Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
Only the individual knows what traits she/he is looking for in a mate.
I believe you want to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
More often than not natural Compatibility trumps Compromise!
Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.
The choice is up to us!
One hint: If someone has to "change" then they're probably not "the one". Very few people are walking around with one hand raised in the air screaming: "I'm looking for someone to change me!"
Most people want to be loved and accepted for who (they) are.
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
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