ME AND MY FILIPINA...NEED ADVICE

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   kumar1234posted 13 years ago

   I am indian national having a filipina girl friend. We are on for almost 8 years now. We met online in 2001 and managed to meet after 4 years of countinous communications. we both are in dubai now and happily living here.
   She is always my strength and there is no life with out her. we had realized our bond several times during the off times we had.
   Now the problem i am facing is about our future. I wanted to marry and live with her only. And me being an indian national, my parents wanted me to follow the tradition of marrying an indian women! its damn. however, i love my parents and know my obligations towards them! for me to make them understood, i should first conffirm our future will be bright.
   We are in a very serious trouble now as how can we stay longer in dubai? how how we will be able to stay together? when it comes to cross country alliance, she cant cop up with my family. and me, i cant also leave my parents and migrate to philippines. i would have been blindly marrying my girl if i were in an european country wherein we can stay till end. Place like dubai is - we can stay as long as we have a job. what then?
   
   i cant see her crying when i tried to realise her these truths. and 10 years is not that small to forget eachother.
   can anyone tell me what we could do? should i forget her? should i marry her knowing the fact that we cant be together for long?

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      pisean282311posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      have u given up?..how did u decide u can't be together for long?..convince ur parents , after all what they want is assurance that u wuld have good life and at sametime they would be concerned about 'log kya kahenge stuff' ..reassure them that u know what u r doing..assure them that u wuld be happy with her and log are not important for u and only ur parents are important..i guess u wuld have break through in it..i am Indian and i can understand it is not easy..but forgetting her wont be easy either...isn't it?

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         kumar1234posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         its nt easy..i am going through the pain of it.  I wouldnt realize philippines communitaty are more conservative than us! she ready to die for me. i have seen them freaky all the way till i realize what i am for her and what she is for me!
         i know its a matter of a month to do the so called "giving up" but dark future of having her face all the way in my life?
         "log kya kahenge" is a piece of shit for me. concern is the parents who cant communicate nor she could show her love to them. and moreovver, i am the only son from a ffamily with high traditional values.
         and can you also tell me that the love stay for ever? what if?? as she bored after a while??

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            pisean282311posted 13 years agoin reply to this

            does love stay for ever?..well no..it needs to be kept ignited..one needs to keep working on it..no matter whatever person in love says ...if one stops working on it ..it might die..
            
            was if she gets bored after a while?..
            
            well it can happen with Indian wife too..she too can get bored after a while..as far as marriage is concerned indians and Filipinos are similar is how they view marriage..while divorce rate is low in India , it is considered anti filipino to take divorce..marriages are considered to be sacred thing in eyes of god by Filipinos...
            
            ya parents and ur girl friend ..how would they communicate , would they be able to manage is something best which only you can answer...

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               kumar1234posted 13 years agoin reply to this

               thanks a lot.....though i am still confused on what next, still you made me feel good. i can feel now its not a false hope

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                  sandsmadisonposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  hi there, i stumble upon this thread while i was searching for blogs and forums regarding indian and filipino relationships..i read ur thread and i fully understand ur situation..i myself is in the same situation too..im a filipina, having a relationship with an indian/punjabi(sikh) man..
                  
                  before telling you my situation, i like to comment or give you advise first about your dilema..i advice that you have to follow your heart..dont give up on her..i believe that she trully loves you..we filipinas are very loyal to our boyfriends and husbands..your girlfriend will be there for you no matter what happens..she will be taking care of you until her last breath..take care of her like she takes care of you..COMPROMISE..she had spent her 8years with you..loving, caring, taking care of you and just being there for you..dont let it go to waste..she had spent almost half of her life for you, now its your turn to compromise to FIGHT FOR HER!..we filipinas are educated and smart women..we can do whaterver we want because we are independent and strong willed women..but if we fall in love with our man, we will surely do everythig for him as well..your girl must have loved you so much that she also compromises lots of her time and other things for you..if she didnt love you that much, she should have gone to other places and leave yo or marry other nationalities like americans, europeans etc..SHE CHOSE YOU BECAUSE SHE LOVES YOU..NOW ITS YOUR TURN TO GIVE BACK..you parents would understand..the last decision is still comes from YOU not your parents..do not sacrifice your lifetime happiness just bcause of tradition and cultural thing..the moist important hing is you love and you are loved..and she will surely die for you because of her love for you..can you indian woiman whom you dont know die for you?..i dont think so..think about it..
                  
                  one thing..if yu already know you cant decide for yourself whom to marry..and if you already know your parents will arrange marrieage for you,..then whydid you let yourself got into this kind of situation?being inlove for 8 long years with a filipina?..you are definitely wasting her time and youth..so fight for her..she is worth all of the sacrifices 101%..
                  
                  
                  now im not in the mood for telling my story too..haha..i was so emotionally affected with your story..anyways, just a lil tidbit..im worried that my guy will be as confused as you now..i want him so much..i love him..and i dont think i cant live without him..i will always pray that he will fight for me too..thathe wil ot marry an indian woman and will chose me to be his wife in the future..
                  
                  for indian man, i always respect you and i can say you are the best lovers..but please, be strong and be  brave to make your own decisions..dont let  women cry esp if they had given you so much love..love is all that matters in this world..not culture..not religion..and not race..its all about LOVE...

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                     sandsmadisonposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     another thing is..you are worried on how your gf communicat with your parents..communication is not all about words, languages, dialects..ACTIONS is the best communication in the world..she will communicate through actions..she will serve your parents and show her love to them through actions..action is a stronger means of communication thatn saying it using words..
                     
                     just believe and trust your gf..she deserves to be happy with you..and you desrve to be happy with her..dont let your very nice and happy relationship go to waste..just dont..trust me..
                     
                     if you want to talk more about it..email me..

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                     sarthak05agarwal8posted 10 years agoin reply to this

                     yes you can marry in india with your gf , as i already married to filipina and she is staying in india now by God grace ,,

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      Crisramasposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Kumar,
      
      If you really love your girl friend, nobody can block you. You're the Captain of your soul and Master of your Faith. Though you love your parents, you should consider your personal happiness and future. Are you going to stay with your parents forever or stay with your wife together and establish a family? Remember, as a man, you're the head of the family, you manage your income and expenses. It's only you who can decide which way to select your future or your parents.
      
      Even if you're already have your own family, still you can support your parents if you want to. What is important is your political will to stand by your own decision not by somebody else.
      
      Good luck.

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      alonelysoul31posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      hi kumar... i just read your post, i wonder wat hapen to you and your girl? im a filipina who is madly inlove with an indian man too... i understand your situation. me cant live without him too. but its been 5mos now. so what hapen? are you still together? im just asking...

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   MayaMaeposted 13 years ago

   Hi Kumar,
   
   I am filipina and I have a sikh boyfriend. I love him dearly, so much so that I am willing to let go of him if he decided to agree to have an arranged marriage by his parents. You see, like us filipinos, our parents, our family is very important to us. I know his family, especially his mum is his life. I will never take that away from him, even if it means that I will suffer. That is how much he means to me.
   
   At the beginning of our relationship, his family are looking for bride for him, and it was very difficult for both of us. He eventually introduced me to his siblings and in-laws. At first I thought it would a little pointless meeting them because I have heard that they are looking to get him married. But they (the brothers and sisters) reasoned out to his parents. Later on, he told his parents about us, they were not happy at first but it did not took time till they welcomed me to the family. I cannot believe how wonderful Sikh people are. They are very friendly and I felt truly accepted. Of course there are some things that I had to learn- and still do- about them, and they accommodate my background too. I understand that your family came from a deep rooted tradition, but like everyone said, your parents just want to know that you are happy, that this relationship will last. And trust me, we Filipinas as very loyal to people we love. My boyfriend's dad is a sikh priest, and he is well respected, but he calls me his 'small daughter-in-law' (in punjabi terms, been translated by my partner). About the language barrier, 'sandsmadison' is right, action speaks louder than words. Of course I cannot converse with them fluently, but I try to pick out words. You can also teach your girlfriend some  words ie 'kana' at least there is a basic words that they can base the conversation on.
   It is hard, very hard, but you know what, I embrace it with open arms. I think you should as well. Keep a positive mind and tell them; when you tell them about your girl, tell them as if it is a good news, don't put any doubt in your voice, the reaction will not instantly be happy, but keep persevering.
   
   Your girlfriend loves you, and is standing by you... so ask this question to yourself, is your girl worth fighting for?  Good luck... and may God bless you both..

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   joanna25posted 13 years ago

   hi there! i just want to asked for help and advice...
   for it happens i was inlove with an indian national and i love him so dearly.
   the problem is i am 10 years older than him
   would you think it would worked out
   or if ever we will have relationship it would not gone long
   
   please help i need an advice.
   do you know any of an indian national married with a filipino national which have 10 years age gap?
   are they happily married?
   thank you very much...

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      Bankssposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      heyyy... that's not at all a problem,, see if you love someone then age,height,weight is just a number. you can never face any problem regarding to this matter ..but be very sure that he truly  loves you unconditionally . btw being an Indian guy...if you will take my advice then i ll suggest you to get married asap with your mahal. thanks a lot for your question...

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   Catering101posted 13 years ago

   Hello Kumar, it's not easy to adjust whenever religion and cultures are involved in a relationship. But you should always think that it you and your future happiness that matters. If you see yourself very happy with your Filipina girlfriend then you should just let go of her like that. It's very difficult to live in regrets. So I suggest you follow your heart. Goodluck to you and your gf!

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   Cheeky Girlposted 13 years ago

   Hy Kumar. My partner is part Indian, and being living with me over a year. And she is a female, so has gone against many traditions, and not without difficulty. When it comes to mixed relationships (I have had them with male + female) it comes down to only one thing. Put the person you love FIRST.
   
   Everything and everyone else comes second. The person you love is the person you want to start a family with, be with for the rest of your life. You already know this. Id your partner is not first, it will not work. Would she put you first if she was in your position? If the answer is yes, then you have a very special person right there; treat that person like you would treat Gold itself. Follow your heart. You have been together a long time. I would never be apart from the special person in my life, and would be with her no matter where it was, Dubai, Manila, London or anywhere else. She means that much to me! I hope you find the right path.

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      prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      That..
      
      Love prevails!

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         canadawest99posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Of course you need to honor and respect your parents as much as you can and family is important but if you are living your life for your parents you are in trouble because that never works out.  Someday your parents will be gone from this earth and you will be left here with your decisions so think about that.

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   Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

   I think if your parents can't accept and support both of you being married and you can't go against your parent's wishes, you're better off breaking up with your girlfriend.  If you marry her it sounds like your parents are going to get pissed off at you.  Heck they might even hurt her.

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   Astra Nomikposted 13 years ago

   Could anyone love someone on the one hand and threaten on the other hand? I know what it is like to be threatened in a sense by my own family. I called their bluff. Sometimes it pays to do that. Not everyone can, but it worked out for me in the end, as my partner was 120% supportive. Being in love is amazing, being strong and standing up to others requires whole new set of skills. Families play all kinds of games.
   
   Some relationships make us realise how strong we are or how strong we need to be for the ones we love. Anyway, there are other games too...

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