Should the “emotionally divorced” be counted among “married couples”?

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  1. dashingscorpio profile image82
    dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

    Should the “emotionally divorced” be counted among “married couples”?

    The “divorce rate” is around 50%. Presumably this count does NOT include couples that live in separate quarters of the house, “sexless marriages”, and couples who have lived apart for years without either party filing for divorce. How high would the “true divorce rate” be if we counted the “emotionally divorced”?

  2. prairieprincess profile image92
    prairieprincessposted 12 years ago

    There's a big difference between going through a rough patch in a marriage, and ending it legally, financially, and emotionally. Even if couples don't feel close, they still share a home, a bank account (usually) and a life. Breaking all of that up can be devastating, and does not necessarily solve the problems.

    I agree that emotional distance in a marriage might feel like there isn't a marriage, but the possibility is still there. Once a divorce goes through, the separation is much more permanent.

  3. dashingscorpio profile image82
    dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

    Actually I'm speaking of marriages where this is (a way of life).
    I know of one couple who have lived apart for (15 years). They get together for family gatherings and attend each other's company social events, discuss bills and health insurance, no sex....etc
    Another "couple" has been apart for 23 years! One lives in California and the other in Florida. Over the years they've dated other people and have at times lived with other people. They have separate finances and have almost no contact with one another except through a grown daughter. Clearly neither one of these situations could be described as a "rough patch". lol
    It just makes me wonder how many more "marriages" are in (name only) and are being counted in the percentage of "successful marriages".
    I believe divorce is more than a piece of paper. It's a state of mind and a way of life. Just because two people never bothered to file for a divorce may make them "leagally married" but they aren't "married in their hearts" and counting them as married in many ways skews statistics. Divorce is thought of in terms of a "failed marriage" Does never filing for divorce mean a marriage is successful?
    What is the (real percentage) of "happily married" couples? hmmmm Just a thought.

  4. lone77star profile image73
    lone77starposted 12 years ago

    Count them amongst married couples? Yes, of course. They're still married.

    It's like pregnancy. You can't be half-pregnant. Either you are or you aren't.

    Half-divorced doesn't exist either. Kick the couch-potato in the butt (you or the other party) and do something about it. Preferably, get your lives back together and on track. Heal old wounds. Stop being evil or whatever. Take responsibility. Forgive. Be generous. Show love -- unconditional and unending.

    The percentage of "happily married" could increase if both parties worked at the marriage and communicated openly. But alas, some people find such honesty too threatening.

  5. dilyana1976 profile image52
    dilyana1976posted 12 years ago

    "Everything is relative." So the sentence "The 'divorce rate' is around 50%." ought to be extended: "The 'divorce rate' on paper is ... ". But it's clear that the statement means 'on paper'. Definitely 'true divorce rate' is higher - 80% or sth.

  6. juiwei2000 profile image57
    juiwei2000posted 12 years ago

    It doesn't count as a divorce, because they are still in a comitted relatioship.

  7. onegoodwoman profile image69
    onegoodwomanposted 12 years ago

    "emotionally divorced"..........quite frankly, it seems that those who use this term are looking for an excuse to be " unmarried"

    either you are committed through good times and bad " married", or you are not.

    Marriage is not, all about, wild wicked sex, good times, living high on the hog............sometimes, you find yourselves at a discord, with sick children or wayward ones, aging parents, or yourself with an ill partner who demands all of your possible energy............and it is your sole purpose to pull up one more sunrise..........MARRIAGE is hard work!

    No Glory

    No sacrifice................NO partner

    Married people are bound by SOMETHING, even when it is not on display for others.

  8. Xenonlit profile image60
    Xenonlitposted 12 years ago

    Absolutely! They made to vows and did not unmake them. They also get benefits and tax breaks that they would lose when divorced.

    I have no clue as to what "emotionally divorced" is, but there is a thing called filing for legal separation. This gives an official standing for each party.

    Otherwise, the emotional divorce business is like saying a person is excused because he or she is "emotionally divorced" from the law, creditors and any other legal and moral obligations.

    Society should not, as a whole, waste any time on the poorly defined personal problems of dysfunctional couples.

    1. dashingscorpio profile image82
      dashingscorpioposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      The "emotionally divorced" are couples who are married in name only. I know of couples where one person lives in the basement and the other upstairs. They do their own thing. Marriage is more than a piece of paper. But that's all some have!

    2. Xenonlit profile image60
      Xenonlitposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      My point is that there are tax breaks and medical benefits that come from VA,Military dependent benefits, Social Security, civilian Workplace benefits and more. This constitutes a kind of fraud when we consider the money these people are getting.

    3. dashingscorpio profile image82
      dashingscorpioposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Xenolit, It's funny you should mention the legal benefits of marriage. I recently published a hub related to this. … itpossible


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