Maybe it's because these guys don't think these are "bad habits".
Generally speaking people change when (they) are unhappy.
Whenever we attempt to change someone it usually leads to frustration on our part and resentment on their part.
Very few people are walking around with one hand raised in the air screaming: "I'm looking for someone to change me!"
Most people want to be loved and appreciated for who they are.
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.
The choice is up to us!
If either person has to change their core being to make a relationship "work" that may be a sign that they're with the "wrong person".
Some people believe relationships are "hard work".
I believe finding the "right person" is the (real) "hard work"!
Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!
Everyone is entitled to have their own "must have" traits in a mate. However the goal is to find someone who (already is) the kind of person you want to be with instead of trying to take on a "project", "fit square pegs into round holes" or "change water into wine".
It shouldn't be so much "hard work" to love and be loved in return.
Bad habits are hard to break no matter who they belong to. The question I would ask you is who's to say what a bad habit is? If two people have just met and she drinks Pepsi and he drinks Coke and they each think the other has a bad habit because they drink the 'wrong' soft drink then which one is right and which one has the bad habit. Bad habits are part of a person. If you can't live with the bad habit, you shouldn't be trying to live with the person. That may sound a bit black and white but people who enter relationships thinking they can change and mold another person to fit what they want rather than accepting what they have are destined to failure. Personally I don't care if anyone drinks Coke, as long as they don't expect me to.
Oftentimes an attempt to change someone is really a recognition that there's something in ourselves we want changed. I always approach relationships asking if there's some way this person's influence can help me grow. My growth is my responsibility. Theirs is theirs. And sometimes being the best person I can be also influences them to be the best they can be.
Even if the relationship never turns into lovers, I still will be able to leave it with gratitude that it was worthwhile. No blaming, no resentments, none of that becomes necessary with this approach. We both will have benefited and the other person will still feel loved (if they're open to it).
by Yvette Stupart PhD3 years ago
How do you break bad habits?I suppose it is safe to say that most of us have at least one bad habit that we would like to break. Share the steps you took to break a specific bad habit.
by maheshpatwal7 years ago
How to get rid of any bad habits in general?
by Elayne6 years ago
What bad habit do you wish you could break?
by Faith Reaper3 years ago
What has been the hardest bad habit you have had to break or you are attempting to break?There are so many bad habits and it takes a long time to break a bad habit. What has been the hardest bad habit in your life...
by Eaglekiwi8 years ago
Do you have any bad habits that you wish you didnt have? Did you try to change? what happened? what helped most? What doesnt help?
by Anna Taylor6 years ago
Is it right to stay or leave, when your spouse refuses to change bad habits for the relationship?If you are a faithful follower of Christ and your spouse refuses to enhance theirself, what do you do? Praying and Having...
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