Why is it such a bad thing to hide my relationship from my family?

1. 48

   Tadeaposted 8 years ago

   Why is it such a bad thing to hide my relationship from my family?
   
   I am currently dating a female and my family is very judgement, they don't believe in lesbians relationship so I been hiding my relationship for over three years because I am so worried about what they would think of me,what should I do?

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2. 66

   Alessio Ganciposted 8 years ago

   If they are homophobe, you are doing good and I suggest keeping hiding it. If you are 18 or more, you can think about leaving your parents' house, otherwise just hide it until you are 18, and then you can say to them you have this relationship: if they accept it, that is good, otherwise if they will break with you, well... I honestly think you will not lose so much.
   
   When I wanted to break with all homophobe people of my little town, I had no problems at declaring myself: in fact I intended to hang out with people in big cities, and in fact it is the thing I still do: obviously if I was not able to go out of my town and to make new friendships, I would have not declared myself,

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3. 0

   Cissy1946posted 8 years ago

   It's sad when you have to hide things from your family but sometimes it's the only way to survive. I agree with Alessio, if you're still a minor and your family would disapprove then keep the relationship a secret. If you are of legal age, look around for another living arrangement. Once your family has adjusted to the fact that you are out in the world, living on your own, and supporting yourself you can think about telling them. However, if they are truly homophobic prepare yourself to be considered an outcast for a while. It won't last forever but it won't end overnight either. Also keep in mind that if your family is as judgmental as you perceive them to be then your life style choice is only one area where they could have a negative impact on you.

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4. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   
   
   "I am so worried about what they would think of me."
   Home/family is the one place everyone should feel safe to be themselves.
   Most people want to be loved and appreciated for who (they) are.
   What's the worst thing that could happen if you came out?
   Can you (live) with that?
   Having said that if you and your partner are fine with hiding your relationship then it's not a "bad thing".
   Oftentimes it's not that the person keeping a secret has a problem as much is it is (their mate) who resents having to live in the shadows like a "booty call". Some people feel like it's a "tier two" relationship.
   They feel if you truly loved them you'd shout it from the mountain top!
   This is especially true if (her family) is fully aware of the relationship.
   Don't be too surprised if you later learn your folks already suspect it.
   A lot of families play: "Don't ask, Don't tell."

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