Is time for us to renounce monogamy?

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   Jonas Rodrigoposted 10 years ago

   Is time for us to renounce monogamy?
   
   One time, when I was watching a true-to-life story of a man who cheated on his wife, I had a moment of epiphany and thought, “Many love stories are ruined by third parties. Does this mean that life would be happier if we were polygamists?” I recall my friend saying my line of thinking was absurd.

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2. 59

   NiaLeeposted 10 years ago

   That is exactly what the world is trying to convince us of…let's just drop in bed with everybody, everywhere… STDs, relationship issues, un stable low self esteem children, etc… I don't believe in that and Polygamy should be with polygyny to be fair… imagine multiplying your relationship issues by the number of relationships you have?

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      Jonas Rodrigoposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I guess that's one way of looking at it. Thanks for the insight, NiaLee.

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3. 84

   M. T. Dremerposted 10 years ago

   So long as humans can feel jealousy and betrayal, polygamy won't work. I'm sure there are a few exceptions, where they claim to be okay with it, but overall it causes more harm than good.

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      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I agree!
      Falling  "in love" creates the desire to be monogamous .
      This causes them to feel (jealousy) and enough (possessiveness) in relationships where they don't want to "share" their mate with anyone else!
      The desire for monogamy staying.

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      Jonas Rodrigoposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      The root of all our problems seem to come from abstract concepts like "love" and "jealousy." Humans have made them material objects, though. Thank you for your insight, M.T. Dremer.

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4. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   Monogamy is a (lifestyle choice) not a DNA code.
   There is no need to renounce it because it's not mandatory. No one has to enter into an "exclusive relationship" or (make promises) to anyone to only have sex  with one person.
   We live in an era where there are lots of "hookup dating sites", "open marriages", "booty calls", "friends with benefits", and the classic "one night stand" or "vacation sex" opportunities. There are also escort and gigolo services available to those willing to spend money on sex.
   With so many sexual opportunities out there cheating should be obsolete! One can easily find someone who wants what they do!
   Cheating is about "breaking the rules", secrecy, deception, lying directly or by omission, making false promises, and betrayal.
   The goal of most cheaters is to (hold onto) all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side. The vast majority of cheaters aren't looking to replace one relationship with another and they do not desire their mate to have sex with others. It's usually a (selfish) agenda!
   Falling "in love" and becoming "emotionally invested" in someone causes us not to want to share that individual with anyone. The very thought of someone you're madly "in love" with giving someone else "pleasure" is enough to drive a lot people crazy.
   Being "in love", fear of losing them, and imagining how you'd feel if they were having sex with others is what causes people to (choose) to make promises of monogamy. If you're not "in love" it's a lot easier to be open to having someone you date seeing others.
   Bottom line is whether one wants to be in a monogamous relationship or have the ability to have sex with whomever they want whenever they want the only solution is to be honest about it and seek out "like minded people".
   Problems arise when you get with someone who does not want what you want but they pretend to be on the same page as you!.

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      Jonas Rodrigoposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I appreciate your in-depth answer very much, dashingscorpio. I think you are right on many levels.

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   Jade89posted 10 years ago

   Your friend was right lol. On a serious note, that would be like saying - lets  legalize or say that it's okay or the norm to steal, kill, etc and then it won't destroy lives anymore because we've all agreed on it... I don't think that would be a good idea. It won't change the way people feel or think or the damage it causes.

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      Jonas Rodrigoposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, I get that a lot. Thanks for your insight, Jade.

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