Why is it hard for some people to forgive others??????
The reason why I asked this question is because my 25 year old brother was kicked out of our home by my father. I don't agree with his decision but I couldnt do anything to stop it, I try to act like it never happened, unfortunetly it always haunts me. But what hunts me the most is the fact that my dad said he will NEVER FORGIVE HIM and that's why this question is asked to see what other peoples opinions are.
Everyone is entitled to have their own "deal breakers" & boundaries in life. Naturally no one gets to choose what a "deal breaker" is for someone else. Since you didn't mention what your brother did to anger your father it's kind of difficult to weigh in on the gravity of the issue. (Anger is the Mask that Hurt wears....)
Forgiveness is a gift one gives to them self.
It doesn't mean one has to embrace anyone it's just a decision to no longer allow whatever was done or said to (dwell on their mind) any longer. In order to "move on" one must be willing to "let go".
In your brother's particular situation, it's likely that he said that and may actually follow through with that simply because he refuses to admit any wrong doing that led up to HIM being kicked out. First off, he is 25 years old. He should have had some money saved up and at least had the self-motivation to live on his own by that point in his life. For example, I had my own place when I was 19 & have never had roomates.
Secondly, I highly doubt that he was doing his share of chores and being considerate of others in the household for it to come down to his father kicking him out. If a child of any age lives under the same roof as their parents, the bottom line is the parents "rule the roost."
Did your brother graduate with a degree already and was simply home looking for work? Is he working on another degree & out for most of the summer? What is he doing with his life to have been at home at 25 and even be under the threat of getting kicked out? Surely he was not doing as he should have been.
Your brother clearly did not do as he should have and got what was coming to him. To save his ego/face, your brother acts as if he was wronged. Many people do this but it doesn't make it right. I don't even know your father or the things that led up to this but would be highly willing to say your father put up with a lot of crap before he had to stand his ground and kick your 25 year old brother out.
I don't know your brother's situation or what went down between him and your father, so I can't comment on that in particular.
From my perspective, forgiveness is withheld when someone wrongs you so deeply that it's a hurt you can never really recover from. Betrayal is one that is often hard to forgive.
by graceinus 5 years ago
How hard or ease is it for you to forgive someone who has done you wrong?I am not perfect by any sense of the word,but for me forgiving others comes ease. And I don't stay angry very long. I would hope that others would find it ease to forgive me if I had wronged them.
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