jump to last post 1-5 of 5 discussions (5 posts)

Why is it that women seem to love their children more than their husband?

  1. davidkaluge profile image64
    davidkalugeposted 2 years ago

    Why is it that women seem to love their children more than their husband?

    I often wonder why woman seem to place more interest and love on their children than their husband. For instance, in the movie sleepy hollow where Katrina had to go back and attempt killing her husband because of their son. It shows that most woman place more value of their children.

  2. Amanda108 profile image91
    Amanda108posted 2 years ago

    I think there are many women who would consider their love of their husband equal to that of their children, but in an "apples and oranges" way - different types of love, so much so they can't be compared.

    That said, yes, it's frequent for women to love their children more than their partner. It's also common (and in my opinion, how it's supposed to work) for a parent (whether mother or father) to place more value on the children, which is different though intertwined with love. I guess I'll address the latter first.

    While you dearly love your partner and chose to spend your life together, a husband is a grown man who can (generally, unless something terrible happens) care for himself. Whereas children are the parents' absolute responsibility. You *owe* your children love and value and care by choosing to become their parent, be that through adoption or biologically. Biology is also a big factor: the child is someone that the mother (and father) created in many cases. Creating sure beats falling in love! Though - back to the "love" issue - that's also a major role in all this: your child is half your romantic love's, even if not biologically (you still took on the parenthood role together, the child will still develop from his nurturing, and so on). It's like double the love, for the child as an individual and for the connection to the husband!

    Furthermore, we're also biologically driven to protect and nurture children. They are our future, if you'll forgive the cliched expression. From a religious perspective, children are one of God's greatest gifts. Psychologically we see children as innocent and are often easily capable of seeing them in a softer light, or holding onto more patience with them, than with other adults around us. This may very well be because children often are not innocent little angels and we would otherwise be driven nuts by them! ;-)

    Anyway, I'd like to add that I don't think a child (at least a grown one) should automatically come before the husband. All relationships should be valued. If, for example, a grown "child" were to intentionally and cruelly pose a danger to a woman's husband, I would expect her to side with her partner.

    But ultimately there are so many factors beyond emotion (I'll let someone explain that amazing bond and jump into that depth) that cause women to love their children more: biological, psychological, spiritual, evolutionary instinct, and so on.

  3. vink21778 profile image70
    vink21778posted 2 years ago

    Hey davidkaluge,
                         I will not take your much time.There might be some reasons.
    1.You are no more interesting now.
    2.You are less loyal to her.
    3.You do not listen to her advise but your children do.
    4.You are less romantic now.You do not ask her for a date,for the movies                                                                             
    and still if you want perfect answer Ask the same question to your mother I am sure that she can explain it better.

  4. Besarien profile image88
    Besarienposted 2 years ago

    This sounds like it might be of personal interest to many. If you find yourself married with kids and starving for romantic love, arrange for the grandparents or good family friends with kids to watch little ones while you treat her to a weekend getaway. It will give you both a chance renew and revitalize your relationship. Try to do this at least every couple of months.

  5. dashingscorpio profile image87
    dashingscorpioposted 2 years ago

    Throughout nature I believe you can witness this scenario even within the animal kingdom. The mother keeps her "cubs" close to her while the father is practically an outsider. 
    In fact for most husbands the minute they have children they're automatically (demoted) in their wives minds and hearts.
    The bond developed between a mother and infant during the months of having the child develop within her body is a connection no father can ever have with the child. The father provided the seed.
    It takes a special woman to balance the importance of her marriage with that of motherhood. And yet (if she doesn't choose to find a balance) the marriage usually runs the risk of infidelity or the couple silently grows apart until they have an "empty nest" and realize there is nothing left between them.
    It's easier to maintain a fire than it is to reignite a spark!
    Men on the other tend to view children as "offspring" of the marriage.
    In fact if a woman were having a difficult pregnancy and doctors could only save the mother or the baby... the vast majority of husbands would choose to save their wives in a heartbeat!
    On the other hand if a wife had a cat or dog prior to meeting her husband and it turned out he was allergic to it he'd have to learn to deal with it or move on. smile
    Having said that men have also been known to walk away from their children when a marriage ends. It's as if they view the children as only being an (extension of the mother).
    They want nothing to do with (her) and therefore want nothing to do with "her children". If they love the mother they love the child.
    It's important for men to remember they have a responsibility to help raise their children whether get along with their mother or not. Divorce is no excuse for withdrawing their responsibilities.