship.
I am sure that I would... why? Because I am a guy... we like to be territorial... it's human nature... it's why a dog can pee on every tree in the neighborhood. it doesn't make it right and I would put on my big boy pants and fake it real good... but I would struggle... there, I'm man enough to say it.
Your question is very thought provoking.
In my case the grudge is reversed. The ex is the one giving me attitude and doing stuff to annoy me. I tried to be friends with her but the only person she is interested in is my man. She would come to the gate and call him outside and I have to tell him that she is being very disrespectful. She hates me so I decided not to let her near him because I don't trust her. know he wouldn't cheat, but this is Jamaica, you can't trust women who are known to be involved in the dark arts. I wouldn't want her giving my man something to make him come to her.
Yikes, I wouldn't want to be enemies with anyone involved in the dark arts. Keep him away from that one!
I must agree with Cardisa. Often the ex's will let it be known that there is unfinished business or they are outright rude. These types will do anything and can't be trusted. Other times you may find a few that can be friendly and respectful but to me that's just strange. If they are an ex, it's because you didn't work out and both should move on. If there are children involved it's important for them to be amicable but I would not be getting into those types of relationships because I have and want no children.
Isn't it fun... feeding the insecurities of insecure exes?
No. If someone, EX or not can draw him away, then something about that situation is not right for me and my life either.
Ummm I guess a bit. Not insecure but my significant other would receive some sort of drama from me
Yes, I am definitely threatened by my partner's exes. This is largely because I plan to wait until marriage to have sex, and my partner has had secular relationships with other women in the past. Obviously, they have given him something I can't (yet), and this understandably makes me feel uncomfortable... It doesn't help that I am a very insecure individual
I'd love to meet my partner's exes. I am dying to ask them if they will take him back!!
I'm almost positive I have more exes than any of my exes, except maybe the last one. Exes are exes for a reason. If there was anything to feel threatened about, they wouldn't be exes now would they.
No, I'm friendly with some of my exes, so I don't begrude the same to my mate. I have had his ex-wife and his baby mama over at the same time. We play cards weekly with another ex of his. The fact that these women are exes says it all. On the other hand, if I sensed there was unfinished business between him and an ex, I'd probably not be as gracious.
As someone who remains good friends with an ex, I wouldn't be threatened by that alone. There's a reason people become "ex's", and the reason is often that they were great at being friends but not great at being in a relationship with "the person in question".
As someone who remains good friends with an ex, I wouldn't be threatened by that alone. There's a reason people become "ex's", and the reason is often that they were great at being friends but not great at being in a romantic and/or shared-life relationship with "the person in question".
no - to feeling threatened...sometimes you have to do some things you may not want to...but you do...when there's kids involved...ya do it for the kids...even when they are no longer around and you still connect with the ex because of the kids...till the day i die...ha ha ha
I have never felt threatened by an ex. But, I have been threatened by a former significant other for being attracted to his ex. This happened many years ago, but, I remember it like it was yesterday. We were at a Bar, and his ex came up to us and started talking, and being pretty friendly. And, after he left, I asked my partner who the hot guy was. And, he says. That was my ex. And, All I said was, wow he's a very nice looking guy.
Well, anyways, we had a little arguement about it. And, he said, don't you get any ideas in your head. You stay away from him. Well, that became quite impossible, because we ended up working together. So, one day when my partner came to visit, his ex and I were getting along great. And, he blew his stack.
Needles to say, we broke up that same day.
Guess who I am still friends with almost 27 years later, and the other is nowhere to be found. My ex.
We're pretty lucky. We don't have to deal with our exes. When we got together and later married, we both had cut everyone off by then. And, we don't run in the same circles with the people from our past, so there's no need to worry about things getting awkward. It would have been different if we had children by these people, but we don't. So we enjoy ourselves with no outside interference.
When a relationship is over, it's over. I certainly don't want to go down Memory Lane with anyone I used to date or was married to. It is better to move on and not look back.
I think it depends on your relationship with the significant other and how secure you feel in that -- and how secure he/she makes you feel in your current status together -- as well as the ex and his/her motives.
Personally, I don't like exes hanging around. That is why they are EXES.
No I wouldn't feel threatened by an ex! I think if you are confident in yourself and your relationship then there's really no reason to be jealous. However, there are instances where one could be jealous! Such as that ex trying to butt in person affairs, overly calling, or whater...then I would sort of watch out... but jealous...NO!!!!
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by dianne1436 years ago
what was your experiences cos i am not in good terms with my ex. And if ever I see him I would run away so he won't see me cos I don't want.
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