Should you keep an "ex" as friend on your myspace or facebook?

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   Bill Manningposted 13 years ago

   I've been going through some damn hard emotional stuff the past few weeks. A girl contacted me on myspace. After chatting to her for several weeks and really clicking with each other, we met.
   
   Since we had chatted so much we felt like we already knew each other and we really have lots in common. Well, I went back to her place that day and we cuddled and made out big time!
   
   I visited her again the next day, same thing happened. NO, we did not go all the way, just a lot of passion. We both kiss perfect together, damn it was great!!!!
   
   Well the next few days I heard nothing from her. Not on yahoo chat, nothing, very strange. Finally she sent me a email that she feels she is going too fast and I'm her "rebound" guy.
   
   Basically she wants to just be friends and take it real slow. That is fine, however it also means she is seeing others in the meantime.
   
   We agreed to keep each other as friends on myspace and facebook. BUT,,, that means I'm always tempted to keep checking her profiles!
   
   So if I see a "hottie" comment on hers from a guy, or her mood is set to "naughty" It makes me think of who she is seeing and what she is doing. Frankly it's driving me nuts.
   
   I know if I was big about it I would just not look at her profile and just wait to hear from her. But it's SOOOOOO damn tempting!!! If I got rid of her as a friend I would no longer have that need to check on her, which I know I should not be anyway.
   
   However I also would be throwing away a chance to be more with her if she decided to come back to me. So, should I leave her as a friend and drive myself nuts, or delete her and forget about her? Sorry for the long post.

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      warchild75posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I keep a couple of my ex's on facebook but have set them as limited meaning they cant see my updated photo's etc,i dont mind having on their i just dont want them knowing everything i do.

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      Hokeyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Deleted
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         Hokeyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I think you should just message other     s. If she isn't holding back for you then why should you hold back for her?

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      tobey100posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Not on a bet!

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   Poppa Bluesposted 13 years ago

   If you ask me, I'd say first she isn't your ex because you were never mutually exclusive, secondly, it appears as though she's already decided you're not what she's looking for. You can keep her as a friend but I wouldn't initiate any contact with her. Instead, I'd focus on other possibilities, like in my song "Forget Your Ex", the best way to forget your lover, is to find another! Good luck!

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      rebekahELLEposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Bill, I agree with poppa on this one. it sounds like you were just dating, not the same as being in a relationship. having her as a friend is going to drive you crazy, if you want to keep her as a friend, you're going to keep checking that profile, so move on... if she's really interested, she'll let you know. and there may be someone else around the corner for you. enjoy!

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   Richieb799posted 13 years ago

   ah the old keep seeing other people thing.. depends if its driving you mad it might start effecting your life and bringing you down.. you've gotta think of number one man.. It's all to do with the mindset, your the interesting one, she should be watching your profile,worried your not out with other girls..
   Sounds like she wants to have a look around, you should be doing the same man, you need to take it in your stride otherwise she'llwalk all over you, you need to act like you have other options

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   Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago

   I would have to say stop torturing yourself Bill. It isn't worth it...yes there was chemestry maybe for you but since she said that you are the "rebound guy" there wasn't anything for her. I'm sorry sweety but she isn't worth it. Delete her, forget her, and you'll find a real nice girl who won't think of yuo just as a rebound guy. You are a sweetheart and shouldn't be treated like that, hun!

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5. 62

   Bill Manningposted 13 years ago

   Thanks for the replies so far. We actually did a few more things after those first few days. I took her and her daughter to Universal Studios ( I live in Orlando).
   
   We had a great time, but that night she would not even give me a kiss. So yeah, I guess it's time to cut her from my profile. I'm a one on one type.
   
   I only date one girl at a time. If they want to date several at a time, fine, but I'm not going to date them! I'm actually looking for a long term relationship, not just having fun.
   
   Anyway thanks, it's hard to let go these days because it's so damn hard to meet anyone you click with today, and we get along great.

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      Crazdwriterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      *HUGS* You will meet someone Bill, I know you will. and yes it is hard to let go but remember you let go better things or girls will come your way.

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   Cagsilposted 13 years ago

   Should you keep an "ex" as friend on your myspace or facebook?
   
   This would depend on why they are your "ex"?
   
   If you harbor ill feelings toward the break up, then NO!
   
   If you don't, then I don't see why not.

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   A Texanposted 13 years ago

   Keep her as a friend and ignore her!
   
   They hate that shit!

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      donotfearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I'm laughing at this one Tex!  So freakin true..

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   Pearldiverposted 13 years ago

   Wasn't the Clue - "Let's be Friends" an indication that it was going nowhere?
   
   We've all had those ones Bill...  I'd always rather be told directly than to be subjected to that BS.  But you get that when you are being too open with your feelings, so early in the peace.
   
   Don't beat yourself up ... nice guys usually run second Mate!
   
   So yeah, listen to the Texan and start seeing more than one at a time.... in that way.. they are more likely to chase you instead of the other way yeah!

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   Hokeyposted 13 years ago

   I deleted my ex. Only way to move on. I don't want to see what she is doing and she doesn't need to see what I am doing.

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    donotfearposted 13 years ago

    You can control what you do on FB. It's just hard not checking on her. If the temptation is too dang much and you keep getting a slap in the face each time you read the comments, then delete. But it's best to keep it like it is. If you delete, she's in control, not you. But do what feels right in your own heart. I deleted somebody before, but never should have. I just thought the best thing to do was get em gone, ya know? But now I regret it. I'd rather stay a 'friend' status, even if it's someone who parted ways with on negative terms. Follow your gut and your heart.

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       Bill Manningposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Wow donotfear, you know exactly what I'm talking about! Yeah I should be big enough to not let it bother me and keep her as a friend. But it's hard right now to not peek in and see what's she's doing.
       
       Maybe if I can get by the next few days my feelings will be better and I can forget her. Time does heal everything, even if it was a fast couple of weeks. Thanks!

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    Ivorwenposted 13 years ago

    What about 'hiding' her for the moment?  That is what I do with people whose statuses I don't want to see on facebook, for what ever reason.  Every few months, I check on the hidden people, and reinstate those I would like to continue a friendship with.

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    Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

    I think it would be best if you just tried to move on without her. From what you just told us all in this forum, it seems she likes you as a friend, but your not what she's looking for in a boyfriend.  Sorry, to have to put it like that but from experience, it's always better to admit to yourself the harsh and cruel truth early on then to live for a few months in denial.  trust me, i know. 
    
    all i can tell you is, if you want to keep her as a friend on myspace, facebook or whatever, then you can.  just don't e-mail or contact her unless she contacts you, and try to get out more.  Hang out with your friends, go to parties, join a gym, or a book club or something.  You might meet someone new there.  And if it gets too tempting to want to contact her still after all that, then just erase her from your myspace and facebook then.  this way, she'll be out of site, out of mind.  then you can officially move on.  if she says anything to you about that, just say that you were  deleting friends you haven't spoken to in while on there, and accidentally deleted hers by  mistake. 
    
    anyway, i hope that helps you out. 

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13. 62

    Bill Manningposted 13 years ago

    Thanks everyone, and you Stevennix2001. What you say is right on. I actually would love it if she flat out said "sorry but your not my type and we are not ever going to be anymore than friends."
    
    I like being told flat out what is what, instead of hoping, which is what I am doing here. Time to take more pictures for my tourist site at the theme parks! Maybe I'll run into a babe out there.

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       Crazdwriterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       OOOO So what theme park is next on your list, Bill?

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          Bill Manningposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Well I have an annual pass to Universal Studios. Plus I'm getting an annual pass to all the Disney parks (big bucks!). I'm going to take pics of the Mardi Gras parade at Universal next week and make a slide show hub.
          
          Why, want to join me, I'll be happy to have company! 

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       Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       no problem man.  anytime.  like cw said earlier, you seem like a decent guy, so it's your ex's loss if anything. i'm sure you'll meet someone else.

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    Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago

    If I lived out in Orlando I would so be there. Have the Annual pass for US out here in Cali which is going to expire next month lol
    
    I still have to get out there and go to Universal and Disney. Hubby promised we can go ...sometime...some year and yea big bucks for the annual pass for Disney

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    WriteAngledposted 13 years ago

    Hey Bill,
    
    You look like a really cute guy and I think there must be many ladies out there who would be really glad to know you! Heck, I would if I wasn't across the pond from you and promised to another. Wipe her off, I'm sure the perfect partner is out there waiting for that special moment when you come into her life )

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       Bill Manningposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Why thank you for saying that WriteAngled. One of the downsides of working for yourself at home is that you have no way of interacting or meeting others. Chatting in forums like this is my only social life, lol!
       
       However I do go to the theme parks to take pictures for my site, so maybe I'll run into someone there. Anyway thanks!

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