Why are bad habits in guys so hard to break?

1. 37

   starsweightlossposted 8 years ago

   Why are bad habits in guys so hard to break?

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2. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   
   
   Maybe it's because these guys don't think these are "bad habits".
   Generally speaking people change when (they) are unhappy.
   Whenever we attempt to change someone it usually leads to frustration on our part and resentment on their part.
   Very few people are walking around with one hand raised in the air screaming: "I'm looking for someone to change me!"
   Most people want to be loved and appreciated for who they are.
   There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.
   The choice is up to us!
   If either person has to change their core being to make a relationship "work" that may be a sign that they're with the "wrong person".
   Some people believe relationships are "hard work".
   I believe finding the "right person" is the (real) "hard work"!
   Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!
   Everyone is entitled to have their own "must have" traits in a mate. However the goal is to find someone who (already is) the kind of person you want to be with instead of trying to take on a "project", "fit square pegs into round holes" or "change water into wine".
   It shouldn't be so much "hard work" to love and be loved in return.

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   1. 37

      starsweightlossposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for taking the out of your day to answer this question.

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3. 0

   Cissy1946posted 8 years ago

   Bad habits are hard to break no matter who they belong to. The question I would ask you is who's to say what a bad habit is? If two people have just met and she drinks Pepsi and he drinks Coke and they each think the other has a bad habit because they drink the 'wrong' soft drink then which one is right and which one has the bad habit. Bad habits are part of a person. If you can't live with the bad habit, you shouldn't be trying to live with the person. That may sound a bit black and white but people who enter relationships thinking they can change and mold another person to fit what they want rather than accepting what they have are destined to failure. Personally I don't care if anyone drinks Coke, as long as they don't expect me to.

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4. 91

   watergeekposted 8 years ago

   Oftentimes an attempt to change someone is really a recognition that there's something in ourselves we want changed. I always approach relationships asking if there's some way this person's influence can help me grow. My growth is my responsibility. Theirs is theirs. And sometimes being the best person I can be also influences them to be the best they can be.
   
   Even if the relationship never turns into lovers, I still will be able to leave it with gratitude that it was worthwhile. No blaming, no resentments, none of that becomes necessary with this approach. We both will have benefited and the other person will still feel loved (if they're open to it).

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