meeting the in laws for the first time ice breaker

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   tequilarosemama4posted 15 years ago

   ok so your meeting the in laws for the first time. you don't think they will approve of you but you want to make a good first impression. your sure there will be tension in the room. tell me something you would do to either impress them or break the ice (tension or nerveousness).
   
   
   my future husbands mother dosen't like me she thinks i'm a slut but i want to make a good impression on them when i meet them for the first time. so i wll be myself  and make sure they know i have their son's best interest at heart. i would proably tell a joke or something to ease the tension and my nerves.

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   cosetteposted 15 years ago

   prove her wrong by wearing something demure yet stylish, and be super polite and don't give her any reason to judge you. she will be looking for Achilles heels, trust me.
   
   just stay focused and relaxed and charming. you seem like a nice woman, to me. you look nice.
   
   good luck.

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   charanjeet kaurposted 15 years ago

   Cossette that is the best advice anyone could give. I would say just follow your heart and dont try too hard. Like you said you have her sons best interest it goes to show you care. She will be moved trust me a mom will know what his son likes. And just chill and make it more relaxing.

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   theirishobserver.posted 15 years ago

   Me - tell them their daughter is pregnant... cuts out all the small talk

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   cosetteposted 15 years ago

   thanks charanjeet. i adored my husband and he was like the favorite son so his mom hated me because he found someone to love besides her. weird, i know. anyway, loving her son and treating him well and being respectful of her and her family and being an asset to her son didn't help - this woman was determined to not like me and think me a slut because i lived with him without being married, and even after we got married it didn't help. i won't terrorize tequilarose with my tale of woe, but it's all about control for the most part. no woman, no matter how beautiful or accomplished will ever be good enough for some women, which is a travesty. any girls my son has been interested in have always been welcomed and treated with kindness and respect, out of kindness and respect for my son.
   
   tequila, if it goes south, don't think it's you, because it's not, ok? and don't tell a joke, because if no one laughs you will feel bad. just be cheerul and happy and be yourself.

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      charanjeet kaurposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Aww cosette, im sad to read this. But the gem of person you are, it is her loss to lose on such a loving daugther in law. I can relate to your story as have many possesive mom in laws down my side as well. Heard it from my friends so you are not alone. I guess no matter how big thier boys grow they are gonna pamper them as if they still need them. This feeling comes from the need to belong.
      
      As to the OP listen to everyones advice but follow your heart. You will know just the thing to do when faced with the situation.

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   Alessia Amnesiaposted 15 years ago

   Just be yourself. You seem like a nice person and you don't even look the tiniest bit slutty in your photo. She may be apprehensive about giving up her baby boy, but I'm sure she'll learn to love you as much as she loves him with time.

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   tequilarosemama4posted 15 years ago

   ty for all the advice

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   wychicposted 15 years ago

   My husband just decided he wasn't going to impress anybody...my mom made it very clear she didn't like him at first (never met him when she made that decision), and his attitude was basically, "Tough, as long as I know I treat her daughter well and we're happy, who cares what she thinks?" Not easy for all, I know, but it did seem to take the tension out of the first meeting, his natural good manners worked well with her, and they've...mostly...gotten along since.
   
   For me...my ex's mom is awesome and I met her before we were officially dating, so there was no tension whatsoever there. She's a very warm, caring kind of person that just seems to be everyone's mom. As for my current husband...his mom lives in Detroit and is in her 90s so I'll likely never meet her. However, he was the oldest of the kids, and was only in the family from age 13 on (she had four biological, two adopted kids) so I doubt there would be the possessiveness that many mothers show over their sons. Unfortunately, the true in-laws died long before I was born, though I'm told they would have loved me to death.

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