Is your significant other similar to you, or are you complete opposites?
Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!
My wife and I are very similar. Unless one enjoys arguments and fights I can't imagine choosing someone who was (naturally) on a different page. The older you get the less drama you want in life.
The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
Studies found couples who naturally agree on the important things in life tend to be happier and stay together. Who knew?!
My wife - of fifty-five years - and I are very different. We have different interests, different temperaments and our life philosophies are, I suspect, quite different. Yet I'm sure we've been put together and stay together for many reasons other than one another's company.
I'm inclined to believe that we 'choose' to live in a human body, rather than we are some sort of 'accident' or anomaly of life. So, with that sort of belief comes the ensuing questions: What am I? Who am I? Did I exist somewhere before I was born? Will I exist when my body is no longer habitable and it breathes its final breath? And that question very popular today, 'What is my life purpose?'
If I am right - and I claim no certainty in this - then the general purpose (as distinct from a particular, personal purpose) of we humans could be to develop skills and talents, qualities and values. With this in mind I pick a particular life style and way of looking at things. Oh, and I do believe in Reincarnation. I don't believe in a 'throw of the dice' when it comes to inherent talents and the like. But to get back...
My wife is much more into personal relationships with family, friends, and helping people in practicable ways. She is the typical loving mother, and loving grandmother. She's a natural mixer. I'm more for solitude - though, I do like to mix on occasion.
Both of these viewpoints are of equal merit, I expect. But I am who I am and she is who she is. We are very opposite in many ways. But it is from these differences that we gain our abilities such as tolerance. We are helping one another to 'grow' in a spiritual sense.
I truly believe if my Better Half had spent much time with me in school she and I would probably be in significant and direct opposition to each other. It probably would have prevented any chance at romance...
Before I matured significantly I was a bit of a "terror-idiot" that was disruptive of school order and quite antagonistic to anyone accepting of this law and order of our school system. For me it started a "wee bit" early, I got caught smoking in 3rd grade and I believe I scared many girls away from any type of relations because of the myriad of misconduct and my focus on ice hockey playing for our city's "travel team." My interest was elsewhere...
Academics were 3rd string to both hockey and laughter well into my 11th grade. Since we had 13th grade before university I had enough time to focus half way through 11th grade and salvage my grades. I did end up ranked 8th in my graduating class of about 200. Thus, perhaps if I and Kate had met and lived in the same country towards the end of 11th grade I would have had opportunity.
None-the-less, although indeed we met when I was 17 and she was 16, I was blessed with being in a different country and an approximate distance of 1500 miles between us. Thus I could insulate her from my rebel without a cause focus and obsession with ice hockey. My Better Half was focused on academics and excelled in the law & order business of high school during her entire secondary school years. While I would suffer multiple suspensions for hitting a male teacher and squeezing a male student prefect in a friend's locker.
Since after we met I had this significant insulation between us I was able to paint an altruistic picture of myself and hide my true-nature until I could shape-up to her idea of me; and I did (well, mostly). I still possess a significant hockey-habit and although I am a senior professor and psychologist I still hung onto my rebel nature well into my college years. Some evidence of this was throwing a pie at our Statistics professor while wearing a rubber mask and overalls to hide my identity. Sawing off the Engineer School's working cannon barrel and ransoming it for a Cystic Fibrosis donation of $100 before it's safe return.
Now to finish answering your question, we began as opposite polarities yet we both changed/partially modified because we truly loved what we discerned about each other. I even converted to her faith because I wanted our children to grow up like her. We have significant differences and some of our friends reflect this; however, our love forges us as one most significantly.
We are neither. I think a combination is always good. There are some things that my boyfriend and I have in common: our sense of humor, our taste in music, the love of travel. There are also things where we are complete opposites such as: our communication techniques and our love languages.
At first the communication was a barrier that caused us to have plenty of petty arguments but over time we have gotten used to how the other communicates and we can tell one another important things or our needs without starting a fight... usually.
We also have many similar movie and book tastes besides the fact that I don't like war movies and he doesn't love fairytales.
Our differences give us our alone time and our similarities keep us laughing together which is very important in our relationship.
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