My husband wants me to quit my job so he can become the sole provider, what do I

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  1. woahthere profile image64
    woahthereposted 9 years ago

    My husband wants me to quit my job so he can become the sole provider, what do I do?

    Why do males always have to be the boss all the time? A friend asked  me this question and I wanted another opinion , what do you think?

  2. CuAllaidh profile image78
    CuAllaidhposted 9 years ago

    Tell him it's not the 1950's anymore... that is if you want to keep working. Males do NOT have to be the boss all the time, nor should females... any relationship should be a partnership and all such important decisions should be a decision where both partners get input, but ultimately if you want to keep working that's your call not his.

    1. ChristinS profile image41
      ChristinSposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Absolutely.  I'd be wary of anyone - male or female, who wanted to micromanage the affairs of their partner.

  3. profile image0
    Stargrrlposted 9 years ago

    If you don't want that, tell him no!  I sometimes think it would be awesome if I were married and didn't have to work...but that is just me.  If you feel you need to have a career, then keep your job!  Don't sell out for your husband.  That sounds a bit controlling.  Does he want you to depend on him all the time?  Does he need you to submit to him?  That wouldn't work for me.  I can see if your job made you unhappy or something, but if he just wants to be the breadwinner, in, don't do it.  Not unless you want to.

  4. Nastya Bronnikova profile image60
    Nastya Bronnikovaposted 9 years ago

    Yeah, it definitely sounds like a bad idea. Might have been worth considering if he had some strong arguments on why it would be benefitial for both of you, but him simply wanting to be the one with all the money doesn't count as such. If you enjoy or at least don't mind your job, I'd recommend not caving in. And even if you're okay with being stay-at-home, it's still worth thinking the whole thing through: what if your husband's controlling behavior gets worse after you become financially dependent on him?

  5. peachpurple profile image82
    peachpurpleposted 9 years ago

    actually,it is best not to follow what he wants. Because he will become the big boss and wants you to OBEY all his commands. That is what my hubby did to me.

  6. pagesvoice profile image74
    pagesvoiceposted 9 years ago

    I would tell the person to follow their heart and do what they feel is best for them. It isn't a good sign when one person in a relationship attempts to take on the dominate role. Little by little a person will begin to lose their identity and instead will just be an extension of the controlling party. The next phase could be monitoring how long trips to the doctor's office or grocery store take. Questions could arise over why the stay at home person is attired a certain way if they are just staying home. In other words, relationships should involve a mutual respect. My wife and I have a plaque that reads, "Love, Honor and Negotiate," and I believe in every one of those words.

  7. DDE profile image46
    DDEposted 9 years ago

    Times have changed!  Discuss what you enjoy doing and quitting is not the answer.

  8. M. T. Dremer profile image85
    M. T. Dremerposted 9 years ago

    I guess it depends on WHY he wants his wife to quit her job. Is it because he wants to feel like a big man bringing home the money, or is it because his wife hates her job and it's making her unhappy? My wife frequently tells me to quit my job because of how awful it is. So, there are instances where a spouse might advocate quitting, without it being a statement about gender roles. However, if his reasoning is just because that's the way things have always been, then she should keep the job and tell him to deal with it.

  9. dashingscorpio profile image79
    dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

    It's rare these days than any husband wants less money coming into the household. Unless you have small children and deep down (you) long to be a "stay at home mother" there is no reason cut the household income.
    For all you know he could get laid off in the next six months!
    Traditionally men were assigned the task of being the head of the household, family, and main breadwinner. Even in the fairytales the prince or the knight sweeps the damsel of distress off her feet and she never has to worry about anything for the rest of her life.
    Believe it or not there are still some women who LOVE to have a husband tell them they don't have to work!
    Ideally you would have had discussions prior to marriage which would have illustrated that you're not the type of woman who wants to spend her days watching daytime TV  and creating dinner menus for the week or cleaning house while waiting for him to come home.
    Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
    Some women are naturally drawn towards "take charge" men because it makes them feel safer and secure. Others want a man who treats them like an equal partner. And still other women have no issue with being the breadwinner if the man takes care of the household and children.
    There are all types of men out there. A woman just needs to know what kind of man (she) wants before she chooses to marry one.

    1. profile image50
      VibrantVirgoposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      My husband said I could quit my job while I'm pregnant then when I did he flakes on giving me the money I need to survive! He "forgot" to send me money I need for food and gas in my car which he promised he'd send me while he's deployed...idk why.


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