Selfishness, in the past, had negative connections. However, it is the nature of humans to be selfish. The first law that humans have is self-preservation. Humans are to do what makes them happy as long as such acts aren't detrimental or hurtful. People who are selfish respect themselves. It is unnatural for people to be altruistic & selfless. Being selfless is a sign of mental illness. People who are selfless are viewed as easy marks & others tend to take advantage of them. It is selfish people who are the most successful in life. Your thoughts?
Of course we have to be selfish to survive. In the very extreme, we have to eat to live, and that means taking the life of another(animal or plant, or their food products like fruit, milk, honey, nuts, and even then these products are still from their life source, so, yes, we have to be vampires every day basically) However, most people would at least give the last bit of food to their kids even if it meant that you die. That is a moral decision.
I don't think there is not a single person who is selfless. If there are any selfless persons, they may be spending time in caves in the Himalayas.
I've travelled to the hills here. There too I have found that such people are also selfish. They also have something to sell. In return, they get food from passers by.
What do they sell from cave and jungles? They sell God Some were highly successful. And they are reveared and venerated as God. Some were/are quacks. Long forgotten. Thank you.
Of course not-selflessness is a form of mental illness. No mentally consciousness person is selfless. Selfishness is a sign of mental connection. One must have a strong sense of self in order to succeed. Let's go further- it all depends upon family size. Children in small families are raised to have a strong sense of self & individualism. Unfortunately, children in large families are told that to have a sense of sense is WRONG & all forms of self-assertion is crushed in the family environment. Children from large families have NO SENSE of self at all. They have no self-esteem. They are told that they are insignificant at best & non entities at worst. Selfishness is normal. Intelligent people are selfish.
Christ is portrayed as a selfless person. And he was pretty successful.
Maybe I'm wrong but I noticed that the lower the IQ, the higher the % of selfishness. And the higher the IQ the more selfless and more empathy people have.
Really? Selfless people aren't viewed as intelligent. In fact, they are viewed & treated as if they are stupid. People view selfless people as easy marks to be taken advantage of. Selfish people are viewed as intelligent. Selfish people have the intelligence & self-respect not to be easy marks. Selfish people are the ones who are the most successful while selfless people are considered quite laughable to say the least.
I have been poor and I have been rich, being rich is better. Yet, have found a happier in the middle lately.
My daughter keep pressing on me to be more empathic. I could use a little more. Yet my compassion is more important way to give to myself and others. I got too much crap for myself to deal with than for all empathy or great simpathy for everyone esle in the world. Just don't allow global world order that every president keep preaching about.
Having success is not the same as being intelligent. What do you consider successful?
Having empathy is an important skill set that helps you with negotiations, communication, abstract thinking, understanding group process and more.
Selfishness and empathy are not always good friends.
That said there are a lot of geniuses who reached the top of their profession being selfish, they were focused on their goal and wanted to achieve this no matter the costs. But they are lonely at the top.
You won't get any friends by being selfish. Being selfish is a destructive force. It will break up a community. A community can not trust a selfish person. It is a weak link. As you will give something to a selfish person, but this person will not give back to the community. In the end, the person probably will leave the community/group trying to find another one, and probably repeats the process of using up the community/group instead of sharing. Becoming lonelier during the years.
When serving food to the family it will be frowned upon when you serve yourself the biggest portion.
If you find selfless people laughable then so be it. But I think that selfless people have much stronger social ties and stronger friends. But perhaps not everybody needs a social network. Some people are happy alone.
Once my mother called me selfish because I was telling her about a few of my great achievements.
She told me when she was growing up in the dirty thirtys, the people were very selfless. I asked how did that worked out.
No mom I am self serve in order to serve others better. Self-serving not selfish because true freedom is when your mostly think about serving other.
Selflessness is abnormal- a mental illness. Mentally healthy people have a high sense of self. Being selfish is a sign of self-respect. Is your mother from a large family? People who grew up in large families are taught that individuality means nothing. Children in large families are raised to have no sense of self, no self-esteem. They are raised to be merely cogs.
I understand exactly what you are saying. My mom called me selfish every time I indicated a normal want or need. I'm several years older than my sister and brother, and she did not do that to them. I finally learned the art of having to take care of myself before I could serve others, but it had a detrimental effect on our relationship. I went to work at age 14 to try to pay for some of the things I needed that she "guilted" me out of. But my dad stepped up and paid for my books in high school.
So your Dad was looking out for you. Mom guilted you for serving yourself. Hard to learn self reliance that way, although there is always other ways.
My Dad was an alcoholic growing up, After I punched him in the nose at age 16. Later the doctor told me I actually straightened out his nose from being broken by someone else. Slowly after that, my father became my shooting star for my beautiful artist lifestyle for decades .
My Mother was always a hard nut to crack, yet found out by her friends. I was really serving humanity and entertaining the masses. Doing it MMYY WAYYY
Not being selfish, just having serious joy rather than toys.
Was your mother from a large family? People who grew up in large families oftentimes believe that a person is selfish if he/she expresses individuality. People who grew up in large families don't believe in the concept of self. People from large families believe that caring & loving oneself is TOXIC. People in large families have an inverse, toxic mindset & philosophy which isn't found in small families, just saying.
Yes, but so was my dad, and he didn't call me selfish; if he objected to something I wanted, he just said "no" without a negative lecture. I don't think I ever heard him call me selfish. Both parents had six living siblings and each lost a sister to a childhood disease. Both went through the Great Depression. My dad was 12 years older than my mom and was raised on a farm. His father made it through the 8th grade and his mother was illiterate. My mom was a city girl raised by intellectual parents. Her father had taught school, including on the college level. Both of my parents attended college but didn't graduate. Does this tell you anything here?
I did learn a lesson from them. I never called my children selfish.
Family size does influence how parents raise their children. Parents from large families tend to be harsher in raising their children than parents from small families who are more loving towards their children. People from large families don't instill in their children a sense of self. They contend that people who have a sense of self are selfish. They aren't loving parents- they are merely perfunctory parents.
Parents from large families are very distant in raising their children even though they may have small families themselves. They show no love nor affection to their children. They are perfunctory parents like their own parents were. Parents from small families, by contrast, are more loving parents although they may have a larger families. They are engaged parents who go the extra mile for their children. They aren't abusive like parents who come from large families are. I find that parents who come from large families are abusive parents, if not physically, they are abusive emotionally & mentally towards their children.
Regarding your last sentence, parents from small families never call their children selfish because in small families, individualism is valued. It is parents from large families who routinely use the word selfish because they loath individuality & individual expression. Remember, people who grow up in large families grow up in TOXIC, SELF-ABNEGATING environments where everything is inverse of that in normal, small families.
Reminds me of reading that the term 'gentleman' was originally derogatory.
Everyone is selfish, to some extent. To what extent determines if it is a positive or a negative.
Truuly selfless people may be taken advantage of by the selfish. That does not reflect poorly on the selfless person.
Like truth, it comes in degrees. As to selfless to selfish, there is a healthy balance. I'm honest to a high degree, although if it came to being body harmed or death. If it required a lie to prevent harm, then I would lie.
I would agree that, as to selfishness. Selflessness may be so great, at times, as to be unhealthy or dangerous for the selfless person. In those instances, my opinion is they are much better people than the rest of us.
by cruelkindness 2 years ago
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