Aren't we all selfish. We are born to experience life as an individual. In the end you will only have you and your experiences. I try to be selfish with good intent to not hurt others. If i'm not doing it for me than someone else is using their selfishness.
So isn't it the unavoidable to be selfish?
I agree! Every 'selfless' action usually ends up benefiting you or there is a unconscious reason why you are doing the 'selfless' deed. Like you said, it's unavoidable!
Nonexistent is the word you are looking for.
Yes, humans are selfish by nature. However, people have been strongly inculcated that to be selfish is......BAD, even E-VIL. Well, selfishness isn't bad nor evil. Selfishness is GOOD, even GREAT. One has to be selfish to establish autonomy. One has to be selfish to have a great sense of self. One has to be selfish to establish boundaries & to be successful in life.
People use the word selfish in order to manipulate others into having a poor sense of self. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong w/being selfish. Selfish people have a high respect for themselves. They REFUSE to permit others to take advantage of them. It is the unselfish people who get DUMPED upon. Unselfish people aren't respected because people view them as suckers. Selfish people are THE HAPPIEST people in the world. If I am not for myself, then nobody else will be. Only stupid people are unselfish!
I agree that we are born selfish and are selfish at our core. But I do not agree that selflessness is nonexistent. I think as we mature, through having healthy 'give and take' interaction with others, we become less selfish and more selfless. We grow empathy and compassion as we develop socially . . . . provided that we received decent childhoods and all the love that comes with it. Unfortunately, it does seem that most people remain/are selfish.
I do not think that being selfless is a good goal. If you don't look out for yourself, who will? That's not to say we shouldn't all have empathy for other people. Doing good deeds makes us feel good, so it's a win/win. We can help others while feeling better about ourselves.
I don't think it's healthy to always put others ahead of yourself. Even when people do that, I think it's still not really selfless, because they feel good by being the martyr.
Exactly. My mother was a martyr. She ALWAYS put others before herself. People saw that & TOOK ADVANTAGE of her. She always stated that she treated other people better than they treated her. Well, it's HER fault. She was the doormat who permit others to $%^$ on her! I am quite the opposite- I look out for myself & believe that others should do the same! I am far more respected because of this!
Need a balance of self serve and giving to others. All you have in life, is what you give away. If you don't have money, you can not give it away, same for love.
Looks like she was trying to gain attention/and or sympathy through perceived weakness. I have a sister like this, and I can attest that in reality she is just as selfish as anyone else. And possibly even more self-centered than normal.
My mother let people walk all over her. I think that it is the OLDEST CHILD SYNDROME. Oldest children usually have no boundaries- they want others to know that they ARE THE RESPONSIBLE ones who NEVER complain. Oldest children don't know HOW TO SAY NO yet they complain that others DON'T RESPECT them.
Yes, setting boundaries is really important
Yes it is. However, in large families, there are NO boundaries. In such families, children live in the open. There is NO PRIVACY. People from large families have NO BOUNDARIES like normal people who were raised in small families. People from large families have NO SENSE OF SELF. They view people who have a SENSE OF SELF as SELFISH. OLDEST children in LARGE FAMILIES are constantly being dumped upon & they accept it as they feel that it is THEIR DUTY to be serviceable to THEIR FAMILIES.
In large families, oldest children are cast aside as used napkins until they are deemed serviceable by their parents & younger siblings. Oldest children in such families are slaves & nothing more. When their service is over, they are again cast aside. Children in large families aren't raised with individual dreams & desires like normal children in small families. They are raised like a group. Groupthink operates in large families. They are told NEVER to be individuals as such is selfishness. Observe people from large families, they have NO SENSE OF SELF. They feel as if they are NOBODIES WITH NO WORTH. They feel that others are MORE WORTHY THAN THEY ARE. WHAT A SAD LIFE!
Families house in the 50s had three times more members of their family in 1/3 the space. Birth is shrinking a great deal today. More of the problem is housing too large and the house owns most of us. That's why I build tiny house communities self substantially vegetarian gardens and fungi to replace meat. My parents were not really caring growing up Yet, later Train them better and the whole world also became more of my family.
Would one trust selfish person? I have been there when the decision was made. Not in my best interest. Most people that I have known
and know are not selfish at all, and if they were I wouldn't know them.
I am astounded that so few understand what it is to not be selfish, shallow or apathetic...
I believe the art of humility should be every genuine person's foundation and guiding motivation.... it surely can not be that hard to selflessly give one's selfish traits away...
I don't think, this kind of human being can exist and if he's great with some extraordinary powers.
People have died to protect others. That is not selfish.
I observe that selfish traits surface most while driving. It is so sad when someone cannot simultaneously slow down and move to the side on a narrow street so BOTH of you can pass safely. Or the person that must be first and won't let you merge in; or the person who bangs on the horn because they are impatient. I think it's time for me to write another hub about this with the focus on selfishness.
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