Being alone

1. 66

   lovetherainposted 6 years ago

   My bf is visiting friends. I miss him. I just want him here, so we can go for a walk on the beach. He usually spends sundays with me. But I know he needs his "down time" and I'm not going to ask him to come home.
   
   I am an introvert(almost a hermit)and he is very social and extroverted. He hangs out with friends twice a week, while I stay home alone.
   
   I don't know if I have a question really. I kind of just wanted to vent. Btw, we've been together 20 years.

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   1. 73

      dashingscorpioposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      After being together for (20) years you  both should be comfortable.
      Clearly he accepts you as you are and he isn't allowing it to change him.
      Essentially you're both getting to do what you want.
      
      The only issue is a part of you wants him to "change" to be with you more.
      Generally speaking people don't change unless (they) are unhappy.
      The only way for "opposites" to get along is acceptance of differences.
      
      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

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   2. 60

      Live to Learnposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I'm an introvert also. More so than you. I do love my husband but I enjoy my time alone. I think I'd make a successful hermit.

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2. 74

   dredcuanposted 6 years ago

   Jist let him spend some time with his friends. As long as he knows his limitation, that's perfectly fine. I'm an introvert as well so I know how it's hard to understand other people in our lives without the same attitude just like ours.

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3. 80

   Kathryn L Hillposted 6 years ago

   you are a needy introvert. Not good.
   Being alone is freedom.
   Enjoy it.

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   1. 76

      Castlepalomaposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I agree

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   2. 66

      lovetherainposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      You are very rude.

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      1. 60

         Live to Learnposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         I thought that too, when I read it. I know it isn't easy. Extroverts are known to attempt to convert us. I've heard it all and, you know what? There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. It's their problem if they don't like us the way we are. Of course, that's what I tell myself. Not them. That would be rude and I hate to follow suit.

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      2. 80

         Kathryn L Hillposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         - just trying to be helpful.

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         1. 76

            Castlepalomaposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Sometimes people are too polite. I know alot of Canadians are.

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         2. 74

            Aime Fposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            I agree with your sentiment but telling someone that they’re “needy” is never really a nice thing to say.
            
            Personally speaking, learning to enjoy my own company has been one of the best things I’ve ever done. I used to feel anxious whenever people would go out and do things without me (even when I was the one that didn’t want to go) but now I absolutely love being alone. Go for those walks by yourself. Push yourself a little to do things that you would normally do with him by yourself. You can get out of your comfort zone a bit without compromising your introverted-ness and you might just find a bit of happiness in your solitude.

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4. 62

   renstylesp1posted 6 years ago

   What you've done is already right. Being a couple doesnt mean we need to be "together" 24/7. Some 'me' time is also important to discover our own potentials and interests. However, for a 20 years of relationship, I think you're the one who understands most what's best for your relationship.

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5. 84

   Kenna McHughposted 6 years ago

   I am going to give you a hug!

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