Is having a secret relationship a good thing or a bad thing?

1. 60

   hawaiiangirlposted 12 years ago

   Is having a secret relationship a good thing or a bad thing?
   
   As for me I am having a secret relationship and it is very hard to come by to see each other

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2. 61

   Silverspeederposted 12 years ago

   Let me ask you a question, if you were in love with someone and they were your whole life's love and then one day you found out that the person you loved had been having an affair with someone how would you feel?
   
   What ever happened to trust, honesty, truth and fidelity?

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3. 34

   edhanposted 12 years ago

   It is neither good or bad as this depends on you. I believe there is nothing wrong with secret relationship as some may want privacy. In a way, it is kinda adventurous!
   
   Enjoy your secret relationship!

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4. 62

   ExpressFreeposted 12 years ago

   Aas for me, it is better to established relationship in the open rather than having it on secret. I believed that trust and honesty in a relationship are one of the most important ingredient to make it last for good.  Why hide it secret ? unless there is something to be ashamed off or it is an illegal affair right? 
   
   To truly know a person whom you are having relationship also requires interaction with other people, how she/he will act together with you in the crowd.  Aside from that, keeping a secret relationship does not offer you a lot of benefits and opportunities to enjoy the relationship to the fullest...

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5. 56

   ftclickposted 12 years ago

   Yeah, if it has to be a secret then there is something wrong there with who it will offend. If you are OK with it and a grown adult it should not be a secret because it is what you believe is fine. (UNLESS you are exploiting a minor or a part of a criminal activity)

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6. 60

   lostdogrwdposted 12 years ago

   anything that in the dark is there for your own reason but it going to come to the light one day and when or if it do will it hurt you and others around you. if it good or bad only you and the people around you know this and good luck to you on this

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7. 89

   Cardisaposted 12 years ago

   Having a secret relationship would be very stressful for me especially if there are other people involved. I can't see the logic in having a secret relationship in the first place.
   
   1) If the guy is involved it's a bad idea because I would be involved in a triangle that only spells trouble
   2) If I am cheating, I would always be worried that my partner will find out somehow and the guilt would prevent me from enjoying any of the two relationships
   3) If the guy isn't involved with someone else then why can't we have an open relationship? That in itself would bother me.
   
   My relationships have to be open and free so we can date openly, have sleep overs openly, hold hands in public and so on.

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8. 68

   Ellana317posted 12 years ago

   I've had my fair share of "secret relationships" and unfortunately none of them have ever led to anything positive.  Sure, sneaking around is exciting in the beginning but it'll eventually wear off and you'll want to be shown affection and have the freedoms that most normal couples enjoy.  In maturing, I have figured out that I want to be with someone who wants to show me off and wants everyone to know how he feels about me (and vice versa), rather than only being able to express it behind closed doors.  Also, I have been told that if you're doing something that you don't want everyone to know about, you should reconsider doing it.  Just  my opinion...

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9. 69

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   I believe the answer has to do with why the relationship is a secret in the first place. Usually the point of doing something in secret is because we know those close to us would not approve of it. It could be something as toxic as having an affair or something as personal  as interracial dating or being involved in a gay/lesbian relationship. For those who are fairly young it may be dating someone you know your parents would not approve of (ie) a 17 year old girl dating a 21 year old man or something along the lines of Romeo & Juliet...etc
   Only you know what your motivations are for having a secret relationship. Bear in mind all serious relationships eventually come into light. If keeping the relationship secret is not your choice but rather the person you are seeing then you might want to (honestly)  figure out why they don't want everyone to know about you.

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10. 60

    hawaiiangirlposted 12 years ago

    Having an affair with someone else while in a relationship with someone else i feel is out right crazy.  There other people who do not trust their own partner.  If you do not believe in the person that you ae going out with, then just up and leave.

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    1. 60

       LaThingposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I am little confuse, Hawaiiangirl! Isn't the question from you and you mentioned that you ARE having a secret relationship? Maybe it doesn't involve people... Would you like to elaborate? interesting question, actually!

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11. 61

    Hui (蕙)posted 12 years ago

    Why and how is a relationship secret in 21 century? Is it because of the Grandmother or the government, or eyes from around? Being secret may not be bad, but uncomfortable.

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12. 59

    royalblkroseposted 12 years ago

    a secret relationship .... something to hide. to hide a relationship is a very bad thing.
    why is there a need to hide? Is one of the partners involved with someone else?
    In the African American community AIDS is a serious problem because of  secret "down low" relationships.

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    1. 53

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13. 50

    skytreeroadposted 11 years ago

    If it is getting harder and harder to see each other, maybe the interest is waning. I want more information...is it a marriage that makes it secret? Parents don't approve? Both work at the same place? Usually it is a bad thing. Hatfields and McCoys ended up okay at the end, but they were almost the only ones alive, Romeo and Juliet ended in death. It seems romantic, but it isn't. Romantic is when you hold hands at the local fair, romantic is when you walk together downtown window shopping holding hands, romantic is when you go to the pool together and find out how each other gets wet (toe dip, full dive, wade in, you know). Same sex relationships are secret because they are taboo, but it wouldn't be as hard to come by to see each other. Guys can hang with guys, gals with gals. It sounds Married. And that is Bad. I could be wrong, it could be work at the same place, and if the money is good enough so is the secret.

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14. 70

    manatita44posted 10 years ago

    Then again the secret could be the parents not knowing also, Cardisa.
    
    Anyway, words tell so much!! So, for example, the mere fact that she is asking this, means that she is already in a not too healthy place mentally. As for the conscience, that is a different thing. It also talks to us, true. Some do not listen, and others do not allow the antennae to open so they do not hear.
    
    The farmer plants the corn, gives the soil manure, keeps it fertile and gets a bumper crop. The non-farmer neglects the rain, manure, etc, and gets a bad crop.
    
    All actions produces reactions and all causes will produce effects. This is the nature of the universal law. Let us be careful of our thoughts, words and actions. It is almost impossible to escape this natural law, and especially so if our thoughts continue to be deliberately impure.

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15. 70

    faith-hope-loveposted 10 years ago

    Think this through very carefully. Any relationship that cannot bear the light of day is always wrong. A relationship that has to be kept a secret is a very dangerous one and is potentially lethal. If the man or if it is a woman insists on secrecy it is wise to place it at arms length until the need for secrecy is long past. So my advice is, and this is entirely up to the participant who is being denied the light of open relationship, "do not indulge in this affair" and steer clear of the one who is insisting or requesting the arrangement.

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