Do you set free those you love?

1. 48

   karlikaposted 8 years ago

   Do you set free those you love?
   
   I'm 14 and I love my godmother and I am closer to her than my own mother. I feel sometimes as if I am a burden on her, she out of state so we text.she has surprised me a few times by visiting. I have told her my problems and she doesn't seem to care and hasn't took action, she only gave advice. When I was crying when she was here she played candy crush instead of helping she did ask what was going on and stuff, I just feel like sometimes I should stop texting her or thinking about her and just keep her out if my life. She is a lively person. But I feel as if I'm just not enough. Idk really.

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2. 80

   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   
   
   You said: "she only gave advice."
   People don't spend a lot of time giving advice to those they care nothing about unless they do so for a living.
   The problem here is your godmother is not living up to (your) expectations.
   Everyone has their own "litmus test" of what love is suppose to look like, feel like, and how others should treat us if they really "love us".
   As you noted you are only 14!
   It's not as though you have a demanding boss and working a job you hate in order to keep a roof over your head, feed, clothe children, pay a car note, insurance, and medical expenses and so on.
   Your problems are typical teenage problems most likely that every adult has gone through! One of the problems with being young is we tend to only think in terms of "me" & (here and now).
   When I was 14 for example I could not even imagine being 18 and that was only four years away!
   Within those four years I had gotten my drivers license, join the Coast Guard Reserves, graduated from high school, and gone away to college, dating a beautiful girlfriend on campus and so on.
   During your teenage years you have to realize all of your problems are temporary. Sometimes you just have to ride the wave.
   When I was in Jr. high a 13 year old girl attempted suicide because her 14 year old boyfriend broke up with her to date the new girl in school.
   I've often wondered if she ever thinks back to that time after having graduated from high school, college, establishing a career, getting married, buying a car, a house,and having children of her own...etc
   No 13 year old girl should think life isn't worth living and no 14 year old boy should be held responsible for the wellbeing of anyone!
   Teenagers make irrational decisions because they lack the ability to think beyond their present circumstances.
   They believe "today" is "forever".
   Our youth is about learning who (we are) and what we want out of life by trying a variety of things. We're constantly evolving.
   The guy whom you feel has all the traits of being an "ideal mate"  for you at age 14 most likely isn't what you'll want at age 21 or 30. Being cute and funny alone is not going to cut it in your adult relationships.
   Truth be told when it comes to love and relationships most of us fail our way to success. If this weren't true we'd all be married to our high school sweethearts! Teenage and early 20s dating is about learning what you want. Very few people find their "soul-mate" at age 14.

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3. 0

   Davlyn Portposted 8 years ago

   I was once in a similar situation like yours and it took me a few years to understand why the person that I entrusted with my problems did not take action.Do believe me when I tell you that you are not a burden, if you were, she wouldn't even respond to you in the first place.These are some of the reasons that I had. Hopefully it helps you to understand or help lessen your worries.
   
   1. It is not her place to come between you and your mother: by right, she is just your godmother, all that she can really do is give you advice. If she came in between you and your Mom, the situation would be devastating and awkward between the 3 of you.
   
   2. Maybe you should confide in peers that are your own age: I'm not sure what your situation at school is. But, confiding in a Friend that you trust could be much better than confiding in your godmother. I believe that this is better as the Friend could better understand what you are going through or could be in a similar situation.
   
   3. She cares for you but unless you are starving, abused, depressed or are reacting in a very self-harming/negative way, she does not need to take action. But if any of these things are happening, please consult  your counsellor at your school and get help.
   
   4. Adults and teens have different perception of problems: I remember when I was your age and was going through my first break up, I was telling my aunt about it but it didn't seem like she cared and all she did was give advice. I wanted her to do something more than tell me it was going to be ok. After a few days, it doesn't seem that important, compared to her problem (she couldn't pay rent). Maybe it's not that your godmother doesn't care, she just knows you will get over your problem and she's probably stressed with hers.
   
   Lastly, it is not that you are not enough, you just want a solution to your problem quickly. Maybe you should take some time and reflect on what is bothering you and how you can help yourself in a positive way.

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