Why is it so hard to find a good man?

  1. profile image57
    Breanna Wilsonposted 9 months ago

    Why is it so hard to find a good man?

    I've doing dating site for at least six months and I can't anyone that's cute. I mean I usually care about personality but looks are a plus. But every guy I talk to just wants sex or nudes.

  2. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 9 months ago


    How old are you?
    Generally speaking in the U.S. most guys these days are not looking to settle down until they're near age 30 or beyond. If you're a young woman in your late teens or in your 20s most guys in your age range are in no hurry to become their parents.
    You said: "But every guy {I} talk to just wants sex or nudes."
    Each of us has our own "mate selection process" or "must haves list". Each of us chooses our own friends, lovers, and spouse. If you're having one bad dating experience after another it's probably  time for you to reexamine (your) mate selection process. Does your profile photos scream sex? If you want something different (you) have to do something different!
    When (we change) our circumstances change. 
    A few years ago I saw a young woman on a dating show who had gone out with a clean cut educated guy with a decent career. After the date she looked into the camera and said: "I like my men to have a little (thug) or (swagger) with them."
    And yet her initial complaint was every guy she met was a jerk!
    The reality is she was attracted to jerks!
    Is it possible that every "good man" you meet you put in your "friend zone"? Have you met men you felt were "too nice"?
    Whatever your definition is of a "good man" I'm sure there are guys who meet that. However if you're looking for hot looking jerk who is only good to you then you're going to have a more difficult time finding that kind of guy. Another example wanting a CEO for a husband who is home by 5PM each night. Some desires are in conflict with one another! 
    Think of yourself as a company looking to hire a person to fill a positon. You're going to receive a ton of resumes. However if you have a "screening process" that you adhere to you simply eliminate those who are not "qualified".
    There's no rush. Your goal is to find the "right one".
    One exercise you might try is imagining yourself being the type of man you want to be with and asking yourself if you were (him) What would be on (his must haves list)? Would you want you? 
    If the answer is "no" then cultivate the traits you believe such a man would want in a lady. If you were him would you be joining this particular dating site? You have to run in the same circles.

  3. JenniferStone7 profile image60
    JenniferStone7posted 9 months ago


    To all the women who say there are no good men left in the world: you obviously haven’t met the men I know, love, and adore.
    Beyond that, you’re probably missing those that are standing right in front of you.
    Let’s get one thing straight when we’re talking dating to find a lifelong relationship: nobody’s perfect. There is no dream man who will walk into your life, sweep you off your feet, and not have to put his baggage down first. We’re human. We come with baggage.
    I think the key to any good relationship is not to judge your partner for not having their shit together—because, let’s face it, you probably don’t either.
    I’d also urge you to pay attention to who you’re finding yourself attracted to. It’s not news that women tend to be attracted to bad boys, even when the words coming out of our mouths are, “It’s just so hard to find a good man.” Are they hard to find, or are you not looking for them?
    Good men are out there.
    They’re the ones calmly standing by during a fight, watching other men tussle like buffoons, trying to assert a dominance they don’t deserve, because dominance is earned, not won. They’re the guys who remember your favorite flavor of ice cream and what you’re allergic to. They’re the men who make sure their lady friends get home safe after one too many at the bar.
    These good men are waiting in the wings. Waiting to be recognized. Waiting for the day the women they love and care for so dearly stop getting baited by the bad boys, and instead choose them for their heart and soul.
    It’s not that there’s a lack of good men in the world; what we want and what we say we want are two totally different things.
    So own it.
    You don’t want a man who is sensitive, caring, and emotionally available, because he makes you feel too vulnerable, too seen. You’re not ready for that kind of raw, deep love.
    Most people aren’t.
    So many of us have been hurt in relationships, wounded by those who have claimed love for us. And we bring that fear forward into new relationships.

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