Does Age Matter in Relationships? Does Heterosexual or Same Sex Orientation influence whether
age width or smallness affect whether Age Difference is okay or Not. For example what about a 76 year old and 35 year old in a sexual relationship? Would you feel the same or different if it was 76 male: 35 female? 76 female : 35 female? 76 male: 35 male? 76 female: 35 male? And why? Or why not?
Being the cynic that I am I believe that no matter what the combination of 76 and 35 there must be an awfully lot of money involved for the relationship to even exist let along work.
I think May/December relationships can work but it depends on the people involved, the actual age difference, and the willingness of each person in the relationship to understand the fact that sometimes they're going to feel left out.
Example: Back in 2007 when the movie Wild Hogs came out I went to see it and thought it was very funny but my favorite part was at the end when Peter Fonda made a cameo appearance as the old biker that everyone respects and saves the day. That was the movie. Well I was visiting some friends a few days later and was telling them about the movie and how funny it was and asked if they could guess who the surprise biker at the end was. Every one of them said Marlon Brando. I couldn't believe it! Then I remember that at 61 I was the youngest person in the room and the next youngest was 74. The bad ass biker of their generation was Marlon Brando from 1953's The Wild One, not Peter Fonda from 1969's Easy Rider.
This may seem like a silly example but it's a perfect example of what a difference of just 13 years can do. And who was in what movie is really a minor issue compared to most of the differences a May/December couple will encounter. However, they can work, if both people involved are willing to be patient with the other person.
Most people get along with people of various age groups.
It really comes down to the individuals involved. People often say: "What do they have to talk about?" However when you think about it most conversations don't begin with "Remember when....etc"
The fact of the matter we talk about things going on at work, current events, what we ate last night for dinner, weekend plans, our frustrations with family/friends, what we saw on TV...etc.
In my opinion the biggest challenge would be potential health issues for the elderly person. Most people in their 80s and 90s aren't as active as Betty White, Tony Bennett, or Clint Eastwood. Nor do they have their income to get the top medical treatment if needed.
Hugh Hefner was 86 when he married his 26 year old bride at the time. Naturally everyone says she married him for the money. Nevertheless everyone marries someone who has "something" going for themselves be it beauty, money, personality. Whatever (you) feel is "important" to (you) influences your decision about relationships.
Note: Most relationships fail regardless of age!
Not everyone enters into relationships with the goal of marriage. Some people enjoy casual dating or are simply out to have a good time. On average most dating relationships last less than a year.
I will make an attempt at being neutral here but I will say on a personal level-"it's wrong". This age difference makes me feel ill and uneasy inside.
For me no matter how "youthful" one is in their age group, you are a expression of your generation. So memories, topic matters and health status are influencing factors.
How to find common ground? Sure the 76 year old may feel as if they are being given a second chance in life and made to feel "desirable" again-tru e or falsely. The 35 year old? Yes well I wont go there because I definetely will not be neutral..
Thankyou cissy and dashing scorpio for your down to earthiness and liberalism.
I wouldn't consider living your life (on your own terms) to be all that liberal. In fact most conservatives fight the government to protect their private rights. A lot of younger guys would love to date Christie Brinkley or Raquel Welch.
My husband is only 11 years older than me. Most days, we don't notice; our intellectualism, humor, and interests are similar. But even when he talks about being a child in the 70s, it can be unnerving when I don't have a reference point. His son came into the world when I was a freshman in college, mourning the loss of my friend, Matthew Shepard. People involve themselves in relationships for a variety of reasons, and marriage isn't necessarily one of them. People who are LGBT, are just as diverse in their relationships and relationship goals as cis-het people. The joy is, if a person's relationship makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to be involved in it. I like to take a step back and ponder why something is unsettling to me. Usually it has nothing to do with them and everything about my frame of mind.
Nice to hear from you ivorytusk. Its been a while...
I feel okay by a certain range in age difference but it is hard for me to sit comfortably with someone in their prime sexual years with someone in their twilight years. But that is just me.
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