Would you prefer to date a girl that is an orphan?
Disregards to what people think, marriage is not between two people, but two families. But if your girl friend is an orphan, then she got no family. In fact, my cousin dated a girl that was once an orphan and he don't even need to impress her parents.
Had to log in just to answer this question because I couldn't believe how one sided it was!
Benefits to dating someone with no family - You don't have to deal with her family.
Negatives - That person is stuck dealing with your family year after year as a friendly reminder they don't have a family of their own. The orphan also has to have had a rough life not having parents. This creates issues that you will then get stuck dealing with.Year after year you get to have a family there for important events while she has no one. No father to walk her down the isle if you ever get married. No mother to help her plan the wedding. No mother to call when you are stressing her out. No mother to be there for her if you have children. You then get to be stuck being the only family member there for her and she gets to force you into talking to your parents even when you don't want to because she knows how important family is. Any decent human being would rather the person they love have a family. They would rather the person they love have a support system to go to. Only a crappy human would rather have the person they love have no family than have to step up and "impress" her family.
My husband is married to an orphan, and he loves me, but he would tell you in a quick minute it would make him much happier to have to "impress" a set of parents thank know his wife has to go through holiday after holiday, important life event after another, feeling what it feels like to have no family.
I have family. Trust me, you are not missing out on anything. There is a reason why there is a saying "You can choose your friends, but not your family." a family is only what you said, if it is the right family and real life ain't the brady bunch
Maybe you are ungrateful, but I'd take a pain in the butt set of parents over none. I missed out on having a mother to guide me through parenthood, parents to be there for graduation, etc. Real family doesn't have to be perfect, drama is part of life
You do know some people might have a mother who is eg a drunken irresponsible slut or stand by and do nothing while her step father rape her etc. There is a reason there is such thing call Child protection service
I'm aware, I come from that, but MOST families are not like that. So basing your opinion on the minority is ridiculous. If I can come from that and have hope for other families surely you can too. Family is usually good even when they are annoying.
Those are extreme case as example, but even more ordinary, family are people, eg we see movie such as "meet the parents" or "monster in law" and think its funny, but stuff like that really exist and when you meet those people, things get complex
If the person you are with is someone you love you learn to adapt to make the situation work. My in laws sire aren't ideal, we're opposites. I make it work because that's what a responsible adult does when they love someone.
Some people, u can make it work, others, unwise. U are married, now, so its too late. But I tell sister (she is 17), before u decide to commit to a guy, see what sort of parents he got, because they are going to be an important part of ur life.
It wouldn't matter at all to me.
In fact I would probably be less incline to enjoy being with someone who has a very large family where there are no boundaries.
Especially if they meddle into each other's lives or constantly make demands on one another.
There's too much potential for "family drama" to drain the relationship.
Very few families large or small resemble a Norman Rockwell painting. It's really about how one's mate relates to their family.
Ultimately if you're "in love" you accept their family scenario.
I personally don't think it would matter to me either way,but I did find this question rather humorous.
Probably because me and my mother-in-law don't really get along.
emi..my heart goes out to you. Friction w/ a MIL is a real thorn in one's side. Just so UR husband is supportive of YOU, it's easier to handle. IMO a mother should go above & beyond to get along 4 her son's sake. YOU're the "new" family member.
Thank you! It does complicate things quite a bit. I am very respectful of her and though I am sometimes offended by her, I find it is best to let it roll off my back as much as possible in order to keep the peace.
You are wise to do that...and the better, bigger woman. Good for you.
Still think choosing the right in law, isn't important? Bad in law = problem. Emily is a life example, right here. You are very lucky your sons didn't experience this sort of problem, but not everybody is so fortunate.
"problem" inlaws can B ignored or tolerated. You can move AWAY. Set boundaries, limit visits. B the bigger, better person, like Emi. Inlaw strife/stress will not KILL you. Be real, grow up & deal with it. There R worse things in life. USE HUMOR!
Asking a wife, not to talk to their parents, because u don't get along with them, is inhumane. This choice is worse, then avoid marrying women, that come with bad in laws.
TRUE! That would be cruel! Since the wife gets along fine w/ her parents. Look like her spouse NEEDS TO GROW UP & STEP UP TO THE PLATE TO MAKE THE EFFORT! Cop outs! If U would not marry someone U love bcuz U don't like her parents, YOU'RE A FOOL!
Lust is not enough for love, love is not enough for marriage. There are more important things in the world, then love.
Peter~ Very strange question, to say the least. Further, while families are an important part in the lives of most of us, despite what you state, none of us "marry a family." We marry an individual.
This person may or may not have a family, large or small, nearby or spread throughout numerous areas. One or both of you may be extremely close and tightly bonded with your families, or somewhat estranged. The number of various situations in terms of "family" is endless.
Personally, I cannot imagine why a man would intentionally seek out an "orphan," except for foolish selfish reasons of believing it would be a PLUS to not have to "deal with her family." Immaturity at it's ugliest. Intelligent, adult men know that it's about marrying a woman he loves, respects & with whom he chooses to spend his life.
Since I do not date girls, this is as much of an answer as I'm willing to provide.
I'll make one other point. As a woman (and a WRITER) I can tell you that your own choices may be extremely limited. This is clear to me based not only upon your expressed attitude here but your inability to speak proper English......"she got no family??!"~~ "he don't even need to impress her parents.?!!".....As a parent, I can assure you, I'd hide my daughter from you. Take a course in English, ESPECIALLY if you're going to belong to a "writer's site!"
FYI - I believe English is a second language for peter565.
He does not reside in the U.S.
This may explain some of the issues with his sentence structure.
Point taken & appreciated Dash. NO profile doesn't help him. Besides, after 15 mos. his efforts should IMPROVE. I vowed not to complain to HP re: the rampant poor grammar (as others do.) I address the writer. I've grown weary of the low quality.
You obviously don't know the problem in laws can cause. In laws from hell, in comedy movie such as "Meet the parents" and "monster in law" might be funny to watch, but if you meet in real life, it is a very different story.
Agreed. I don't know about these potential issues because I've never experienced this. Instead I have done whatever possible to create peace & harmony 4 those I love most in this world. My sons.
And to protect ur sons, if they come across such monster in laws, would u still recommand for him to marry this girl. Or would u hope, they would break up, even if u don't suggest it?
What I "HOPE" 4 my sons is health, happiness & success. & I TRUST they are mature, sensible & bright enough to choose wisely. At this stage, I no longer "protect" them. They protect ME! They & their inlaws gel perfectly. We ALL do.
That is lucky for your sons, to marry women that come with decent in laws, but not all people, are decent people, as in laws. So again I ask u the same question "What if ur son is to marry a woman, that come with problematic in laws?"
I trust my sons R wise,mature & strong enough to rise above & solve or tolerate. Ur insistence that inlaws have such power to harm is melodramatic & exaggerated. A couple's concern needs 2 B w/ one another. Strife & stress must be ig
Yes,but when they first started dating their current partner, it is unlikely they know their parents, so, I ask again, if it turns out their girl friend's parents are monster in laws, would u prefer they break up?
I would not.
In fact I would not prefer to date a girl that is not an orphan either.
Because I am committed.
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