If a man is not happy with his wife should he leave her or should she leave him?

1. 0

   lindaspeaksposted 8 years ago

   If a man is not happy with his wife should he leave her or should she leave him?
   
   I know a man is always complaining about how his wife treats him. He also tells her if she's not happy with him why don't she just leave? Do you think she should?
   
   

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2. 74

   manatita44posted 8 years ago

   Linda, you're asking what is obviously a very personal question. Not that I do not think it's good to share and indeed it can sometimes help, but the good counsellor will simply look at the different sides of the coin, listen and let the affected one come up with a decision.
   
   There is a reason for the man complaining and also for the woman weighing up her options. From the spiritual standpoint, each Soul walks alone. God wants me, you and everyone else to play our very unique and special role. Sometimes we would play it out with someone and sometimes we won't. Other times it may simply have ran its course. No hard and fast rule.
   
   Occasionally, even when empathy and human love comes in on the part of the woman, there may still be uncertainty and perhaps the karma has not been completely burnt out. Some stay together for 25 years before they go their separate ways and others go perhaps too soon.
   
   I came here to say, though, that one should do what gives one joy; what makes one laugh or is inwardly happy. If that's missing, then the Soul or Souls can become weak and helpless, as such holding each other back. One can sometimes grow faster with the trauma of having to start all over again. But there is no hard and fast rule.
   
   Discuss this with someone close, but who is firm and fairly neutral and let them ask what you think of this or that solution, allowing the decision to come from you, not them. For my part, I would say never do what makes you weak; always move in the direction of Light and beauty and be wary if you're not. The Heart will always speak as well as the voice of Conscience. Listen...

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   1. 0

      lindaspeaksposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      The marriage can be no greater then you make it to be. Never be to proud to say to say, I love you  and I'm sorry for any idol words I said to you in Jesus name. Amen. Then give each other a hug and kiss. "A family that prays together stays together"

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   2. 74

      manatita44posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Yes. The answer must come from you. You will know if it is ok and if it's not. We are all ultimately responsible and accountable before God. You will stand alone.

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3. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   
   
   I believe the reasons why one gets married should be the same reasons why they stay married. In other words if he or she were "unhappy" would they have gotten married?
   If the answer is "no" then don't feel obligated to stay in an "unhappy or toxic marriage".
   The reality is for most people being "unhappy" is not a legitimate "deal breaker".
   They almost need their mate to cheat or commit physical/mental abuse of some kind to {give themselves permission} to walk away. Simply being "unhappy" just isn't enough for them.
   The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another. Compatibility trumps compromise!
   Lets face it, human beings make mistakes!!!
   I'm not sure how the belief that marriage is "the one exception" where somehow everyone (chooses) the "right mate" for a spouse and all marriages are meant to last a lifetime.
   Would you marry someone if you were unhappy with in a relationship?
   Would you marry someone you were not "in love" with?
   If you wouldn't marry someone under those conditions why should you stay under them? It doesn't make sense.
   Lastly if this guy is always complaining about his wife why is the onus on (her) to leave?
   I've known couples who essentially live in different parts of their home or one person lives in the basement. Essentially they're nothing more than roommates with the same last names.
   According to our society "longevity" is the meaning of a "successful marriage".
   On paper this couple has been married for over 30 years. However they have been "emotionally divorced" for 20 years. They show up at family outings but that's it.
   Whenever anyone says: "If you're unhappy, leave."
   They're telling you they aren't going to "change". You can forget couples therapy! It's take it or leave it proposition.
   There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.
   Anyone who is "unhappy" in a relationship and chooses to stay is choosing to be unhappy. Sometimes staying is easier than leaving.
   If you want something different (you) have to do something different. Every ending is a new beginning!

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