Will marriage ever last anymore?
Hi, I'm Mr. KAye Pee 8che, a separated almost divorcée, coming from a beautiful beautiful mess of a marriage. A 19 year affair that was the highlight of my existence. She was the Ying to my Yang, the Bonnie to this Clyde. From Sweet Wild tends till almost 20 years later. You would've thought it would be forever right? Yeah I thought so too. We helped each other rebuild each other. She gained more status and more degrees while I was taking the foot soldier route, working any and every job I could while working my way back to my degree course. And one day it happened, I wasn't enough anymore!!????
Reality check time.
In order for her to have been "the one" she would have had to see you as being "the one". At the very least a "soul-mate" is someone who actually wants to be with you!
The top three reasons for divorce:
1. Choosing the wrong mate for oneself.
2. Getting married for the wrong reasons
3. They no longer want the same things/grow apart
Communication is the "GPS" for relationships which lets you know whether you're "growing together" or "growing apart".
You said; "And one day it happened."
However odds are there were "signs" she was no longer madly in love with you which (you ignored) or assumed was "normal".
Before most people physically distance themselves from another they usually distance themselves mentally and emotionally.
It's highly unlikely to hear of someone making passionate love the night before, having breakfast in bed, and suddenly telling their spouse they want a divorce. You weren't "blindsided" you were just "blind" and ignored the flames of trouble. We see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe. I'm sure if she gave her version of events it would differ from yours.
The first step in moving on is acceptance that it's over.
She is going on with her life. Yes it's normal to grieve the loss but don't fall into a lifelong "pity party" trap. Romanticizing the past keeps you stuck. You can't get to second base if you insist on keeping one foot on first base. Your future lies ahead of you not behind you.
Nurture and love yourself. Get into physical shape, rediscover hobbies and other interests you may have neglected over the years, do some traveling, join some of the hobby interest groups on Meetup.com, focus on your career, and eventually start dating.
This is but one chapter in your book of life. Have the courage to turn to the next chapter. Every ending is a new beginning!
The world may not owe you anything but you owe yourself the world!
Damn dashingscorpio you're right.! I just loved her so much but when I look back there were warning signs. Just hard to move on because I thought she was my soulmate and still do....I'm just lost in love right now!
Kaye Pee 8che you are going to be alright! Allow yourself to grieve (while you take steps to move on). There are over 7 Billion people on the planet! Odds are there are (women) who would love and appreciate a man like you.
This storm will pass.
You know, this may sound like hindsight, but EVERYONE should go into a marriage not with LUST in mind,but with an agreement upon the Word of God. If people would take a pre-martial course and "Get on one Accord" in agreement with what the Scriptures say regarding marriage BEFORE marriage, the divorce rate would be much lower!
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by dashingscorpio 12 months ago
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