What do you think a person says to themselves to make intimate partner cruelty okay?
What about legal, social and financial areas?-what changes do we need". Is there too much shame at being a target of another's cruelty?
Generally speaking violent people have "anger issues" period.
It's not something that is just reserved for their mates.
They will "go off" in a heartbeat. Anytime they feel taken advantage of, disrespected, betrayed, or ignored they are likely to lash out or find a way to retaliate physically against the perceived offender.
It's their way of demanding/commanding respect from others.
Maybe there was some point in their lives where they were hurt and they subconsciously promised themselves from that moment forward anyone who offended them or wounded them would catch hell.
Anger is the Mask that Hurt wears...
I suspect people who launch into violence don't spend a lot of time "thinking" but rather simply "reacting" or exploding (in the moment).
This might explain why so many of them beg for forgiveness or do things to try and "makeup" for their actions soon afterwards.
As for changes society can make there really aren't any ways for us to undo potential damage a person suffered during their formative years or in their early relationships.
Ultimately we all have to "work on ourselves" and evolve over time. The only thing society can do is meet out punishment.
Tough one. Do you know that statistics say a woman is treated badly at least 21 times before she decides to leave or pull out of the relationship?
I feel that the partner deep down, knows it's not ok. There are so many issues! Alice Miller, the famous psychologist, used to say that if we had tough upbringings, the cycle tended to repeat itself. We are in pain and we create pain for others. There are those, though, who would acknowledge that they need help, but somehow, few can transcend the problems.
Yes, legal, social and financial play very large parts in this. Dealing with the legal side, sometimes it goes to court and one partner backs off and then it's a waste of police time. I saw this quite often in the Caribbean (I was a policeman) and I saw it here in the UK. We are all so similar after all.
Socially there may be children involved; financially one partner may be dependant on the other. Actually, it is because that insecurity plays such a big part... insecurity and fear, that things take so long to resolve themselves.
Who is to blame? Generally I don't do that stuff, go down that road. Strength is needed and perhaps it's not always there. Support is needed and again it's not always there, or can even initially be refused.
You mentioned shame, right? Not all of us love to be humiliated in public or wash our dirty linen there. Big shame though, as you know, some of these situations can end with serious consequences for either party. Pistorius is a good example, perhaps.
What changes do we need? Don't know, ThreeKeys. We rely on others so much! A girl told me yesterday, that when she had had enough, she planned a getaway. She had packed and hid a suitcase in secret, and when the man went to work, she called a taxi and disappeared with the two kids. Today she is a lot better, brighter, single but much, much happier.
Point is that accountability or individual responsibility is important too. We cannot always sit around and wait, hoping for someone to help us.
Of course the law can and should do its part, and for that awareness is necessary. All great change has come about because of revolution, and we see some small changes in America now (I'm not targeting it, it came to mind as a good example.) because some people are standing up to injustice as they see it. Much Peace, ThreeKeys.
by GwennyOh 4 years ago
What is the one think your partner does that irritates you the most?Whether you have a boyfriend, husband, wife, or other intimate partner - what is the one thing they do that irritates you above all else?
by Maria Janta-Cooper 3 years ago
Making love with your partner every day, I mean every day, is it harmful?
by Ericka Bridges 12 months ago
Why do you think kind hearted people are the most mistreated?
by Rage For Love 7 years ago
If you read my about me, then you'd see that I'm passionate about healthy, lasting relationships.I think there are 2 things that are the most important to a lasting relationship, without these, a relationship will most likely not stand against the test of time. Even if it does, there is about a 95%...
by Tatiana Irodova 7 years ago
when should one start an intimate relationship with a new partner?
by Super Lux 6 years ago
no matter how intimate you get with your partner, when do you draw the line to keep your privacy or individuality?
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|