So do you think I'll start dating this girl?

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  1. Dwight Phoenix profile image67
    Dwight Phoenixposted 7 years ago

    So do you think I'll start dating this girl?

    From a Previous question I had asked about a girl at my work that I have a crush on. I found it difficult to conclude whether or not she liked me or was just playing around. We had good conversations but no date's materialized.
    Until now. After some patience we actually went out. The only problem is that we didn't conclude that it was a date until after,SMH. So now we are just a little bit more than friends and she's still being distant. I'm just not sure if we'll ever truly date:(

  2. dashingscorpio profile image76
    dashingscorpioposted 7 years ago

    "The only problem is that {I} didn't know it was a date."
    I'm not sure how something like that could happen.
    Usually the person doing the asking out knows it's a date and at some point there might be a kiss good-night or good-bye with words along the line of: "Lets plan on doing this again."
    Sometimes people just go for a walk and hold hands or do some type of touching to indicate that it's more than a "platonic" or "hanging out" situation. Playful flirtatious banter also helps.
    Sometimes when a guy is "awestruck" by a woman or feels she might be out of his league he will refrain from behaving confidently as he normally would if he thought she were average. Suddenly he starts "overthinking" or second guessing himself. Essentially he does everything he can to avoid the possibility being rejected.
    One of the differences between "nice guys" and "bad boys" is "nice guys" buy into the belief that they can go from the "friend zone" to being lovers after a certain amount of time.
    Truthfully it's more about lacking the confidence/courage to be direct about their intentions.
    Only in the movies can two awkwardly shy people find love and happily ever after.
    A fast rejection saves time & emotional investment for something that wasn't going to be.
    If there is a "cultural divide" or something that keeps her on the fence about your intentions you might want to (smile) and just come right out and say something along the lines of:
    "Hey, I find myself very attracted to you and I would like to spend some time getting to know you better to see if we have a romantic spark. Are you interested in finding out the same?"
    If the answer is "yes" setup another date.
    Ordinarily if two people are of the same cultural background it's not necessary to spell it out in words.

    1. Dwight Phoenix profile image67
      Dwight Phoenixposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hey hit the nail on the head with many points.... I'm known as the nice guy..she knows I like already...n she actually told me we could go to the movies which I had suggested sometimes back. At the time we were calling​ a meet up.

    2. dashingscorpio profile image76
      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      There's hope!
      Take her to the movies, afterwards go someplace for a drink where you can laugh and talk about the movie. Make sure you hold hands and lean in for a kiss good-night. If she's receptive extend the kiss a little longer. It's a date!

    3. Dwight Phoenix profile image67
      Dwight Phoenixposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Oh God have know idea how much I wanna do that...I just need to get another opportunity... she's playing real hard to seal the deal with...

    4. dashingscorpio profile image76
      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Make it happen! You've got nothing to lose.
      It's better to die trying than to be left wondering. Life is short!
      The world may not owe you anything but (you) owe yourself the world! Go for it!
      Best wishes!

    5. Dwight Phoenix profile image67
      Dwight Phoenixposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      As we say in Jamaica..."nuff ratings!".....thanks for your kind Words of advice... even though we've had our hard religious debates​ in the past... you're quite a nice person...thank you:) smile smile

    6. dashingscorpio profile image76
      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      So are you!
      It's too bad a lot of folks are just a "one note" topic people. If they disagree with you on (that topic) everything you say is automatically worthless.
      Life is a (personal) journey!
      Live and let live! There's more to each of us!

  3. Pam Morris profile image81
    Pam Morrisposted 7 years ago

    Dwight, I think your problem is you are leaning on others advice too much to decide if you want to date this young lady or not. If you truly like this young woman a lot. I think it's time you stop with the posting be yourself and step to this young lady like a man who truly would enjoy getting to know a coworker. We can't be successful doing what others tell us to do, but we can be ourselves and be who we really are to be successful. That what you need to do.

    I learn from my life experience when we give others control to tell us how to f ix something or do anything it NEVER turns out right. I know you heard the saying if you want something done right you have to do it yourself. That is true so, go to her and do it by following your heart and if she attractive to you as you are to her it will happen you will date her.

    However, If she not interesting in you, it won't happen. You need to move forward to find that out now so you can move on if she's not interested as there is a young lady in the world that will bring so much joy to your life. I agree with one of the other people who replied to this posting by saying life is too short, and it is; we should live life as if it is our last day because we NEVER know whether it is or not. Best of luck with getting the final result.

    1. Dwight Phoenix profile image67
      Dwight Phoenixposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hey Pam. U see the issue isn't asking her out, cause I have done that.I have made my move lots of times​.but she's playing hard to get I think.she's quite receptive n then opposing at at times.which is y I ask this question.will we finally date.


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