Is watching porn movies and looking at nude pics always a bad thing to do?

1. 77

   donnatruposted 10 years ago

   Is watching porn movies and looking at nude pics always a bad thing to do?
   
   My older long time boyfriend seems to really enjoy it. Sometimes it bothers me other times I could care less. Is it  a form of cheating? Mixed emotions here.

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2. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   The words "always" and "never" seldom apply to anything.
   When it comes to relationships and marriages most issues are not about "right" or "wrong" but rather about "agree" or "disagree".
   Clearly it is not illegal for an adult to view or purchase pornography. However it may be considered a problem if it interferes with one's responsibilities and obligations. For instance if someone (needed) to do it during working hours, it was something they were pre-occupied with from sunup to sundown, led them to missing appointments, spending money on it rather than paying monthly bills....etc This would be a sign of addiction.
   Having said that more often than not the problem is when one person enjoys doing something and their mate wants them to stop.
   I suppose it's human nature to want to (control or change) other people's behavior rather than seek out someone who (naturally agrees) with us. Nevertheless I have never met anyone who walked around screaming; "I'm looking for someone to (change) me!" Most people want to be loved and accepted for who they are.
   Is watching porn or looking at nude photos a bad thing? Not of itself but if (you) don't like it and (you) consider it to be bad then you have to make a decision as to whether or not it's a "deal breaker" for (you). You're responsible for your own happiness.
   The goal is to find someone who shares your same values and (naturally) wants the same things as you do for the relationship. No one is "stuck" with anyone. On the other hand if it's not a "deal breaker" to you than don't sweat the small stuff.
   The underlying definition of cheating is "breaking the rules". Personally speaking cheating would also involve deception and secretly engaging with others romantically/sexually emotionally or physically. Watching a movie or looking at photos is not cheating.
   There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: we either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.

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