Is loving yourself first selfish?
I don't think it is selfish. I think t's Selfishly Unselfish to love yourself first.
Not at all.
If one doesn't love them self first they are probably not truly ready to love others in a healthy way. In fact anyone who does not have boundaries and "deal breakers" when it comes to relationships with others is likely to allow people to walk all over them.
When you love yourself and have self-esteem it helps you to avoid being taken advantage of for very long.
The first law of nature is self preservation.
You are responsible for your own happiness.
Not at all. However, it all depends upon how one is brought up. According to psychologists, it is mentally healthy to love oneself first. After all, if one isn't capable of loving himself/herself first, how can h/she love other people. Also, psychologists strongly assert that if one doesn't have a love of & a healthy sense of self, one can't effectively navigate himself/herself in society & don't have proper boundaries in regards to others. Psychologists also maintain that people who can't love themselves are more susceptible to abuse from others because they have a poor or no sense of self.
However, religions propound that it is selfish to love oneself first although spiritual masters stress the importance of loving oneself first. One of the great spiritual masters, Jesus Christ stressed that one should love one's neighbors as h/she loves himself/herself. He didn't indicate that one should put one's neighbors before himself/herself but one had better love/respect neighbors as he would himself/herself. But religions stress self-abnegation is the ideal state of being. They vehemently aver that people who love themselves first are somehow selfish & that it is spiritually right to ALWAYS love others before themselves. Religions, especially the Abrahamic religions, see the self as negative, even evil which is religions expound upon the principle of self-denial. The religious premise is that the more one puts/loves himself/herself last, the better & more spiritually righteous h/she is.
Then there is the family environment. In large/very large families, children are taught to put family members first & themselves last. In such families, having a sense of self & loving oneself first is a sign of selfishness & is strongly discouraged & disparaged. In large families, there is no such thing as individuality & self- it is family uber alles. Children in large/very large families who demonstrate a strong sense of self & love themselves first are ostracized & made to somehow diminish themselves. However, in small families, children are encourage to love themselves first. There is a very strong sense of individuality in the small family environment. It is quite normative in small families to be highly individual & to love oneself first.
To be kind to yourself? To be patient with yourself? To say to yourself "God! You look great today!? To say NO and expect others to hear you and abide by that? Is about learning to be a good friend to yourself. And with your friends? You like them just as they are. So you should therefore like yourself in the same way.
Its only recently "I got it" that we need to be a little selfish so that we can healthily self promote ourselves (in a realistic way though) when we need to and protect ourselves when we need to.
It's like this analogy I came across many years ago. It's about selfisness but in a healthy way. Say you were on a plane and it was diving down to crash. The oxygen masks drop down.People are injured. You're a Doctor. It is a must that if you are a Doctor you need to breathe in that oxygen first in order to aid all the others.
So it is with self like and self love. All in moderation. All in a balanced way. When you value yourself others who value themselves will be drawn to you and want the best for you as much as you want the best for them.
I too don't think that loving oneself is selfish. Until and unless, we love ourselves, I must say, we cannot love others properly.
In todays' world, there are many people who are hurting themselves by using drugs, smoking etc.
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