What do you think of a man who refuses to hold a woman's purse, even for a minute?
Once I was picking out some sheer curtains for someone and I asked him to hold my purse for a minute so that I could more easily look at the drapes and move them around. (The purse handles were too narrow for me to put over my shoulder.) Anyway, he absolutely refused to hold my purse. I ended up putting my purse on a nearby table and later walked away without it. Anyway, I was lucky my purse was still there when I went back to look for it. My point is that I found it shocking that he would not hold my purse. I felt he had "issues." What is your take on this refusing to hold the purse thing?
He clearly seems like the kind that has some issues. Its not even a question of how a man should behave in regards to a woman, it just seems to be a lack of common courtesy that everyone should have in relation to... Well, everyone else.
I mean, under normal circumstances, if a stranger asks you to hold something for a moment or such kind of small favor, and you're able to help, you do it. If someone you actually know personally asks for that kind of favor, you have even more reason to do it, and so on.
There's no excuse for this sort of behavior. My guess is that he likely does have some sort of issue. Maybe he was emotionally altered at the time if the described behavior isn't consistent with his usual personality. Even then, however, its a very rude thing to do.
Right? He even said, "What would you do with your purse if I were not here?" He also said that I could wrap the handle of the purse around my ankles. (He is actually a relative. No way would I date someone like that.)
I would think a man who wouldn't hold a purse might have come from a home where traditional gender roles were strictly enforced, possibly with punishment. As a child, I knew boys in school whose parents severely punished them for even the slightest departure from traditional male gender roles. I wouldn't be surprised at all if any of them grew up into men who feel irrationally nervous about the idea of being seen holding a purse and don't even know why they do.
Sounds logical, Kylyssa. This guy has a macho dad, but he was raised by his mother who was open minded. I personally think it's an insecurity issue, and I question how much respect he has for women---even if he sees himself as a "nice" guy.
I wouldn't be to tough on him, my husband will not spend change for my coffee through the drive-thru everyone has there own quirky things.I dont think it makes him have issues,I think i would not want to go shopping with him though
Lol. Does your husband think coffee is a waste of money? That's funny. I still maintain that the purse thing is weird. It creeps me out, frankly.....maybe because of other things he has said....
no he just will not spend change,but he doesnt mind buying the coffee
Well do you know if he was Muslim?
A Muslim might even be offended by you asking him to hold your purse, not only because women are to be submissive to Muslim men but a Muslim could fear someone might think he was gay. Islam goes beyond merely disapproving of homosexuality. Sharia teaches that homosexuality is a vile form of fornication, punishable by death.
However, I suspect he wasn't a Muslim in which case there are two possible explanations.
1) He is so immature and self absorbed to the extent that he has little respect for a woman's request for help. If he actually would be so "humiliated" by holding the purse he still could have suggested you set it down and he would watch it for you until you can pick it up again.
2) The most logical reason of all that I can think of, for obvious reasons if you have read my profile, he may have been tazed once, possibly by a woman who took the tazer from her purse. This would have been a harrowing experience that could make a man forever fearful of the possibility of coming anywhere near a tazer again.
Whatever the reason for him not holding your purse, this is a man who is not beyond humiliation.
Don't Taze me...those are some interesting explanations. He's not a Muslim and I'm pretty sure he hasn't been tazed. (I would have heard about it.) I think this is just one area in which he feels comfortable being a jerk, frankly.
I think you have to ask the specific man what his reasons are. The reactions of men can be based on their upbringing. For instance, to this day I hate shopping with a passion because of my mother and two sisters. I can still remember having to tag along with them for 8-10 hours on a shopping trip as I was too young to be left home alone if my father was working. I had to hold purses, bags, clothes, etc. I was constantly asked if this looked good or not, and no matter what I said it was wrong and then they would "need" to tell me why I was wrong and how to color coordinate, etc.To me holding a bag while you "look or browse" means you do not know what you want "exactly" and my inner child torment frustration rises up. My g/f never understood how I can walk into a store immediately go to the pant section grab a khaki, black, and grey pant in my size and head to the counter in 2 minutes. She asks, "Don't you want to look around?" My reply is always the same, "If I have to look around it means I don't know what I want or am just spending money on what I don't need. Shopping really should not take long."
Alternatively, maybe the person has ingrained gender roles and does not like holding objects which he considers feminine.
Third possibility is he wants to make sure no vibes are being sent out that he is unavailable. My sister told me a lot of women do this hold my purse thing, not because they need the purse held but to let other women know " I tagged and bagged this water buffalo, now go find your own."
Fourth: I would NEVER hold a purse for a stranger. This is how accusations of theft can occur. If I do not know you, I am not putting myself in a position to defend myself or wait for store surveillance to clear me. If you are a stranger I will tell you put it on a table and I will help watch it for you, for a reasonable period of time, from a distance.
Hi James. What a thorough answer! My guess he has part gender role issues and part having been bossed too much by his ex-wife issues. You know, I don't blame you for hating shopping given the reasons you stated. In truth, I'm a fast shopper too.
LOL. It is more my inner child shopping issues I must overcome. Probably need therapy.
Video on how men should hold a woman's purse :-)
Ha,ha. Great video. That guy is prepared!! BTW, I talked to a male co-worker this morning & he said he hated that his mother made him go clothes shopping with her all day. Lol. That would be torture for any kid.
I don't think I should be put in a position to hold a woman's purse. However, if there was no other alternative while she needed to place it out of her way then I would hold it until I could give it back. Hopefully, anybody should be able to see the purpose for my holding it. I would stay close to her with it. Therefore, it would be no big deal to me or shouldn't be to anyone else. My first purpose is to please my woman and satisfy her. If a man refuses to hold a woman's purse then he is too concerned with what the public thinks.
I'm pretty sure the public knows that the man is just being helpful, but apparently, holding a woman's purse must be embarrassing for some guys. Well, at least I don't ask them to hold the purse all day long. Lol. That would definitely be over-kill.
Show me a guy that won't hold a woman's purse and I'll show you a guy who is not "into THAT woman". It's always the "little things".
Generally speaking when someone truly cares about you they can overlook a minor inconvenience. Most men have done it!
There are some men who might be embarrassed if (other men) see them holding a purse. They may feel emasculated in some way.
There are lots of guys who would rather skip the whole shopping experience of being "the designated bag carrier" and so on...
They believe shopping should be one of her girlfriends' activities.
Nice picture. I think what you said is true, dashing.
Savvy, he's a wimp! to but it simply. I hold my wife's handbag or purse all the time, well not all the time, but often...whenever she asks. Especially if it matches my outfit...
I adore you for saying what you said. Seriously, I don't ask unless I really need some assistance in that moment. Thank you, Jodah, for being willing to "inconvenience" yourself for a little while. I, for one, really appreciate it.
One way to look at it is this: You would think that any "manly man" type would be glad to hold his woman's purse for a minute, because the fact of his holding the purse serves to demonstrate the fact that he has a woman, for whom it is necessary to hold the purse from time to time.
After all, a man holding his wife or girlfriend's purse is a common occurrence when they are out shopping, is it not?
The man in the picture looks like a ten-year-old boy unduly put upon to eat his broccoli.
Ha,ha. I tried to find a pic of a different sort of guy, but was unsuccessful. The person who refused to hold my purse and the purses of others is a relative. I think he needs to "get over it." Thanks, William.
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