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So who is the husband?

  1. aDayInMyLife1 profile image89
    aDayInMyLife1posted 23 months ago

    So who is the husband?

    Why is it that heterosexuals look at a lesbian couple and try and figure out "which one is the husband"?

    What makes a husband anyways? Men and woman alike can like cars or the arts, can stay home with the kids or be the bread winner, can enjoy cooking or tools.

    So to answer the question.... neither of us are the husband. Thats why we are lesbians!


  2. pagesvoice profile image86
    pagesvoiceposted 23 months ago

    It really doesn't matter who is referred to as a husband in a marriage. "Husband" is nothing more than a label. People who are rigid and entrenched in their views will not accept any label in a gay or lesbian relationship because they reject the whole concept of gay and lesbians in the first place. It is a shame there remains a segment of society who refuse to accept love between two people occurs in the heart, mind and their devotion to one another.

  3. gmwilliams profile image86
    gmwilliamsposted 23 months ago


    That is an atavistic stereotype that in gay & lesbian relationships-one is the wife & the other is the husband.  This outmoded stereotype comes from old paradigms that gay & lesbian people are effeminate & butch.  These components are far from the truth.  There are gay & lesbian people who succumb to the hyped stereotype.  In gay & lesbian marriages, there are partners, not husband &wife period  unless the couple in question prefer to refer to their marital relationship as husband & wife.  Whatever floats one boat....go for it!

  4. lisavollrath profile image96
    lisavollrathposted 22 months ago

    The people who ask "who is the husband" are hung up on traditional gender roles, and should probably try stepping into the 21st century. Most couples don't define themselves with the outdated notion that men should feed the family, fix the car, and take out the trash, and women should raise the children, cook the meals, and please her mate.

    In the same way that some men now stay at home to raise children, and some woman become the sole bread winner, same-gender couples are free to define their own roles. Just like hetero couples, they are partners, which is a much more accurate term in many relationships.

    I think the high-road response to anyone who asks a lesbian couple "who is the husband" is "neither, because we are women, and partners".

  5. fpherj48 profile image76
    fpherj48posted 22 months ago

    Amanda....That's what I would call a foolish question, not to mention intrusive, inappropriate & in this day and age, unnecessary.
    The old "traditional roles" in terms of a married couple have slowly but surely faded into the archives, where they belong.
    Married couples share everything required to support one another, children, their lifestyles and pretty much all it takes to have a happy, healthy life together. 
    The proof of the stupidity in the question, "Who is the husband?"  is that "husband" refers to the male gender.  Ah...duh....Hello?  Lesbians do not marry men.  People should think before speaking, stop being NOSY and use some manners. We should all be over the "ignorance."

    1. Brinafr3sh profile image81
      Brinafr3shposted 22 months agoin reply to this

      Paula that's exactly what I thought, this question asks who's the husband and then she answered her own question. But got offended for the definition of what a husband is in a lesbian marriage. Be happy traditions are being thrown out.

    2. fpherj48 profile image76
      fpherj48posted 22 months agoin reply to this

      Brin-due respect, I don't get the feeling she is "offended." It seems she is appalled at clearly (stupid) questions. Also, I never use a biblical source 4 my independent, personal comments. Don't need a step by step manual 2 use my brain.