Why is it so hard for good people to have/find relationships with quality/good people?
There is the internet, stir events-match.com, eharmony, sporting events, botanical garden evening events, plays, art work, parades, happy-hour, etc. It seems that good quality people have a difficult time finding love.
Why do you think the good people never meet the other good people? Do we have too much technology preventing normal human interaction like people were forced to take in the 80's? Are we now absorbed in careers to our detriment? Does society now move so fast that we have no time to invest in relationships with others? Wondering why you think good people are single?
I think sometimes folks are trying too hard or looking in the wrong places. When I was single I tried way to hard to meet women in all the wrong places. Once I quit trying so hard, I met my wife on a blind date and we were married in less than a year. The fact that people always have their faces glued to a cell phone doesn't help either.
I agree with you. I did the same mistake few years ago...searching everywhere, Clubs, Weddings and so on. But just when I was about to give up I met my wife. Out of all things we do in life, we seem to forget one critical thing. The Man Above...GOD!
Good people meet each other all the time. It's not the people, but the mentality and context that seems to be the problem. With technology and social media, we're now just isolated individuals standing among each other yet not actually with one another.
If we're spending time with someone and find ourselves wanting to check our mobile device, it's not the other person's fault. It's ours. It's not as if the other person isn't interesting. We haven't been interesting enough to engage in or invested enough to become engaged.
Right now some people might be thinking, "But s/he's boring, It's not my fault I want to pay attention to something else." That's a terrible way to think. People aren't here to entertain you. Socialization requires interaction. Get out of your own head and into the situation.
I think there are a couple main problems, the fact that most people are dishonest and prideful. Because of this, relationships will not last, and because of the degradation in the world of values, these values are hard to find because people are selfish and greedy generally. The mainstream culture promotes this.
I honestly don't think good people are single.
Maybe its my age? Or maybe I look at things differently. I see people who are not in relationships and they seem happy. They are taking time to develop a career or something like that. I know our kids are much more busy than we were at that age and the same goes for young adults exploring the workforce.
I see people my age who have been married 3 times already and I think what kind of emotional roller coaster are they on to be able to handle that. They have children from different marriages and the idea of juggling all that makes my head spin.
I see bad relationship all the time. And maybe those people you speak of who are "good" people see that too and maybe they are willing to wait for that perfect person so they don't find themselves divorced in 5 years. We learn from the mistakes of our parents and its seem that these parents are teaching the next generation divorce is no fun at all.
One other factor is that we tend to change over time. I know I don't think the same as I did 20 years ago. So maybe waiting for the right person is a good idea. You know if you meet a person and a few years later you have different ideas about life and it causes problems
No, good people aren't single. Smart people are single until the time is right.
Our lives are for the most part the end result of the (choices) and decisions (we) have made along the way. Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. There's no getting around this. Even if one is using online dating they are still responsible for the profiles they select over those they (chose) to overlook. You're the buyer!
"If it's on my plate I must have ordered it."
The first thing a person has to do is (own their choices) in life. Whenever we focus on things outside of us as the cause for our unhappiness it makes us feel hopeless. If you want something different (you) have to do something different!
"Perception is reality"
A person who has a negative mindset and constantly says things like; "It's them", "All the good ones are taken" or "They're are liars, cheaters, or emotionally unavailable and none of them want a commitment." is creating (their own) reality. The truth is over 2.3 Million weddings take place each year in the U.S. alone! That's over 6000 weddings per day.
No matter what you look like or what you do for living you are someone's "type". People blame their appearance for being alone.
Simply go for a walk, look around the grocery store, mall, parks, beaches, movie theatre, restaurants, or even churches and you will see people whom you feel are overweight, too skinny, have odd shaped physical features, bowlegged, missing teeth or whatever and you believe you are more attractive than they are....And yet you see them with a mate! They've got someone special they're holding hands with, laughing with, hugging, and kissing as they go through life.
One of the issues "good people" have is they're NOT attracted to other "good people"! In our youth both the "nice girls" and the "nice boys" get ignored by the cool or popular kids. Instead of the "nice girls" and "nice boys" coupling up they become determined to find a way to be (accepted) by the "in crowd". There's the old quote: "We ignore those who adore us and adore those who ignore us."
You could stick a woman in a room with five guys and have four of them on their knees extending their heart out towards her while the fifth guy sits in a corner sipping a cocktail acting as if she does not exist. That will be the guy she wants to get to know!
People say they want a nice,honest, open, loving mate; BUT they chase after those who are a "mystery" or a "challenge".
One place where we're sure to find "good people" are those we've placed in "The Friend Zone".
This is an excellently writing response to the question. As I was reading this, I think my mouth was hanging open. Yep all this advice is SPOT ON. Way to go!
"Its on my plate I must have ordered it"... SO TRUE AND FUNNY!
I have to disagree with this answer. I am a "good" person yet I feel like the biggest weirdo magnet. I am always being chased by the "wrong" type of men. "Good" men don't want to date me because I am too boring, too "good". So I remain single.
OldRoses, Your statement: "Good" men don't want to date me because I am too boring, too "good". proves my point! They're also "good men" who say they can't find "good women" because they often see them as being "too nice"!
Sporting events if you love the sport yourself, Botanical Gardening events if you love botanical gardening, plays if you love acting in them, art work if you love creating art yourself, are all great places/things to do to meet the people you want to meet..(or rather the places things to do where good people will meet other good people)....My point being is most people are looking for friends/boyfriends/girlfriends, & so do things with that goal in mind....When what they should always do is things they themselves love to do, & leave meeting friends/boyfriends/girlfriends to fate....Not being able (so far) to meet the right people/partner shouldn't really enter our minds, all that should is what we want to do next..If we can manage to fill our whole weeks/months up with things we love doing, then naturally we'l meet people/friends/partners along the way....Like i say most people i know go about life completely backwards, & think that as long as they have a partner that's all they need, but what if their partner leaves them?....So it's always things we love doing first & we're bound to meet our soul mate along the way, we have to as it's "the" most logical place to meet our soul mate & good friends....It is logical that we should have some major interest in common with our soul mate, so places we love is where we should logically meet them all!lol
Time is of the essence to meet people and so much has changed this allows for different opportunities.
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