If cheating is a “deal breaker” for you: Does it carry a statue of limitation?
A 99-year old Italian man is filing for divorce after discovering letters from an affair his wife had over 60 years ago.They have been married for 77 years. She reportedly confessed but was unable to convince him to stay. Court papers indicate she wrote the letters during an affair in the 1940s. The couple will become the world’s oldest divorcees. Is betrayal just as painful whether it took place 60 years ago or 60 minutes ago? Would you file for divorce if you were him?
I think when someone cheats in a relationship the pain will never go away but it's still possible to forgive. In that situation, I'm assuming the woman was loyal to him those 60 years after the affair so that says a lot. If I were in his situation I wouldn't fil for divorce.
Yes cheating is a deal breaker for me. In regards to the present situation, I would not file for divorce, and only because I would be 99 years old. However, on any other basis I would leave. In most cases, infidelity isn't brought to the light immediately so yes, regardless of time I would leave the relationship.
Cheating is a deal breaker for me and I've never made a secret of that. It's not something I can or want to forgive. I don't blame him a bit. Not only did she lie to him then, but she kept up the lie for 60+ years. Wonder what else she's lying about? I don't take divorce lightly and I think there are very few reasons for divorce, but cheating is one of them. Some people can forgive infidelity, though.
It would be terribly painful, even 60 years later. But before walking away from 77 years of marriage and history, I would really think about it and try to forgive. I would want to know details like if it was the only affair etc....but at that age, I would not want to begin again alone.
Interesting. I dont find any reason for divorce. It doesn't matter what i did in past but what i do now.
Cheating is the worst kind of lie. And she kept it up for 60 years! Absolutely I would divorce her.
Betrayal, what a nasty trait! Right then, all that time 60 years ago, & right now, living a heartbreaking secret throughout the past 60 years, because she never told him then, but she did tell him now. It is hard for anyone who have lived with another that holds such drastic intentions of holding lies & one could be perceived as not being trusted any more, this, for a partner that you thought loved you, is devastating news.
It is not about forgiving and time. You can forgive and still not want to be with the person you have forgiven.
I can't say what I would do. It would depend on why. Why the affair? Why the lie? Why did she keep the correspondance? Why did she stay? Was I unfaithful to her and simply not discovered? Have I tired of the relationship and this is a good excuse to leave?
Relationships ultimately break up for a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with fidelity. Some stay together in spite of infidelity, some fracture even though both have been faithful.
Something at work here besides the cheating, as with any relationship
A betrayal is a betrayal. Whether it took place 60 years ago or not, it is still painful. In all honesty, it is more painful to find out long after the fact than it is to find out immediately. I've been in both situations. Living a lie without even knowing you have been makes you feel like a fool. You feel as though everyone around you knew before you did. That said, in this situation I wouldn't file for divorce. After 77 years together, with the transgression occurring 60 years ago, I believe it is possible to move beyond the hurt. Besides, putting a little grease on the floor then having the offending spouse walk across it might prove less expensive than divorce. (Just kidding. I do NOT condone purposefully engaging in any activity with the sole purpose of injuring anyone.)
Let me start by saying, I do not think that an affair occurring half a century ago would hurt any less than one happening a week ago. It could possibly hurt more because it leaves one to question an entire relationship, and having a 77 year old relationship leaves a lot of room for doubt.
However, 99 is too old to get a divorce. I hope, when I am 99, that I will not have to do anything as unpleasant as that. If I were this man I would not be getting a divorce, perhaps move in with a child or a place for older people. (My grandmother and grandfather were married until the day they died, but had not lived together for over 20 years.) Perhaps this can be seen as an easy or quick way out, but at 99, I think that is exactly what I would be looking for.
Absolutely. Not only did she cheat, but she has been lying to him all of these years. The trust is broken.
It probably depends on the laws of the country. In the U.S. she would still be entitled to social security based on his earnings. Maybe it is different in Italy, and she would get some kind of punishment.
I am sure there is more to the story, and they are probably not getting along currently. I would probably examine the current situation and if my spouse is treating me really well now, I may be able to forgive something that happened that long ago, but if our relationship isn't very strong now, this would certainly be straw that broke the camel's back.
oh my God what a fantastic history but i think he should forgive her although it was a big mistake but it was happen many years ago if i were in place of him i defently forgive http://deluxepages.blogspot.com/
Wow this is a hard one, it would depend on who he cheated with and whether or not I still loved him enough to forgive him (for better or worse). What I think it really comes down to is if I can live the rest of my life with out him over something that happened a long time ago and if whether or not I will still in love!
The fact that the letters were only found now.. and that she only came forth now.. only means she has been lying to him for 60 years. Lying by omission, sure.. but lying. So if he feels betrayed.. he has all the right in the world. Betrayl always hurts and remember.. if he only found out now.. to him. it's still fresh because it starts huting the moment you find out.. and not the moment it was made in the first place.
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