Ladies; Do you believe there are guys who are "too good looking" for you to date? If so, why?
A recent hub was posted where the writer listed reasons why some of her past relationships had not worked out. Among the reasons she stated was "the guy was too good looking".
Is there such a thing? Is it an issue of insecurity/fear of possible competition from other women? Or is there a concern he may be too "into himself" to be available emotionally. Are "good looking guys" ever typecast or ruled out by women because they look "too good"? Would it bother you if people felt your guy was more attractive than you?
Personally, I love good looking men. My experience is that handsome men generally have better social skills than men who are not good looking. But whether the man is handsome or not, I look beyond that. If he doesn't know how to treat a lady, forget it. If he is kind and sincere, I'm good to go.
That being said, maybe some women don't feel "pretty" enough to date a good looking man. Honestly, I don't know, so I guess I'm not much help here when all is said and done..
Truth be told, I secretly believe I'm better looking than I really am (Lol) so that issue of whether I'm good looking enough doesn't concern me. But then, that's my thing.....encouraging all women to feel beautiful.
I honestly can't think of one time I thought "wow, that guy is way hotter than his girlfriend" whereas I've seen the opposite be true many times! I think it's seen as okay/normal for girls to date guys that aren't on the same 'level' of attractiveness, but it doesn't seem to be as accepted the other way around. I'm not sure if that's because of guys not wanting to date girls less attractive than them or because girls feel more self-conscious about dating guys that could be perceived as more attractive than them.
Personally when I was dating it didn't really cross my mind - if I was into a guy that I thought was really good looking and he was into me then I figured I must be good looking enough at least by his standards...which is really all that matters, ultimately. I was with a guy who got A LOT a lot of female attention and it didn't bother me as much as thought it might. It also wasn't a terribly serious relationship, either, so who knows how I would've felt at that point. I think if you're comfortable with yourself and trust the person you're with then it's nothing to worry about, however.
I regularly get teased about the male celebrities that I find attractive because I have "unique" taste. One person's idea of good looking could be quite different from another's. So I don't think it's like, a universal problem for good looking guys (or girls).
I've never felt that way but I do understand why other girls and women may. This is because there are a variety of problems caused by the actions of others outside your relationship and possibly even by your extremely good looking mate by responding to them positively. I don't think his positive response is a problem, it shows you what you need to know about the state of your relationship & lets you know where you stand. Another reason people may feel someone's too good looking to date is that while beauty is attractive it also attracts drama and nonsense again, from outside the relationship.
If both parties in the relationship keep this in mind you will steer clear of drama: when it comes to those who are throwing themselves at you, people "throw" away garbage & things of little to no value. Stay away from them, interacting with folks who do this is sure to bring you stress and nonsense. That behavior is repulsive, not attractive and is disrespectful to the target of their nonsense. I wrote a hub about steering clear of people who throw themselves at you a long time ago. It may be helpful to read it for better understanding in a variety of situations.
I think extremely good looking men go out with extremely good looking women because they can get them. And vice versa. While personality counts a lot more, the attraction has to be there. It doesn't how awesome you are if you're ugly. No guy is going to look past that. However, good looking women do go out with ugly men because a. women care more personality than men, and b. these men might have a lot of money or power. But you'll never see a good looking man with an average looking women. Ever. I'd say that if a man is very good looking, I'd definitely consider him out of my league and not even bother. I'd rule him out. You can't compete with a model. You just can't. So don't bother to try.
Dashingscorpio,
I dated a guy that was too good looking once. He was one of those types that just walks in and takes over every situation he comes across. Always bigger than life. He came into a school where I was taking modeling and finishing classes and just popped up on the runway after being there for less than five minutes. He would wear some special pieces of jewelry I had at the time. I couldn't take it after awhile.
Lisa
I can't imagine that being a "thing"! It seems so silly to blame a mans attractiveness on why a relationship does not work. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, what I find to be attractive is not necessarily what another woman is attracted to. Of others find your boyfriend attractive, it does not mean that makes him unworthy of dating, nor would it be the cause of a relationship ending. I would think that perhaps a woman's own self consciousness, lack of confidence and jealousy would be the root of the problem. I see nothing wrong with a guy that is into himself - and I don't see how that would effect his ability to commit. My fiancé whom I find extremely attractive, could be accused of being "into himself" he takes care of his appearance and his body, 4 years together and a son and he gas no fear of commitment. I just personally feel saying someone is to attractive is merely a way to avoid the real issues that caused the relationship to end. Though if you knowingly attempt a relationship with a good looking "player" well then the ended relationship should not be a surprise.
Because of my warped experience on this matter, I can only answer from an observant point of view. Though good looking men are notorious for being egotistical, past a certain point, some realize they're being used, so they appreciate a woman who values them for who they truly are. I read a great story about Esther Williams doing a screen test in which she had to kiss Clark Gable in front of his wife, Carole Lombard. She was nervous as all get-out, and they got a good laugh out of it!
About my warped experience, I have recently become popular with boys at snowboard camp, because I flirt with them, rather than try to find someone. A good-looking 15 year old asked me out on a date once! And I got to dance with snowboarding pros half my age!
Beauty, ultimately, is just gift wrap. It's what's inside that counts.
You flirt with teenagers? Are you out of your mind?!!! Very inappropriate! I wonder what their mothers would say.
Nothing bad has come of it yet. In fact, the camp owners love it. They told the best friend of a pro I was the person to be seen with. Don't worry, I do nothing illegal!
I have heard stories, where girls decided not to go out with a guy, because she felt she don't measure up to him. HA HA HA, this is so funny, we guys, are totally different, we are always going for those girls that is out of our league, probably because, if we got it, it felt like we got some kind of trophy doing the impossible.
As a guy, I am going to give all the girls reading this post, a piece of advice. Never think a guy, is too good for you and back out. I mean think of it this way, guys and girls are very different, girls naturally, want a guy that is more successful then her, it is evolution. Guys, on the other hand, it is the opposite way around, if a girl is too successful in comparison to her, he get intimidated, but they don't care otherwise, even if a girl is a looser. This is why, you see in celebrities dating nobodies. It is just about always when the husband is a celebrity and the wife is a nobody, when the relationship work out, when the wife is the celebrity and the husband is a nobody, 90% of the time, the relationship would crash and burn and when it do work out, it is usually because, they been married, long before she become successful (and even then, lots of marriage cannot survive the wife's success and ended up in divorce.) But if the husband is successful and the wife is a nobody, it usually won't cause a problem. For example, one of the formal President of Taiwan in the 1970s (who is also the son of the late President Chan Kai-Shek), his wife, is a cold war refugee from the Soviet Union, who didn't even graduated from primary school.
Also, women who bail out of relationship, because they felt a guy is too good for him, are more likely to ended up in abusive relationship, because they always felt decent guys are too good for him.
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by Steve Mitchell 9 years ago
Does your partner look too goodwould you ever tell your spouse or partner that you didn't like something they were trying on in a shop because you were scared it could make them look more attractive to the opposite sex and therefore disuade them from buying it ?
by moneymaters 14 years ago
I'd go for an ugly guy if I liked his brain.I find good looking guys are often a turn off because they know it.
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