jump to last post 1-13 of 13 discussions (13 posts)

Why is it difficult for some people to understand others wish for solitude?

  1. krisingreen profile image60
    krisingreenposted 6 years ago

    Why is it difficult for some people to understand others wish for solitude?

    I mean, some people find it difficult to understand why others want to be alone or left alone. They always think that being alone means being lonely and depressed. How did you deal with people like this, were you able to make them stop feeling sorry for you is you want to be alone?

  2. Jeannieinabottle profile image92
    Jeannieinabottleposted 6 years ago

    I know!  Some people just do not get it.  I can be very outgoing at times, but I find that draining.  I think there are some people that never fully understand why being alone can be so pleasant.  The best way to explain it to them is to say, "I am an introvert.  I enjoy your company, but I also need some alone time.  I am alone but not lonely."

  3. kittythedreamer profile image99
    kittythedreamerposted 6 years ago

    Some people are needier in the means of having people around them 24/7...while others don't need this sort of human interaction around the clock. I'm similar to you, I sort of like to be alone and if I encounter family or friends that find a nagging need to always call me or be around me...I tend to shy away from those people and they eventually get the point! Just because you desire to enjoy solitude and be by yourself, does not mean that you are depressed. In fact, it probably means the exact opposite! How would we ever get to know ourselves if we were never alone to talk and reflect upon ourselves? If you have someone in your life that has a constant need to be around you, just let them know that it's healthy to be alone sometimes.

  4. ElderYoungMan profile image78
    ElderYoungManposted 6 years ago

    It's a projective behavior, meaning that they view your request through their personal reasoning methodology.  Some people have a hard time letting go of their own methods of applying logic and they "Project" their own feelings on to other people.  Some folks don't have an appreciation for quiet and solitude.  I know people that can't sit in a house without a TV or a radio playing.  Silence is nerve-wrecking to them.  The ability to enjoy solitude speaks to having a peace-filled spirit.  My suggestion would be if you have people around you that are not at that level of maturity and peace, find a place away from them to get your quiet!  :-)

  5. crankalicious profile image94
    crankaliciousposted 6 years ago

    It's the age-old conflict between extroverts and introverts. Most people in this world are extroverts and they draw their energy from being around other people. Introverts get drained being around other people (though they may enjoy it) and require time alone to re-energize.

  6. profile image0
    rorshak sobchakposted 6 years ago

    This is such a great question you should get a medal for this question!!!!! This is something that bothers me everyday of my life.  I love being alone. Most people I know don't understand why I want to be alone all the time. Then I know people who are too clingy and they don't understand personal space. It is a hard thing to talk about to other people.

    rorshak sobchak

  7. duffsmom profile image59
    duffsmomposted 6 years ago

    I am quite a loner and would rather be alone, or with my family then out in the world with all the chaos.  I think people tend to view the world through their own filter--in other words if they do not like being alone, they cannot imagine anyone wanting to be alone.

    I don't deal with people like that because frankly, that is their problem and I could care less if some one feels sorry for me because I want to be alone.  I know the truth.

  8. kwade tweeling profile image89
    kwade tweelingposted 6 years ago

    After much study, I believe this is due to personality types. Some people need to have time alone to "wind down". Other people need to have someone close by at all times or they start to feel lonely and abandoned.

  9. edmob1 profile image59
    edmob1posted 6 years ago

    As social or pack mamals you chose,we require interaction. Have you considered that those associating your solitude with loneliness, maybe the ones requiring some interaction specifically from you.Something I far to often forget as enjoy periods of solitude.
    Then there are the close bonds of nurture and nature with in family and close groups.We must give of a chemical oduor or some sign that we need help.

  10. profile image0
    AMBASSADOR BUTLERposted 6 years ago

    I have always been a loner which have always been my personality make up but for me personally it helped prepared me for the vision GOD shown me of the other side of death on August 1, 1982 A.D. and fulfilling and completing GOD'S will and ultimate purpose for my life on the earth with my 3 hubs and answering questions on hubpages without being bombarded with outside distractions of other people crowding into my personal space on a daily encounter. Out of my observations of human beings and divine inspiration I have written the greatest article on the earth standing side by side with the holy bible. It is called " Daily Nuggets Moment AMBASSADOR BRANDON BUTLER "

  11. krisingreen profile image60
    krisingreenposted 6 years ago

    Wow! i love reading all your comments!
    I'm a loner too, I love being by myself and Im not really myself when I'm with someone. I just feel that I have to be the somebody to them all the time which drains me completely. I never was clingy even when Im in a relationship I could care less if my guy calls me or not or if he's out with friends partying. I love being by myself because I get great ideas and inspiration everywhere. And I honestly don't appreciate it when my friends frown at my behavior. They always question me WHY WHY WHY i prefer being by myself when there are tons to do with other people. I think having a social support group is okay but I grow tired of them easily, I always find great times when Im alone reading great books, poetry and simply admiring nature.

  12. tajman profile image74
    tajmanposted 5 years ago

    I think it's because human beings are naturally social so for someone to be by themselves seems unnatural.  Bouts of isolation are good for reflection but it definitely can't be a defining state as in wanting to be alone all the time. I usually just tell people "I'm fine, really," and add a little smile - because I am and I'm not annoyed that they show concern but welcome it because I know it's because they care.

  13. gmwilliams profile image86
    gmwilliamsposted 17 months ago


    In our extroverted & other oriented culture & society, we have been inculcated w/the premise that 1 is the loneliest(in quite the negative sense) number.  We have been further indoctrinated w/the premise that humans are born to be social.  Being social is seen as the BE & END ALL to human existence.  If one isn't social, it is assumed that something must be wrong w/him/her.  That premise & indoctrination is why many introverts are viewed as suspect, off-putting, standoffish,  & that word-antisocial.  Introverted people & loners are considered to be in need of "fixing" in order to be "more normal" i.e. accepted by our ever-social, extroverted culture & society.

    This thinking extends into why only children are oftentimes derided & the common thinking is that a child should have a sibling in order to be social.  Only children as w/introverts & loners are viewed as lacking in terms of sociability.  Such people are quite comfortable in being alone & in their own company.  However, those who are extroverts, sociable, & part of the sibling culture find these things to be weird as they are used to socializing & constantly being w/people.  Because of their socialized environment, they can't understand how onlies, introverts, & loners can be contentedly alone, pursuing solitary hobbies & activities.  Many extroverts, sociable, & those w/siblings find the pursuits of onlies, introverts, & loners to be quite boring because the latter are at ease being alone while the former are only happy gallivanting about, going from one social activity to another.